The Terrace Diner in Bayside, Queens earned high marks from the Queens Gazette last year for its "open, airy atmosphere" and "wide, comfortable booths and tables." It's safe to say, though, that Dr. Arnold Sheff won't be going back there any time soon. The retired physician says he was regular at the restaurant until one morning last October, when he complained about the service to another customer, which prompted the waiter serving him to retaliate by publicly announcing to everyone in the diner what you see highlighted above. Naturally, Sheff has since suffered severe embarrassment, mental anguish, and extreme emotional distress as a result, and is now suing everyone involved. Provided you're not eating and browsing the Web at the same time, you can read the full complaint after the jump.

Former Estée Lauder CEO William Lauder fathered a child with New York socialite Taylor Stein. While "Dancing Bear" cooed at the baby via email, he wanted to keep his illegitimate daughter secret from his mother.

When we revealed that an agency retained by JPMorgan Chase to collect outstanding debts had resorted to harrassing debtors' kids by posting nasty messages on MySpace, we didn't realize who Jamie Dimon was messing with. Meet Gina Ricobene. She's the daughter of Jim Ricobene, the man suing the bank because Gina found a message on her MySpace page threatening to put her dad behind bars if he didn't come up with the cash to pay off the loan on his Mercedes.

The New York Civil Liberties Union is suing the NYPD on behalf of a Queens man who was kicked out of a Yankees game when he tried to go potty during "God Bless America."

You can tell Seven jeans apart from the denim sold at discount department stores by the price tag, of course. But that doesn't mean Seven is going to stand idly by when someone comes along and tries to sell knock-off jeans for less than half the price at Marshalls. Seven for All Mankind filed a lawsuit last week charging InDesign Apparel and Oleg Cassini with doing just that, producing a line of denim "bearing an embroidered design on the back-pockets that is strikingly and confusingly similar" to Seven's own "distinctive brand," goods on sale at Marshalls locations across the country. Seven says it informed the parties involved to knock it off (as it were), but they've failed to comply with the cease and desist letters that have been sent their way. So Seven is now suing for trademark and copyright infringement (among other things), and asking a court to put a halt to it. Oh, and they're also asking the court to grant them "up to $150,000 per work infringed," which should be about a trillion dollars or so. The full lawsuit is below. Flip to the end of the document to see the two labels side by side and play the role of judge and jury.

A former advertising director at Body + Soul is accusing parent company Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia of firing her because she broke her spine and went on temporary disability. That's cold, even for Martha.

This photo of JPMorgan Chase chief Jamie Dimon holding up his fists ready to throw down? It's not just for show. If Chase loans you money to, say, buy a Mercedes SUV and you don't pay the bank back, Dimon will use any means necessary to insure you follow through. At least that's what a man named James Ricobene claims, who is now suing JPMorgan Chase for allegedly resorting to dirty tactics to collect the collateral on a car loan. Ricobene says Chase hired a shady collection outfit to harass him and posted a threatening message on his daughter's MySpace page vowing to report the 2007 Mercedes GL450 as stolen and put him in jail for two years if he didn't come up with the goods. We can't imagine Dimon would condone such unethical conduct, if only because he probably doesn't even know what MySpace is. But Ricobene probably shouldn't have been in this position to begin with, especially since he happens to be the president of a company called Cash Flow Consultants Inc. The full suit after the jump!

You didn't think Donald Trump was going to let the embarrassing mess over that failed condo development in Mexico go unanswered, did you? Just a few weeks after reports surfaced that dozens of people people lost millions buying into the Trump Ocean Resort Baja Mexico, comes word that the Donald has filed a $50 million suit against the project's developers for breach of contract and for "muddying the Trump name." As if that's even possible! [NYDN]

Nobody would be surprised if skeevy American Apparel boss Dov Charney and nebbishy, schoolgirl-stroking Woody Allen turned out to be the same person. So naturally they're in court, accusing each other of the same things.

