The California man who claimed he’d discovered a deep-fried rat in his three-piece chicken last week finally agreed to turn the unknown-substance-tender over to the company, and the Col. Sanders administration released the results of a DNA test Monday. Result: the rat was—as KFC had asserted in an amateurish Chart Brut—actually made of chicken.

Kentucky Fried Chicken might as well be called Kentucky Fried Breading, because that is clearly the only reason to eat there. But the chicken, bland though it may be, is more important than it seems, because breading on a rat just tastes “nasty.” That’s according to a man who says he accidentally tried it.

There is, as it turns out, something more mortifying than watching R-rated sex scenes with your family.

Close your eyes and imagine: chicken entrails blended and stuffed into a fleshy, pill-shaped sac, then infused with a savory cheese-inspired paste. Wrap that nuclear taste missile in a slab of breaded poultry, top it with a drizzle of deli mustard, and launch it careening toward your own gaping maw. Do you like it? You've just been Doubled Down, Dog, courtesy of KFC.

The family of 3-year-old Victoria Wilcher, who was allegedly asked to leave a KFC restaurant because her face—damaged in a pitbull attack—was scaring customers, says it has turned down KFC's donation of $30,000.

Americans spend close to $2 billion a day dining out, and most of that money ain't being spent at The Four Seasons, if you know what we mean. (It is being spent on cheap garbage food.) Heartbreakingly, Americans now say they loathe the fast food chains to which they've pledged their lives.

Jeffrey Coley, 50, a former employee of Chick-fil-A, is accused of holding up a KFC drive-thru in Rock Hill, S.C. and speeding away with the cash register drawer containing $516.02. A day later and after a bit of a car chase, Coley was arrested by police in his Plymouth Neon, where the cash drawer was sitting on the seat with a little less than a gram of methamphetamine.

A he-said, she-said, KFC-said story for the ages: the family of Victoria Wilcher—the three-year old girl who was mauled by pit bulls and then allegedly kicked out of a Kentucky Fried Chicken—says the story is true, despite a long investigation revealing that Victoria was almost certainly never asked to leave the KFC.

KFC donated $30,000 to the family of three-year-old Victoria Wilcher after they claimed an employee at a store in Jackson, Miss. asked them to leave because Victoria's scars—leftover from an attack by her grandfather's pit bulls—were scaring customers. But according to a new report in the Laurel Leader-Call, the whole thing was a hoax and never happened.

KFC has issued a $30,000 apology to the family of a 3-year-old Mississippi girl who was asked to leave one of their restaurants because her scarred face was "disrupting our customers."

A KFC employee in the UK was recently suspended after a post on Facebook alleged that she added a little dash of her to a recent order.

Poppy, of Bournemouth, England has officially been christened the world's oldest living cat at the spry age of 24, or 114 in human years. Her secret to being forever young? Oh, just lots of water and portion control. And chicken. Kitchen-fresh only:

Is KFC's Double Down, a food-like item bookended by two slabs of K-Fried C and zero slices of bread, actually a sandwich? The correct answer is: Who cares? You still shouldn't get a tattoo of it.

Is KFC's recently revived Double Down even actually a sandwich? Like, legally? Reasonable people can disagree. Except in Massachusetts.

In recognition of America's insatiable craving for chicken, chicken-like food products, and Frankenfoods, KFC is resurrecting its stomach-turning bunless chicken sandwich, the Double Down. The monster was first introduced in 2010, but its availability in the U.S. has been limited over the past few years.

The corsages come from a Louisville, Kentucky florist, cost $20, and contain a $5 gift card so you can customize your corsage with Original Recipe, Extra Crispy, or Kentucky Grilled Chicken.

This week, Arlington, Texas will get the thing it most desperately needs: a new greasy fast food chicken restaurant. But this greasy fast food chicken restaurant marks the launch of a greasy fast food chicken restaurant war.

KFC is the biggest US fast food chain in China. In the past year, however, sales have fallen sharply. Why oh why have the Chinese forsaken our delicious poisonous fried chicken?

This animated GIF was posted to Reddit just a couple of hours ago, but it's already blasted its way to the top of the front page.

It's not every day that you return home to find a seven-foot bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken sitting outside your front door. But that's exactly what happened to Waynesboro, Georgia resident Aleena Headrick.