Courtney Love offers to "take a metal straw" to Kurt Cobain's remains. Charlie Sheen enters the t-shirt business. Gilbert Gottfried regrets his tsunami jokes. Joe Jonas swears he's not gay. Wednesday gossip communes with the beyond.

  • Neil Strauss, a rock journalist whose hobby is clubbing women over the head and dragging them back to his leopard-print lair of bow-chicka-bow-wow, says Courtney Love wanted to snort Kurt Cobain's ashes with him, after Neil interviewed Courtney for his new book:

  • The place was Courtney Love's house in Los Angeles. The time was very late. The moment was when she leaped off her bed and suddenly said…

  • COURTNEY LOVE: Say hi to Kurt.

  • She walks to a dresser, pulls open a drawer, and removes a square-shaped tin. She removes the lid, revealing a plastic bag full of white ashes. A faint smell of jasmine emanates from the tin.

  • LOVE: Too bad you don't do coke. Otherwise I'd suggest taking a metal straw to it.

  • STRAUSS: Yeah, I don't think that would be the right thing to do.

  • LOVE: I'd love to though.

  • The rest of his literary legacy may suck, but Neil Strauss' interviews are pretty good. He says Courtney "was serious" about snorting Kurt. Though the whole thing seems like an impulsive stunt, I don't doubt that Courtney was being genuine when she said she'd "love to." I do, however, suspect she's too self-conscious and aware of her critics to carry through. If the mood were right, though... [Radar, image via Flynet]
  • Joe Jonas on rumors that he is gay: "There's nothing wrong with being gay, but I'm not." [Details]

Charlie Sheen sells T-shirts now. Sample slogan: "I'm not bipolar I'm winning." [@CharlieSheen, CharlieSheen.com]

  • Vanessa Hudgens is "deeply upset and angered" over her latest naked picture release, which includes half a dozen pictures of her naked, kissing a girl, and splaying her labia. Last time, she sued the website the posted the pictures after obtaining them with "unknown methods." (Euphemism for "you bought that shit from a thief"?) This time, she's getting the police involved. According to Vanessa's lawyer, all of her naked photos over the years came from one giant cache of naked pictures, and whoever has them has partitioned them and is releasing them "over a long period of time," possibly timed to Vanessa's movies. (Billboards for Sucker Punch just went up.) [TMZ, TMZ]
  • Gilbert Gottfried rather regrets telling tsunami jokes on Twitter. (Mostly because they got him fired from his job as the voice of the Aflac duck.) He tweeted a "sincere" apology yesterday, then went back to tweeting jokes about the size of his penis. [@RealGilbert]

Eminem's 15-year-old daughter Hailie Mathers is on Twitter and is surprisingly sweet: "For every minute of anger you lose sixty seconds of happiness. So smile big and enjoy every minute of life!" She likes to tweet affirmations and pictures of her lipgloss with sparkly Blingee effects. Her Twitter handle: @Angry_Blonde [@Angry_Blonde, Popeater]

  • Courteney Cox on estranged husband David Arquette blabbing about their sex life on Howard Stern's radio show: "You can't really get mad at David because he's not a malicious person. He was dealing with things the best way he could." For the most part, she and David were "extremely successful at marriage. If it doesn't work out, I will have huge waves of pain." [Bazaar]
  • Tina Fey on being a working mom in Hollywood: "Any time you talk about being a working mother and you complain about it in any way, people eat your face. I remember reading some interview where Gwyneth Paltrow said something like, 'I missed my kids on the set one day and I was crying.' And I thought, Yeah, I've totally done that. But on the Web site where I read it there were these furious comments. 'But you're a movie star!' Yes, it's much worse for a mom serving in Afghanistan. Of course. But there's just no forgiveness." Silly Tina. Gwyneth's followers would never eat her face, it's not macrobiotic. [InStyle via People]
  • Suge Knight got into a fistfight at a casino in Las Vegas. He didn't land a single punch, but did scream, "I can take you!" at a man half his size, whom he failed to beat up. There is video. [TMZ]