In a deposition for his $10 million suit against American Apparel, Woody Allen described the clothing company's ads today as "sleazy," "adolescent" and "infantile." Yes, this would be the same Woody Allen who sleazily started an affair with his quasi-stepdaughter, who was an adolescent at the time. But at least he'll have something to talk about at his next session with his psychoanalyst. [NYP]

When Mort Zuckerman first revealed that he'd lost a bundle to Bernie Madoff via money manager Ezra Merkin, he seemed to brush it off, suggesting he'd only entrusted a small part of his charitable trust to Merkin. A few days ago, he revealed that it wasn't just his charitable foundation that fell victim; he lost $15 million of his own money, too. But the scandal may have cost him a good friend as well. Zuckerman's lawsuit, which you can view below, says Zuckerman had forged "a close relationship" with Merkin up until news of the scheme came to light.

J. Ezra Merkin, the financier who handed more than $2 billion of his clients' money over to Bernie Madoff, has been sued by the New York attorney general. The New York Times employs Merkin's sister...

It's shaping up to be a particularly bad day for Ezra Merkin. Attorney General Andrew Cuomo sued the money manager this morning for steering more than $2 billion to Bernie Madoff. Now real estate mogul/Daily News publisher Mort Zuckerman is suing for fraud, too, over the $25 million he handed to Merkin as part of his charitable trust as well as another $15 million he says he invested personally. [Bloomberg]

Finding true love can be a costly endeavor, especially if you're a client of Shoshanna Rikon, the woman behind Shoshanna's Matches. According to a lawsuit filed this week, Rikon—who bills herself as the "New York City's No. 1 Jewish Matchmaker"—charged clients thousands of dollars a year for her services, even though New York's Dating Service Law (yes, there is such a thing) sets limits on the amount a "social referral service" can charge. Plus she wouldn't give refunds to dissatisfied customers or guarantee a minimum number of introductions, which isn't so kosher either, apparently. Nava Sheena, a former client of the company, is now taking the matter to court with a class action suit, and says she's located more than 500 other people who also claim they were overcharged by Rikon. The suit against the New York version of Patti Stanger is below.

If you come up short in a review by Times dining critic Frank Bruni, consider the bright side: You just may save yourself from a messy, three-year legal battle. In 2006, Tina Michelle Braunstein, a former bartender at David Barber's three-star Blue Hill at Stone Barns, filed suit against the restaurant, claiming she'd been the victim of sexual harassment and discrimination. The workplace unpleasantness increased considerably, she says, after her name was mentioned three times in Bruni's review of the restaurant, since the praise was none too appreciated by Philippe Gouze, Blue Hill's general manager. Braunstein's suit was filed three years ago, but Blue Hill tried to have the case dismissed, a motion that was denied by a judge late last week. Here's hoping the matter goes to court: There's always the off-chance Frank Bruni is forced reveal himself and take the witness stand. The judge's order is below.

Gawker has laid hands on the ShamWow guy's 2004 lawsuit against the Church of Scientology, and it's good! He accused the cult of infiltrating his food-chopper business and stealing it from him.

Vince Shlomi's claims to fame are his ability to shill oddly absorbent towels, and after last week, getting arrested after beating a prostitute to a pulp. Are you surprised he was also involved with Scientology?

Lester Jon Ruston would really, really appreciate it if Katie Couric would stop bothering him already. That's certainly a sentiment we can appreciate! Her CBS newscast is a bit of a bother to sit through, no? Ruston's beef, however, doesn't have anything to do with her role of TV anchor. He says that Couric has spent the last few years making it her mission to harass him and ruin his life. Does that strike you as a little crazy? We should probably mention here that Ruston is a full-time resident of a medical facility that houses the criminally insane. But just because his imagination appears to be getting the best of him doesn't mean he lacks a work ethic. Ruston's original 2006 lawsuit against Couric back when she was at NBC was dismissed by a judge, but he's since updated the suit to reflect her gig at CBS. And this week he filed papers to depose Couric, so he can finally get to the bottom of the conspiracy against him. Ruston's legal filings and correspondence with the judge—which feature his signature catchphrase "Mess with Les... Go Down with the Rest!"—is below.

A decade ago, Fortune pegged CNET founder Halsey Minor's net worth at $354 million. Today he's fending off lawsuits seeking $60 million. Has he run out of money?