Michael Mineo, the Brooklyn man who says cops sodomized him with a baton, saw the officers acquitted on criminal charges in February. Now, Mineo's lost most of his civil suit too (one claim's still pending). Sorry; rules are rules.

In your paradigm-shifting Tuesday media column: Conde Nast dumbs down, Lara Logan dumbs up, Dave Weigel lands a part-time job, London reporters get paid by the cops, and Glenn Beck has sold quite a few books.

The California law firm that sued Facebook and Zynga over scammy gaming ads is setting its sights on Apple, investigating a possible class action over reception problems with the new iPhone.

Chess champ Bobby Fischer's body will be exhumed in Iceland to resolve a paternity suit.

Hillary Clinton very casually tells an Ecuadorian television interviewer that the "Justice Department, under [Obama's] direction, will be bringing a lawsuit against" Arizona's immigration law. This is a strange way to break huge news! Maybe she lies? [via Ben Smith]

In your odd Tuesday media column: a NYT Magazine freelancer's desperately seeking Wikipedia help, Eliot Spitzer's coming to CNN, an age bias suit against a NYC TV station, and Mike Bloomberg saves the media, no problem.

Nightlife blogger Steve Lewis has been sued after accusing a club owner of harassing waitresses.

A rare bit of (mostly) good news for the media: libel lawsuits in America have nearly disappeared. Newspapers are now getting their revenge, by suing the entire blogosphere unto ruination (they hope!).

Hottie banker Debrahlee Lorenzana says Citibank fired her for being too hot. Now, if she doesn't lay off the media appearances, she could be fired from her new job at Chase. Plus! Watch video of hottie banker in action!

Hottie banker Debrahlee Lorenzana, who says Citigroup fired her for being too hot, really was quite hot, reports the New York Daily News, which joins the scandal of Debrahlee's hotness with eyewitness testimony. And another gallery of sexy pictures.

Three tobacco companies are suing the city over these overly graphic posters that cigarette retailers are now forced to display. We hate to agree with Big Tobacco, but we don't wanna see open heart surgery while buying our Diet Coke.

"Everything about Debrahlee Lorenzana is hot. Even her name sizzles," writes the Voice in a profile of the hot banker fired for being "too distracting for her male colleagues to bear." Her lawyer even has photographic evidence of said hotness.

A woman is suing Google after being hit by a car while following directions from Google Maps. Do you remember when a fictional character basically did this on The Office, and people said it was unrealistic? Ha. [PC World]

One Tuesday last June a man stopped at this gas station in Tennessee to use the bathroom. The toilet "malfunctioned." What happened next left him with "urologic injury, neck injury, prostatic trauma with urinary retention… and trembles from pain."

Author Kelly Van claims that James Cameron's record-breaking sci-fi epic Avatar is based on her unpublished book Sheila the Warrior: the Damned, an action romance set on the planet of "Tibet." Hmmm. We have the full lawsuit.

Return to The Insane Avatar Copyright Lawsuit Filed Against James Cameron

A judge has dismissed the suit brought against Variety over their 'Iron Cross' Oscar shakedown.

Speaking of police brutality, we don't want to give you the impression that shocking, scary, or shocking and scary police behavior is limited to the NYPD. Far from it! How else are cops offending our sensibilities today? Many ways!

A girl who posted pics of her "epic boobs" and inadvertently became an Internet meme lost a lawsuit against the outlet that made her a star. It raises the question: If you become an internet meme, what should you do?

Remind us not to get in a fight with E-Trade: The company is responding to a defamation suit from Lindsay Lohan with a hundred-page document "detailing Lohan's drug abuse, brawls and DWI busts," just to prove she lives in California.