Your favorite art-collecting, Greenwich-living, publicity-shunning hedge fund billionaire, Steve Cohen (left), turns 53 today. New York's most famous drag queen, Lady Bunny (right), is turning 47. Marcia Gay Harden is 50. Photographer Terry Richardson is turning 44. Halle Berry turns 43. Steve Martin is 64. Oscar-winning composer James Horner is turning 56. Tony-winning playwright Thomas Meehan turns 80. Magic Johnson is 50. Actress Mila Kunis is 26. Susan Saint James, the actress and wife of NBC Sports chairman Dick Ebersol, is turning 63. Musician David Crosby is 68. E! host and Top Model regular Jay Manuel is turning 37. And romance novelist Danielle Steel is celebrating her 62nd birthday today. Weekend birthdays are below.

The Terry Gilliam-directed fourth hour segment of the Today Show continues apace. Today the show's online correspondent showed up with a report on what the internet people were talking about, and apparently it's Hoda Kotb's cleavage. She should flaunt it!

Hey, it's the fifth of May everyone! Time to watch Kathie Lee embarrass herself on national television in a celebration of what white people think is Mexican culture.

You know the story: the Today show is now produced by Tristan Tzara, so the program's fourth hour has become a surreal Dadaist tone poem of old ladies yelling. Today's installment: Kathie Lee sleeps naked.

On the 110th hour of the Today show this morning, Kathie Lee got a little randy. She was talking about a specific kind of kiss, and felt compelled to demonstrate it on everyone around her.

It may have seemed for a time that Today fourth hour cohost Hoda Kotb was the drunk of the show. But Hoda has now launched a campaign against Kathie Lee, who's conveniently on vacation.

The fourth hour of the Today Show is when Kathie Lee Gifford unhinges her jaw and swallows up airtime by abusing co-host Hoda Kobt and displaying sexual frustration. Two clips after the jump.

On the Today show, Hoda and Kathie Lee took suggestions from Facebook friends. One was for Hoda to date Anderson Cooper. Awkward pause... "Interesting idea....," stifled laughter. They believe he is homosexual, you see.

This morning on Today's fourth hour, Kathie Lee Gifford found a new way to get a dig in at her co-host Hoda Kotb: playing the video clip we posted Friday documenting Hoda's on-air drinking habit.

Did we say Kathie Lee Gifford gets a Get Out of Defamer Free card last week? Well, she's probably cashed it in about a dozen times since—so time to pile on again!

Adrian Grenier and Jessica Stam hosted Scott Harrison's third annual Charity: Water benefit last night at the Metropolitan Pavillion. Attendees at the event included Richie Rich, Olivia Palermo, Whitney Port, Byrdie Bell, Andrew Saffir and Daniel Benedict, Rocco DiSpirito, Jenna Elfman, Emma Snowdon-Jones, Jamison Ernest, Cee-Lo, and models Larissa Bond and Masha Rudenko. [PMc, Wireimage, GoaG]

♦ People got Alex Rodriguez to open up about his relationship with Madonna. Or, you know, maybe not. The slugger claims that they're just "friends—that's it." He also says he's never been on a plane with her, despite the countless photos that clearly indicate otherwise. [People]
♦ Have Tea Leoni and David Duchovny reunited? Star reports they were spotted holding hands at a Tasti D-Lite on the Upper East Side and they've picked up a $7.5 million apartment in the East 70s. [Star]
♦ It looks like Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin may have buried the hatchet after Harvey publicly thanked Scott at the premiere of The Reader on Wednesday night. [P6]
♦ A London jury has found Boy George guilty of false imprisonment for having handcuffed a Norwegian male escort to a wall. [People]

The trundling disaster that is the Today Show's fourth hour—in which Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford pick nits out of each other's hair and talk about hot flashes—rumbled into Horny Town Station this morning. Crooner Harry Connick Jr. was on, promoting something or other, and the ladies just could not get enough of him. Flanking him on two sides they made awkward sex sandwich jokes, prompting Kathie Lee to call the Egyptian Kotb "rye bread." Oy. Then Kathie made a joke about Connick's man business and somewhere Jeanie Linders cackled with delight and I had a flashback to my first year out of college, spent old lady wrangling. Clip is above.

