As Holden Caulfield once said—and I'm approximating here—"You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and and fuck with the mason jar right under your little kitten nose!!!"

Super Smash Bros. was just released for WiiU yesterday, but this kitten already knows how to hesitantly touch its little paw to the screen every so often.

Taylor Swift, the single girl who's just like you (except impossibly photogenic and a multimillionaire), has a new kitten. She named the cat Olivia Benson after her best friend, a fictional sex crimes detective from Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

Tulip and Daisy are kittens up for adoption in Arlington, Va. When someone holds something above their heads and outside of the camera frame, they seem quite convinced of the philosophical stand taken by DJ Snake and Lil' Jon: "Turn down for what?" If you are unfamiliar with what "turning down" is, Urban Dictionary summarizes beautifully:

Ralphee the kitten has a neurological condition called feline cerebellar hypoplasia, which impairs her fine motor skills and ability to walk, making her what's affectionately known as a "wobbly cat." Fortunately, her buddy Max the cattle dog is always there to look out for her.

Two kittens, so tiny and new that their umbilical cords were still attached, are recovering at the Humane Society after they were accidentally sealed in a box and shipped more than 120 miles by truck.

Republican New York mayoral nominee Joe Lhota has brought a new, urgent issue to the fore in the race to be the next chief executive of the city: Where do the candidates stand on the Nicaraguan civil war of the 1980s?

Subway kittens! The subway shark! All truly important news items come in threes, so we're due for one more animal to make headlines on New York mass transit. What's it going to be? Llama? Tiger (yes, please)? Peacock? Red-tailed hawk? Platypus? (Rats don't count; rats are part of the normal subway ecosystem.) Share your picks, hopes, and personal nature tales in the discussion below.

Two kittens, living out an urban/feline version of The Tale of Peter Rabbit, took a Subway Adventure earlier today and caused the MTA to halt subways on the B and Q lines for an hour.

The week started out with a police blotter item about a girl being chased around a Colorado ski resort by mushroom-hungry giraffes, so it only stands to reason that it should end with a police blotter item about a Wisconsin Rapids woman who called the cops to complain that her neighbor's kittens "were having sex in her yard."

Police and authorities from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals for Monterey County found 113 dead kittens inside an apartment in Seaside, California. Another 57 sick cats were found in a house nearby, after officials received a tip that some cats were moved there prior to the inspection.

Well, folks, the headline pretty much says it all... here's 78 seconds of a really, really, really sleepy cat begrudgingly being woken up by its owners (who want to assure you that it's not drugged—or dead!—just sleepy).

Try as it might to hear the entire song, this adorable baby kitty can't seem to keep its eyes open.

I do not know the rationale behind this mysterious Japanese TV show where dozens of kittens are set loose in a room full of casserole dishes in which they must curl up and sleep. I do not know if the rationale matters.

Here's a video of an adorable little kitty cat who smells food. So, what else is it to do than to sit patiently like a human, hoping that a bite falls its way? Well, besides looking *so* cute, that is.

While most of America was glued to Fox for the duration of the night, there were others of us that spent the evening watching cute little puppies playing on a fake football field. Not that we're complaining!

The only thing cuter than one kitten entranced by a feather is five kittens entranced by a feather.

Did you know that there's an old VHS called From Cats to Kittens, starring a creepy cat lady named Ann M. Childers? Well, now you do! Here's a re-edit of the footage—of weirdly comprehensive cat facts—by Rich Juzwiak.

Here's a cat video to trump all other cat videos (until the next great cat video, at least). Watch as the kitten, Caro, attempts to extract the bigger cat, Miho, from a plastic fortress. Caro just wants to play!

If you're familiar with Rich Juzwiak's blog, fourfour, then you undoubtedly know about his "weirdest cat in the world," Winston (catch up here). But did you know that Juzwiak has another cat, Rudy, who really likes to guard socks?