Click to viewBoomp3.com Pint size media mogul Ashley Olsen took further advantage of her mogul status as she cut through the line at LAX early on Tuesday morning. In addition to moving ahead in line, Olsen did not have to crawl on her hands and knees to breeze past the rest of the line. Olsen said, "Airport lint is hell on my jeans." [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com It ain’t easy being a smoker at LAX these days. My Name Is Earl star Jason Lee felt as if he had to hike all the way to Northridge in order to find a spot where he could have a very vital stress releasing cigarette before his flight. Lee understands the desire to have smokers separated from the general public, but the cubby hole he was placed into was a bit much. Lee said, “I get it, but couldn’t they give us smokers more room to work with other than this little box. The line to smoke goes all way down to Manhattan Beach. We’re people who have a bad habit, but it’s not a crime. Maybe two or three people could smoke at a time.” [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Opting to go without her trademark glasses, Emmy nominee Tina Fey still had to fight off the Sarah Palin comparisons and questions while leaving LAX baggage claim. Even the limo driver assumed that she was the wildly popular vice presidential candidate. Fey explained that she just played the Alaskan air huntress in a sketch and that she was becoming a bit tired of the comparisons. “She hunts moose and doesn’t know a thing about password protection," Fey said. "I made Saturday Night Live watchable for four years. I think I have more executive experience than her. Serkplatt!” [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Crazy old Kanye West, the retiringly modest Best Rapper In the World Ever, has been arrested at LAX. It seems the college dropout said hoof! to some paparazzo's camera, smashing it to the floor like so many California dreams. Other than this being a curious example of an attention hog dissing attention, this isn't exactly shocking, given West's history of getting mad at people. Well, at least he didn't break a damn MacBook Air over some damn hippie's head.

The automatic doors of LAX refused to open for comedic actor Will Ferrell on Friday morning. The doors were making a stand against Ferrell's recent string of feature films. The intercom voice said, "The automatic doors are for people who don't make the same movie over and over again." Ferrell attempted to go through, but the doors would not budge. Ferrell cited the film Stranger Than Fiction as a stretch of his acting diversity. The intercom voice chimed back, "We tried to record that on the DVR, but there was a recording error." Ferrell asked the doors what they wanted him to do. The intercom voice told it would be in Ferrell's best interest if he takes a summer or two off and let the American public learn to love him again. Ferrell agreed to the deal and quickly made his way through the door.

One Day at a Time is both the title of a seminal postfeminist late-'70s sitcom and a 12-step mantra, and both apply to its star and recovering substance-abuser Mackenzie Phillips. IMDb lists her as having been clean and sober since 1992, but TMZ is reporting that the actress was arrested today at LAX, allegedly for possession of heroin and coke. She's currently in custody:

All heck broke loose at LAX on Tuesday afternoon when Kate Hudson entered a terminal with sweaty pits. One onlooker remarked, "I had always heard that celebrities were supposedly regular people like you and me, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that they would go out in public without applying a little anti-perspirant." Another onlooker, a self-described "excessive sweater", appreciated seeing a fellow sweater living their life to the fullest.

Cybill Shepherd pleasantly greeted the snappers outside of LAX on Tuesday afternoon. The Moonlighting star told them that they sure knew how to make a girl feel welcomed as she pulled up to airport. The snappers followed Shepherd all the way to the ticket counter, but much to Shepherd's dismay, the lens men stopped once Shepherd hit the escalator. Shepherd asked if they wanted to get some frames of her taking her shoes off and you know, acting like a regular person. They collectively shrugged their shoulders and said that they've got enough photos of people without their shoes on.

Pint size hottie/High School Musical trilogy star Zac Efron learned the right way to tip on the DL while at the airport on Thursday. While Efron was all set to slip a twenty into the pocket of his sky cap (a trick he learned from watching Hollywood A-Listers like Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler), an older gentleman who happened to be nearby instead instructed the Hairspray star about the proper way to tip. The gentleman shook Efron's hand and when Efron pulled it back, he discovered a twenty in his hand. Efron was baffled and amazed by the bill and asked the man where he learned it. The gentleman explained that he caught an episode of Friends in college and the rest has been history.

In a scene eerily similar to the film Garden State, Zach Braff started to feel alienated from the crowd at LAX. As Braff headed toward the exit, the crowd started to slowly blur into a sea of shapes and figures. Braff said, "It made me feel like I was really alone in the world. You know, that it was just me with the problem and everybody else was fine and normal." It didn't help Braff's demeanor any when he got a phone call and realized that his mobile phone still defaults to an Imogen Heap ringtone.

Looks like Liv Tyler should've asked her Armageddon co-star Ben Affleck for some tips on how to tip on the DL. While at LAX on Tuesday afternoon, Tyler attempted to slide the tip into the skycap's pocket, but the skycap mistook the gesture for something a bit more forward. Tyler explained that she was trying to tip him and didn't mean anything by it. The skycap smile and said, "You could just give it to me. No need to be a Sneaky Pete about things."

Balthazar Getty anxiously paced the arrivals section of LAX on Monday. The Lost Highway star said that usually his wife picks him up from the airport, but since all the recent nastiness involving Getty and British bicycle Sienna Miller, she might be getting some revenge on him by leaving him stranded. Getty said, "What's that line from Airplane? Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue? Well, replace 'glue' with 'cheating on my wife' and that about sums this situation up." Getty paced around awhile before hopping on an Enterprise Rent-A-Car shuttle.

Actress Sophia Bush gave a photog the stink eye as she descended down an escalator. The photog had attached a very long lens to the camera as soon as he saw the John Tucker Must Die star at the top of the stairs, but his efforts for a money shot were quickly thwarted. Bush held her right hand over any potential "Oops!" zone and said, "Better luck tomorrow, buddy boy." After Bush passed by, the photog quickly removed the lens and muttered that Bush will rue the day that she denied him the money shot.

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

Two and Half Men star Jon Cryer received the next level in TSA security pat down while boarding at a film at LAX. It wasn't as much of a pat down as it was a full body pat down that lingered a tad too long in certain areas for Cryer. Cryer said of the experience, "I guess he's a fan, but sometimes, people get a bit too zealous."