Well-meaning people and confused people keep saying or typing the phrase “All Lives Matter.” Then they are surprised that other people get angry about it.

This notion of “phrases that are worse than meaningless”—let’s discuss it.

Koko, the gorilla who uses sign language, is capable of discussing almost anything that human beings might want to see Koko discuss. If you enjoyed the video that’s going around the internet in which Koko shares her thoughts on the global climate-change summit, you’ll definitely be wowed by her review of Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. We couldn’t have put it better ourselves!

Disgraced wrestling star Hulk Hogan went on Good Morning America this morning to defend himself following the release last month of leaked transcripts of a video in which he repeatedly referred to “fucking niggers” and admitted that he’s a “racist, to a point.” “I’m not a racist,” he told ABC News’ Amy Robach. “I never should have said that. It was wrong.”

If the data visualization below is to believed, pop music of the 2010s is just as vulgar and nihilistic as your stodgy parents say it is: the decade's most distinctive musical words are evidently "we," "yeah," "fuck," "hell," and "die."

Is the CIA physically capable of speaking the truth about its torture program? Not under conventional interrogation. About 20 minutes into CIA director John Brennan's somber-squirrel performance in his press conference yesterday, a reporter for the Associated Press asked him a pointed question: "Do you agree with President Obama's statement that the CIA, in common parlance, tortured detainees?"

Boston magazine has a lovely summary of a Twitter incident from last week, in which someone responded to an MBTA train delay announcement by attacking the transit agency's choice of words. The T had written:

There's a graph that's been going around this week, showing how Americans have gotten more foul-mouthed over the past quarter-century or so:

The Wall Street Journal warns of "The Terrorist Army Marching on Baghdad." Once it's an army, can you still call it "terrorist?" Either armies are different from terrorists, or all armies are terrorists. Consistency, please. Arguments on this point are welcome.

Quin Hillyer is a white male conservative who writes for National Review. So? Does he not have the same rights as anyone else? The right to call a woman a slut, and to deploy racial slurs as he deems necessary?

Is KFC's recently revived Double Down even actually a sandwich? Like, legally? Reasonable people can disagree. Except in Massachusetts.

Even if you are a famous author published by a top publishing house and celebrated in rarefied literary circles, you will never write anything better than the description of a self-published author's book.

This week's New Yorker contains an essay, currently available in the print edition only, by Roger Angell, about what his life is like at the age of 93. It is full of well-wrought observations about loss and mortality and sex and the abundance of existence but it also keeps an eye on the contemporary, as in this passage:

Ever wanted to know how to say a word in every European language? Thanks to this cool Google Translate/map mash-up, you can learn your geography and your languages at the same time.

problematic (noun, adjective) You're at work, looking at the Internet instead of doing tasks related to your employment. Something is bothering you! Did a celebrity comment on the issue of race? What is up with Katy Perry being so old? Why is "everyone" on Twitter mentioning a #longread that just didn't do anything for you? Welcome to the world of things that are problematic—meaning, things that don't concern you at all, as opposed to actual problems such as your parking tickets, student loans, self-diagnosed nutritional disorders and loser brother who wants to sleep on your sofa while he "looks for a job."

selfie: (noun) Nobody has any idea how to take a photograph of another person. Or, everyone hates you. What else explains the badly lit and poorly focused horror mugshots your so-called friends produce when pointing their phones at you? Did they try to zoom in on the first pimple you've had in three years, or are they just fundamentally inept at life? Is it absurd to think a person might use the simple photo-editing tools on every phone to change your eyes from demonic-idiot red to their actual color, or to maybe remove that sesame seed stuck between your front teeth? The selfie is your only shot at ever having a decent shot of yourself. Don't be embarrassed. Take as many pictures as it takes to get one of your beautiful face, instead of your flabby arm that somehow got all the light from the flash.

Here is a man who has wisely invested $75,000 of his own money into developing a symbol to represent the word "the." All that cash got him a symbol that basically looks like an uppercase "T" and a lowercase "h" smashed together. Smart.

The tragic shooting death of Trayvon Martin continues to be one of America's richest sources of tangentially-related arguments. The latest: Is "cracker" a "racial" term? The correct answer: Shut up, cracker.

The word "derp" appeared today on the websites of Business Insider, New York Magazine, and The New York Times—in a post by Nobel prize-winning economist Paul Krugman. This is a good sign that we should stop using it.

Every December, the Swedish Language Council (a government-funded group that regulates the Swedish language) releases a list of new words that have entered everyday speech but do not appear in any dictionary.