Kathie Lee Gifford, Cheyenne Jackson-certified bitch and vocally miserable co-host of the fourth hour of Today, was in rare form again this morning. Discussing a performance of Etta James's "At Last" by Beyoncé in the earlier, non-farm-league portion of the broadcast (and surrounded by half-empty wine bottles, as if that really bears mentioning), Green-Eyed Monster Gifford expanded her 20-foot demon wingspan before launching into her own version of the song. Co-host Hoda Kotb responded by giggling nervously, as if to say, "Yes, just like that, Kathie Lee, but—you know—less dried-out, desperate, and utterly soulless." Gifford then launched right into what she does best: complaining. "You thought there was action up above?" she segued into her gripe-of-the-minute. "Well, down below, in the anals of Rockefeller Center—her...guy wouldn't let me in!" Sasha Fierce—we don't know who your bodyguard is, but we think you owe him a performance bonus for keeping the backstage bowels Kathie Lee-free. [Today]

No explanation of the Twilight Phenomenon™ would likely be complete without such sizable insights as Kathie Lee Gifford's and the authoritative cultureklatsch at Fox and Friends. The latter group's ownership of the story — as evidenced by last Friday's extraordinary investigative study of "babes" headed to the multiplex in droves — continues today with a more think-y survey of how the chaste-vampire genre trumps the more occult flavor of the Harry Potter series, but over on TodayKathie Lee diclosed the real trick nudging Twilight toward box-office immortality: Teen girls are more into romance than sex. And those who aren't will be after the dressing-down delivered here. Failing the ready availability of another tween-friendly franchise, Hollywood would do well to bottle this and sell it.

We admit to having been somewhat flabbergasted to learn that holiday-album-pimping anti-Christ Kathie Lee Gifford had scored a plum gig hosting the new, completely essential fourth hour of The Today Show alongside Hoda Kotb. Credit where it's due, however—Gifford provides near-constant entertainment, mostly because she is vocally and visibly miserable 98% of the time. There was a classic moment on this year's Halloween episode, when she came out in a Big Bad Wolf costume that must have taken hours to put on. Noticing the younger, prettier Today girls were dressed as princesses, she launched into an angry tirade right in 30 Rock plaza, pointing to her and Meredith Vieira's horrifying Pinocchio costumes as proof that the show was "ageist and sexist." It was loud, awkward...and kind of spot-on.Today's hour provided so many awesome grumpy Kathie Lee moments, we were inspired to compile them into one misanthropic montage—edited by our video intern Daniel Caron. Within the span of one hour, she implies that the show is going to suck, complains about having to be PC about the holidays, suggests her husband is deaf, catches Cheyenne Jackson calling her a bitch, and makes a reference to "drying out" that suggests alcoholism or something much more gross. This is so awesome. We're firmly Team Kathie Lee. [Today]

We've heard of casual Fridays and we certainly treasure the last day of the work week as a time to let loose, but rarely have we seen both concepts mixed with such bizarre fervor as they were on this morning's Today show. After striking pay dirt with Marcia Brady's syphilis stories this month, producers dug up another, pre-TiVo relic: Jay Thomas. The actor (who played Carla's husband Eddie on Cheers) and his son John were on the show to discuss how the former gave the latter up for adoption twenty years ago. These days, though, John is the lead singer in a band, and in a bit of bald self-promotion, he stripped off his t-shirt and finished out the segment wearing a bra. As one does. Nice try, John, but you'll have to work a little harder to top the image of our potential next VP attempting to drown Elaine to win the daytime surreality sweepstakes.

We get a lot of emails every day, and often times we just don't have the time, energy, or patience to respond to them, let alone report them to you, dear readers. So here, on this sun-soaked Friday, let's take a moment after the jump to look at a few of these once lost missives who have now found a home here, in Glaring Omissions.

♦ Charges will not be filed against Shia LaBeouf in connection with his car accident in LA in July. He may still lose his license, though, for failing to submit to a blood-alcohol test after the crash. [E!]
♦ Lindsay Lohan is so scared of her dad that she may take out an order of protection against him. [P6]
♦ Last week it was rumored Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli had split up. Now it's rumored they're back together. [OK!]
♦ Robert De Niro is a giant pain to work with who makes "weird midnight phone calls." Or at least that's what Harvey Weinstein and Quentin Tarantino said in a taped phone conversation from 1997 that's just now been leaked. [P6]
♦ Julia Roberts left the Waverly Inn covered up in a pashmina, which means it's time for a fresh round of rumors that she's secretly pregnant. [The Sun]

• According to Nielsen, John McCain's acceptance speech at the RNC was watched by more people than Obama's speech last week. [TVWeek]