Courtney Love offers to "take a metal straw" to Kurt Cobain's remains. Charlie Sheen enters the t-shirt business. Gilbert Gottfried regrets his tsunami jokes. Joe Jonas swears he's not gay. Wednesday gossip communes with the beyond.

Lindsay Lohan arrived in court today 35 minutes late and in a tight tan mini-dress. (Is that leather?) At the hearing, she rejected a plea deal for the felony grand theft of a $2500 necklace. This means Lindsay is headed to trial! A whole trial's worth of LiLo court outfits! Think of the possibilities. (If you're thinking about going into the paparazzi business, now is a good time.) First, however, the court will convene on April 22 for a preliminary hearing where the prosecution will present evidence.

In a cleavage-baring top and chunky jewelry, Lindsay Lohan reported to court today court for the grand theft of a $2000 necklace. Per usual, the appearance was livestreamed on TMZ. The judge announced that if Lindsay Lohan accepts a plea bargain—as her lawyer has said she'd like to do—it will have to include jail time. "If you plead in front of me, you are going to jail, period. If the case settles here, you will go to jail," Judge Keith Schwartz said. Worrying about whether the ruined starlet would become a "repeat offender," he asked for "additional psychological information" and made his lack of interest in LiLo's celebrity clear: