Robert Pattinson whines about not getting more hot chicks, Brad Pitt is a joint-rolling artist, Kate Major says boning Jon Gosselin was "amazing," Mariah Carey disses the Grammys, Alicia Silverstone gets naked and David Cook is dating an older woman.
Two teenage celebrities might be getting married, and therefore: doing it. Robert Pattinson's life is invaded by aliens. Paula wants back on Idol, and I want back in the womb. Madonna, Sinatra, Spears, Spacey. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup:
Harry Potter and Gossip Girl finally meet in the middle, Jon Gosselin wants to capitalize on the worst fashion trend in the History of the Universe, Robert Pattinson's good in bed, Jim Carry's a scary grandparent, and celebrity DUI time!
Twilight's Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are pregnant, Angelina Jolie and David Beckham are starring in an Armani ad together, Britney's sporting a new "spare tire," Michael Bay made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari and Joyce DeWitt got a DUI.
• Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder, Usher, Lionel Richie, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson, John Mayer, and a truck full of elephants (left) will all on hand for the Michael Jackson's memorial service in LA later today. Debbie Rowe and Elizabeth Taylor will not be there, however. [Reuters, NYDN, People, Us]
• Several ladies from the Real Housewives of New York are demanding more cash before signing up for another season of the show. In addition to "six-figure deals," they're asking for clothing, hair and makeup allowances and "a promised amount of screen time." You're shocked by this, we're sure. [NYDN]
• In other Housewives news, it looks like LuAnn de Lesseps may be reuniting with her estranged husband, and Bethenny Frankel is engaged. [P6, Us]
• Lindsay Lohan is stirring up a bit of trouble in Paris. Apparently she's been in discussions with Emanuel Ungaro about signing on as a "creative consultant," although Ungaro's Esteban Cortazar is threatening to walk if that happens. [P6]
• An "insider" says a "fragile" Britney Spears doesn't really want to be on tour, but her dad has been forcing her into it. [MSNBC]
• Christie Brinkley says she has no plans to get married again and doesn't really know why anyone would bother getting married, but does still believe in "true love," if that's any consolation. [Us]
• Amy Winehouse's "last-ditch" plan to sober up isn't going so well. Instead of six shots of tequila for breakfast, she now settles for two. [DM]
Kelly Bensimon's a glutton for punishment, thespian Whitney Port's nuanced acting critiques, two babies, two 90s stars, a Clinton house (hunting) party, and some Communist dick is always just some Communist dick: presenting your Sunday morning gossip roundup.
Marc Jacobs has several reasons to celebrate today. In addition to his recent engagement, he'll also be blowing out 46 candles on his birthday cake today. Others marking the big day: NBC chief Jeff Zucker is 44. Hugh Hefner turns 83. Cynthia Nixon is 43. Leighton Meester is turning 23. Albert Hammond Jr. is turning 29. Joe Scarborough is 46. Porn queen Jenna Jameson is 35. Dennis Quaid turns 55. Fashion designer Martin Margiela is 52. Restaurateur Taavo Somer turns 36. Twilight actress Kristen Stewart is 19. Jesse McCartney turns 22. America's Next Top Model winner Yoanna House is 29. And former model-turned-ANTM judge Paulina Porizkova is 44.
The marketing powers behind Twilight on Monday gave what their adoring fans at MTV have apparently craved for more than two months now: Dolls. For, like, another movie or something.
1/18 — Flying into Salt Lake outta LAX: Mr. Sundance himself STEVEN SODERBERGH and wife JULES ASNER (ahh the pre-Seacrest, E! glory years), and tokin', smokin', vampin', Joan Jettin' Twilight star KRISTEN STEWART.
Where most media have moved on from courting Twilight fans, MTV has one remaining drop of profit to wring from the condescension flood. To wit, Twilight
As hinted at two weeks ago and confirmed Sunday, director Catherine Hardwicke is done with the Twilight franchise, leaving a giant "Help Wanted" sign around the blockbuster's swoony, more wolfy sequel New Moon barely a year before its studio hopes to rush it into theaters. No problem, though — after a helpful consultation with Defamer HR, producers should be able to lock up a qualified helmer by the end of the business day.
We make no guarantees as to the authenticity of the blurry Facebook screencaps to land in our inbox this morning, allegedly belonging to sumptuously becoiffed Twilight dreamcake Robert Pattinson, working under the alias "Randle Patrick McMurphy." (Ring any bells? 10th grade English students? Anyone? Anyone?) In one exchange, he laments the life of a newly minted Hollywood It-pire ("everybody are such tossers. the bottle does me fine. the girls in this town are quite odd, you know...") and responds to a query of "get Kristen yet?" with a bloodless, cad-like, "you know I did. You're the one person I've told this to but, she wants me more than that twat of a bf that stalks her every move around me."
[Update: The purported Pattinson pen-pal, Ben Coles, called us to deny that he was speaking with the Twilight star. Read more from Coles here.] Swirling around the release of Twilight, the terrible but terribly successful vampire romance movie, were rumors of a hookup between stars Kristen Stewart and heartthrob Robert Pattinson. This sounded like so much publicity fodder for the film's teenage target demos. This might be more of the same: A tipster forwarded the following screenshots, purportedly of a Pattinson Facebook account under the alias of Randle Patrick McMurphy (Jack Nicholson's character in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest).
We weren't kidding yesterday when we expressed relief at teen-sex romp The Reader having supplanted Twilight as the movies' hottest new youth movement. Still, after Twilight's massive 62% box-office plunge in its second week of release, and with the only the random, pot-gorging snapshot of Kristen Stewart to replace that long-running plague of EW covers, we can't help our sniffling, lonely-ish concern at the edge of the black hole where Twilight used to be. But thankfully, we've found the one place in the world where the vampire romance remains a holdover — and how!
