Baby showers tend to be happy, innocuous gatherings dabbled with smiley supportive friends, gushing family members and the occasional guest who clearly doesn't want to be there. But when Juno Lynn Spears throws a big ol' baby party down in sweet home Louisiana, party guests also include armed guards and security detail. Why? Well, big sis Britney came to town, bringing her best pair of booty shorts and that memorable messy blonde bun from her barefoot bathroom escapade days along. The rest of the guest list, including which family member was noticeably missing, after the jump.

Just as we were about to laugh a little bit at Juno Lynn Spears' decision to spend her 17th birthday at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant and going on a shopping spree at Wal-Mart, we remembered back to our 17th birthday and stopped laughing. We were in college, in suburbia, and spent the day in class, then at some chain restaurant with our boyfriend, and probably at the movies in the mall. How quickly we forget that Jamie Lynn is still just a kid! Just because she's grown up before our eyes and starred in a hit show and, well, gotten pregnant, doesn't mean the girl shouldn't abandon her awkward late teen years and all the mall-filled nights that go with them. More details on our favorite real-life Juno and her day of kicking "16 And Pregnant!!!" headlines to the curb, after the jump.

There's some good news and bad news to report regarding Juno Lynn Spears' wedding plans and, in standard fashion, we'll present the bad news first: Jamie Lynn will apparently not be getting hitched, nor moving back to, LA. Sorry to disappoint any of you who adore the sounds of helicopters circling 'round and 'round your neighborhood daily, or the great fun of late-night gurney trips the young mother will no doubt be taking over the next few years. The good news? Jamie Lynn's gonna look hot in her wedding dress! More details on what her trailertastic plan is to ensure she looks "beautiful" walking down the aisle after the jump.

Judging by some of the odder items featured on Juno Lynn Spears' alleged baby registry, it seems as though the 16 year-old is hopeful that her precious little one will turn out to be another Spears family cash cow. As People revealed this morning, Jamie Lynn drove over 80 miles from her home in Kentwood to register her bundle of joy at Babies R Us (we're guessing the internet must've been down in Kentwood?). Listed among necessities like strollers and baby monitors priced at $199, the mommy-to-be has picked out some jazzy presents designed to jump start an infant's road to insta-stardom, which will likely come via a role on some Nickelodeon song-and-dance show. See the full list, including the Idol-in-training items, after the jump.

Come April 4th, Juno Lynn Spears will finally turn one year older (and, we can only hope, wiser), at which point she'll finally be able to escape the nasty stigma of being Sweet 16 And Pregnant. But, sadly, she will never be able to escape the stigma of being Britney Spears' sister. At least, not technically. But based on photographs taken of the smiling Jamie Lynn in Louisiana yesterday, she may have figured out a way to distance herself from The Package using nothing but her wardrobe. While we are not necessarily advocating short shorts and visible bras as appropriate outerwear for pregnant teens, when you compare it to Britney's penchant for visible bellies and bikini tops worn as, well, tops, Jamie Lynn looks downright Victorian in comparison.