A writer wrote about Tiger Woods' penis! Some chick from The Bachelor totally cheated on The Bachelor! J-Lo in a catsuit! David Paterson's awesome rapper friends! Adrian Grenier isn't ugly! OR IS HE?! Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Benson and Stabler and Griffin, hell yes! Kathy Griffin appeared on The Wendy Williams Show to plug her upcoming appearance on Law and Order: SVU. She spills that the episode will have her making out with Mariska Hargitay!

Last night was the second season premiere of Logo's drag queen Project Runway/Top Model hybrid, and the first time I ever did watch it. And girl? I am just not sure what the helllll to say about it.

Arpad "Arki" Busson sneaking out of ex-fiancée Uma Thurman's Village townhouse yesterday, shortly before Thurman made her exit as well ... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie running errands in Midtown during the day and heading into Alto on Madison Avenue for dinner ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment building ... Kelly Ripa getting in a cab with her son ... Kathy Griffin shooting scenes for Law & Order: SVU with Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay ... Jessica Szohr walking to the set of Gossip Girl at Silvercup Studios in Queens ... Jessica and Ashlee Simpson going to dinner last night ... Katharine McPhee arriving at her hotel ... and Jersey Shore's Snooki and J-Woww posing for pics in the Flatiron District.

Julianne Moore standing on a subway platform waiting for a downtown train ... a spiffy-looking Kiefer Sutherland walking in SoHo ... Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Meloni filming scenes for Law & Order: SVU in Murray Hill ... Sarah Jessica Parker arriving at her townhouse in the West Village ... Teri Hatcher posing for photographers outside the Late Show with David Letterman in Midtown ... Ashlee Simpson walking to her apartment downtown, and later clowning around with husband Pete Wentz by walking in Union Square wearing Halloween masks.

• Prepare to enter the third dimension. ESPN plans to launch a 3D channel in June. And Discovery, Imax and Sony are teaming up on a 3D channel, too.
• Has Kathy Griffin been banned from CNN following her risqué performance alongside Anderson Cooper on New Year's Eve? Maybe yes, maybe no.
• Newsday is cutting pay and vacations for 1,100 of its employees. [NYP]
• Apple's buzzed-about tablet device comes out in March. [WSJ]
• Google's buzzed-about mobile phone/iPhone ripoff debuted today. [BN]
• You'll be relieved to hear that the New York Times has no plans to follow in Kim Kardashian's footsteps and begin sticking ads in its tweets. [AdAge]
• Coming soon: Publicist Kelly Cutrone's TV show and self-help book. [WWD]
• Nielsen closed Kirkus Reviews last week, but it may now have a savior. [NYT]
• Conveyor of Love, the new reality show on ABC that combines dating and the latest in baggage handling technology, is off to a solid start. [Wrap]
• Will Avatar turn out to be the biggest movie ever? Maybe! [MTV]

CNN decided it was going to enlist Kathy Griffin, Lance Bass, and Anderson Cooper to give them a New Year's Eve as big and sparkly as the crystal monstrosity in Times Square. They got what they wanted, which they hated.

Watching CNN's New Year's Eve with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin has almost been reduced to a countdown to when Kathy says something inappropriate. This year she deliberately has a little trouble with the pronunciation of Balloon Boy's first name.

The only thing that'd be less predictable than this is if she'd actually taken a bump while doing the weather ("It's SNOWAAAANG!"). But: Kathy Griffin provided YouTube gold ringing in the new year with Anderson Cooper on CNN. Observe:

The eight-guidos-in-a-house reality show is MTV's biggest hit in years, but this year Christmas and New Year's Eves land on the show's Thursday night slot. Should they air a show no one will watch or risk further cast overexposure?

CNN Exec.1: Since our usual audience of crotchety senior citizens will be asleep, how will we attract viewers for the NYE countdown? CNN Exec.2: I know, let's get Anderson to call some of his cool gay friends, for a party.

Today at Gawker.TV, Whoopi Goldberg loves her weed, Kathy Griffin shows us her lady-parts, Harvey Levin's craptastic TMZ show, Teen Mom will scare your teenager out of ever having sex, and the most brutal figure skating falls we've seen.

Our eyes! Last night, Kathy Griffin visited Craig Ferguson's show and gave us all an undesirable holiday treat: her crotch, sans panties. CBS made sure to censor the crap out of her nether-regions, but somehow we're still scarred.

Sure, reality TV has been around longer, but starting in 2000, it really hit the big time. Everyone professes to hate it, but this cheap, tawdry programming has become an easy staple, and it's changing every minute.

Break out the Cristal. Mr. Sean Combs turns 40 today. Perhaps he'll get together later to celebrate with Bethenny Frankel of the Real Housewives of New York: She's turning 39. Others blowing out candles today: Matthew McConaughey is turning 40. Kathy Griffin is turning 49. Laura Bush is 63. Survivor host Jeff Probst turns 47. Author Charles Frazier is turning 59. Playwright Jon Robin Baitz is 48. Literary agent Andrew Wylie is turning 62. Publishing industry honcho Jonathan Galassi is 60. Anne Sweeney, the president of Disney/ABC president, is turning 51. Ralph Macchio of Karate Kid fame is 48. And Trishelle from The Real World is 30.

• Friends worry Jessica Simpson is "at the lowest point of her life" now that she's lost her beloved dog, Daisy. Others say she's coping "better than her friends may realize." Either way, we she's probably feeling much better now that her friends are sharing her innermost feelings with the tabloids. [People]
• The man suspected of breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house wasn't a complete stranger: The two reportedly hung out on the set of her film Labor Pains last year. The girl's not the best judge of character, as you've probably realized by now. [TMZ]
• The drugs that were prescribed to Anna Nicole Smith amounted to "pharmaceutical suicide," according to newly unsealed court documents that were obtained by the LA Times. Most disturbing: The documents also reveal that both of Anna Nicole's doctors "transgressed professional boundaries by having sexual contact with their famous patient." [LAT]
• Michelle Obama gave Barack the silent treatment at points during his campaign for president because she was pissed about all the women throwing themselves at him, according to a new book. There was even a hot young campaign aide who was mysteriously "relocated" after developing a close relationship with the President. [NYDN, P6]
• Did you catch President Obama's appearance on Letterman last night? [MTV]

The PR push for Johnston's article in Vanity Fair started yesterday and people are already hating America's babydaddy and rooting for Sarah Palin. But her reality-television-turned-politics spectacle was getting stale and nothing reinvigorates an aging soap like a good rivalry.

After saying he'd pose naked for the right price, Unzipped magazine (the gay answer to Playboy) has offered to pay America's babydady Levi Johnston to show off what's in his Levis. And he just might do it.

Last night Levi Johnston appeared on masturbatory Bravo exec and host Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live. Yeah, he's down with the gays. He better be, because in 10 years, he'll be a washed-up former pretty boy on VH1.

Unless you've been squatting in a partially-developed Williamsburg condo building, surely you've heard the news of the torrid Levi Johnston/Kathy Griffin affair currently taking the nation by storm. Tonight, Kathy and Levi dished on their hot Teen Choice Awards date.