Word Terrorism: Black Friday Is Problematic For the Nuclear Option
problematic (noun, adjective) You're at work, looking at the Internet instead of doing tasks related to your employment. Something is bothering you! Did a celebrity comment on the issue of race? What is up with Katy Perry being so old? Why is "everyone" on Twitter mentioning a #longread that just didn't do anything for you? Welcome to the world of things that are problematic—meaning, things that don't concern you at all, as opposed to actual problems such as your parking tickets, student loans, self-diagnosed nutritional disorders and loser brother who wants to sleep on your sofa while he "looks for a job."
nuclear option (noun) Anything going on with the U.S. Congress, in Washington? Probably! But how does the concerned citizen know when there's something important happening, instead of the usual jabbering idiots stuffing their pockets with cocaine and other bribes? Keep alert for wildly exaggerated hyperbole such as the nuclear option, which rarely has anything to do with nuclear energy, nuclear science in general, or especially nuclear missile strikes. In current news reports, nuclear option apparently refers to the percentage of senators required to approve the appointment of various public officials, and has nothing to do with international agreements regarding Iran's nuclear weapons program.
Black Friday (noun) That thing you sort of want to buy, because you saw a dozen commercials about it, last night? It's going to be on sale the Friday after Thanksgiving! Might as well buy one for your spouse or sibling, too! After all, it's on sale. Try not to think about how the same thing will be sold at a much, much deeper discount a year from now, when you're still paying off the balance on your maxed-out credit card.
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