Among the classified State Department cables released by Wikileaks—cables so sensitive that, even now, unauthorized federal employees are barred from reading them online—is a report of tense meeting between our ambassador to Norway and Santa Claus.

Paranoid egoists do everything they can to control the people in their inner circle. Wikileaks founder Julian Assange's tactic is to cajole associates into a blackmail-friendly, $20 million nondisclosure agreement.

Julian Assange is looking for some PR help in the Wikileaks London office, and he's apparently conducting some pretty intense, philosophical interviews. It also appears he's been watching Speed.

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange's reputation as a fighter for transparency and destroyer of secrets ought to be thoroughly demolished by today's spectacle of the New York Times literally forcing him to give up the Guantanamo Bay files he'd been hoarding for months.

Among the cache of documents allegedly leaked to Wikileaks by PFC Bradley Manning was over 700 dossiers on detainees at Guantanamo Bay Prison. A slew of international papers published stories based on them today, and Wikileaks is dribbling out the full cache. They paint a picture of Gitmo as a poop-strewn debacle stuffed with crazy people, a journalist, random Afghan civilians—even some dangerous terrorists.

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange has been named one of the 20 best dressed men in the world by French magazine Le Figaro Madame, along with Barack Obama and fashion designer Tom Ford. Applauding the fashion choices of someone currently being investigated for rape charges is sort of tactless—Sure, he might be a rapist but he looked damn good doing it!—but we do have to admit Assange has undergone quite a successful makeover since we watched him unveil Wikileaks' helicopter video at the National Press Club in D.C. a little over a year ago, draped in an ill-fitting suit and loose tie. Assange has become an unlikely symbol of techno-chic, with his shapeshifting hair and Brandoesque leather jackets; this culminated in Newsweek's absurd "Christmas with Julian" photo spread last December.

The New York Times pressed Wikileaks to publish classified Pentagon documents to avoid charges of conspiring to commit espionage, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange claimed. The Times was too scared to scoop, in other words.

In his first public appearance since being arrested for rape and sexual molestation charges in England, free speech champion Julian Assange threw a fit, threatening to sue a guy who said mean stuff about him.

Not only is Julian Assange great at getting government secrets, he's an awesome dancer! Watch his blonde hair bounce with the music as he debuts some sweet dance moves in Reykjavik, Iceland.

Here's an internet leak that could well spark yet another revolution — a Dance Dance Revolution. For a brief moment back in December 2009, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange let down his famously icy walls, and became one with the music at an empty Reykjavík discotheque.

Emmy and Peabody-winning comedy writer Allison Silverman brings us this reenactment of Julian Assange crashing at a friend's house. With help from Get Your War On creator David Rees, we discover the Wikileaks founder needs a serious lesson in manners.

Turns out noted couchsurfer Julian Assange is a bad houseguest even when he isn't allegedly raping his host! Two friends of Allison Silverman—a comedy writer and an executive producer of The Colbert Report—describe the time an ungrateful Assange commandeered their sofa, ate their food, screwed up their computer, wandered around half-naked with a fuck buddy, and overstayed his welcome by several days. [YouTube via @AllisonSilvermn]

Lawyers for Wikileaks founder Julian Assange have filed a formal appeal to the London high court's ruling last month that he be extradited to Sweden to face rape and sexual assault charges.

Not if he gets his way in his next movie he won't. Also today: pilot casting including roles for an old WB favorite and a new CW regular, Tom Hanks and Tim Allen hop aboard the lucrative theme park ride adaptation movie racket, and Christina Aguilera gets her sentence.

We're used to all sorts of crazy trends coming out of the world of pop culture, but the most recent one is incredibly alarming. What kind of world do we live in where anti-Semitism is not only acceptable, but the flavor of the moment?

PayPal ditched Wikileaks last December because, the company falsely claimed, its "activities were deemed illegal in the United States." The whole thing caused something of a stir. But look! As the Atlantic Wire reports, you can now use PayPal to donate money to Julian Assange's legal defense fund, which is prominently advertised on Wikileaks' web site, and which Assange can use to fund "non-profit bodies which have freedom of speech or freedom of information as a principal aim." Hmmm—I know of one of those that could use some money.

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange has—reportedly—told the British satirical and current affairs magazine Private Eye that there is a conspiracy of Jewish reporters out to get him, and that they're a bunch of little girls. He did this in response to charges that he associates with anti-Semites. Touche!

What do rapey secret leaker Julian Assange and greedy imbecile Sarah Palin have in common? Both love money, and have trademarked their names in pursuit of making more of it.

The last decent president we had in this country, George W. Bush, was all set to give tomorrow night's keynote address at the clunky Young Presidents' Organization's Global Leadership Conference, in Denver. But then who shows up at the conference today, via satellite of course, but Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, the gravest threat to global civilization since Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties. Can't have that! So Bush has canceled.

A British judge has ruled that Wikileaks founder Julian Assange can be extradited to Sweden to face rape and sexual molestation charges there. The judge says Sweden's extradition request is legitimate; Assange says Sweden will just be a detour on the way to Guantanamo Bay if England grants it. He has vowed to appeal to England's high court as well as the European Court of Human Rights (because all humans have a right not to face inconvenient criminal charges.) He's currently out on bail; according to the New York Times, the continued conditions of that bail are still under discussion in the courtroom.