Carey Hal Dyess, 73, drove around the Arizona town of Yuma, methodically shooting and killing his ex-wife, her divorce lawyer, and three others before killing himself. The lawyer, Jerry Shelley, was killed while packing his office. Today was retirement day.

Like most people, we miss HBO's fantastic cop show The Wire a great deal. So we were heartened to hear that Attorney General Eric Holder has put the full weight of the Justice Department behind our cause:

Despite being home to the sexiest national park (Arches) and the sexiest salt water lake (Great Salt Lake), Utah doesn't want you to think of it as a sexy state. And so, in an attempt to make it easier for police to arrest prostitutes, the state has gone ahead and outlawed acting sexy altogether.

In a landslide vote yesterday, the Swiss decided to keep in place a 1941 law that allows assisted suicide, as well "suicide tourism" for foreigners. Conservatives and evangelical religious figures in the country tried to have the practice banned through a referendum. Liberal and even some right wing parties opposed the ban.

Did you know that it's a crime to "noodle" a catfish in Texas? Oh, you don't know about noodlin'? Also called "hogging" or "grabbing," it's when you reach your hand into an underwater hole, jam your fist into a catfish's throat, pull the sombitch out of the water and then do whatever it is you do after catching a fish with your bare hands. The crime is currently a misdemeanor in Texas, and could come with as much as a $500 fine. But that could soon change.

A very important bill landed on Texas Governor Rick Perry's desk yesterday — one that would make it a a crime to lie about the size of a fish caught in a freshwater or saltwater tournament. Apparently this is a widespread problem in the Semiautonomous Region of Texas, and one that has lately rocked the world of high-stakes professional angling.

Florida's state legislature passed a bill this week outlawing bestiality. The bill was introduced in 2008 after a notorious case involving a pet goat. Today in Florida every person with a bestiality fetish is going: Wait, it was legal!?

Of course it's San Francisco — the same city that banned Happy Meals, plastic bags, tasering kids, sitting on the sidewalk and fun in general — that might vote on banning male circumcision in November. A collection of "intactivists" (ha, good one) proposing a ban submitted over 12,000 signatures to the city's Election Board yesterday, with 7,168 verified signatures required for the bill to go to a vote. They should know if the signatures are legit within a month.

The Department of Transportation is facing some big issues in the friendly skies these days, like sleeping air traffic controllers and the safety of First Lady Michelle Obama. But one issue stands apart: your right to eat nuts on an airplane.

Lawmakers in Iran have proposed a bill that would make it illegal to own dogs because they're filthy and gross, according to a new report in Time. A leading cleric in the past has publicly denounced "short-legged" and "holdable" canines, and, if the law passes, the government could soon begin confiscating dogs from their owners. But there's more to it than just trying to keep the country's streets clean:

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer has finally discovered a law too stupid for her own, stupid state! Namely, the "Guns on Campus Bill," which she vetoed because it was "very sloppily written and drafted." And! She vetoed the "birther bill"!

Georgia's tough anti-illegal immigration legislation — based on the controversial bill passed in Arizona past last year, currently tangled up in federal court — now needs only a signature from Republican Gov. Nathan Deal to become law.

Leave it to Big Government to take all the fun out of sporting in Alaska. Last week, the state's Department of Fish and Game proposed banning the use of tasers on wild animals — such as moose and grizzlies — after "media attention" shed light on what some fear is a rising problem. One issue that could arise, according to the Fish and Game Department's "Taser expert," biologist Larry Lewis:

If you're unfortunate enough to live in meth country — basically south of the Mason-Dixon Line, and across the Midwest all the way to Riverside County — soon you might be screwed if you get a cold or your allergies act up.

The Texas House has passed a bill requiring voters to bring ID to polling places. Which is great! If your aim is to surpress minority and low-income voters, without even addressing the problem you made up as an excuse.

South Dakota's governor signed a law yesterday requiring women to wait 72 hours after seeing a doctor to get an abortion. By contrast, the 48-hour waiting period to buy a handgun was repealed two years ago.

Right now, tweens in New Jersey who send "suggestive photos" to their "bffs" can be prosecuted as sex offenders. And even though this makes perfect sense, and is a productive way for the state to teach adolescents that the expression of sexuality is a deeply harmful thing, pervert lawmakers are attempting to stop it with a new bill. Yes, New Jersey may soon be the Amsterdam of sexting:

Republican Arizona state senator Scott Bundgaard avoided a night in jail because of a law which grants lawmakers immunity while the legislature is in session. He and his girlfriend, Aubry Ballard, got in a fight in their car on the side of the road after a "Dancing with the Stars" fundraiser last weekend. According to Bundgaard, Ballard got upset after accusing him of "inappropriately touching" his partner in the event. Cops showed up and found marks suggesting violence on both Bundgaard and Ballard, but only arrested Ballard. Bungaard got to use his official state legislature Get Out of Jail Free card.

Worried about the ever-encroaching menace of Muslims practicing their religion? You may want to move to Tennessee, where State Sen. Bill Ketron (pictured) and state Rep. Judd Matheny are introducing a bill that would "make following the Islamic code known as Shariah law a felony, punishable by 15 years in jail." Nashville-based Imam Mohamed Ahmed wonders:

Mayor Mike said yesterday that the NYPD won't be used to enforce the city's new ban on smoking at public beaches and in parks. So who will be monitoring the air quality of New York's public spaces? The concerned citizens of New York, that's who!