Things are finally looking up for famous people and people who aren’t famous but are at least rich enough to act like they are: Los Angeles International Airport (or “LAX,” short for lacrosse) has been approved to build a special terminal specifically for the most beautiful and wealthy among us.

Wiz Khalifa apparently fell off a hoverboard and into some handcuffs with a little help from five LAX customs agents Sunday. “Stop resisting,” the scrum of officers warn the rapper, who, to his credit, does not appear to be resisting.

It looks like the wacky men and women of airport law enforcement are up to their old hijinks again. After a routine training exercise, the people whose sole job it is to keep you safe at the airport apparently forgot to pick up one of their live explosives—until workers stumbled upon the dynamite four days later.

An American Airlines flight from LAX to London was delayed for 17 hours after a passenger noticed an available WiFi network named "Al-Quida Free Terror Nettwork" and alerted the plane's crew.

Marilyn Hartman, described by authorities as a "serial stowaway," was arrested by police at Los Angeles International Airport for the second time this week after allegedly trying to sneak onto a flight. Hartman has been arrested by police seven times this year for making similar attempts at SFO.

Sixty-seven live giant African snails were discovered in two picnic baskets at the Los Angeles International Airport earlier this month. The snails, which collectively weighed 35 pounds, were sent from Lagos, Nigeria, to a person in San Dimas, Ca., and were apparently intended for human consumption.

Los Angeles International Airport shut down for several hours last week because a spy plane on a secret mission fried the airport's air traffic control center.

For months, baggage handlers at Los Angeles International Airport treated luggage conveyor belts like a buffet line, pocketing electronics, jewelry, and other valuable items from checked bags and selling them on Craigslist.

In its report on the shooting at LAX this morning, The Globe and Mail published a shocking report attributed to the LAPD that former NSA chief Michael Hayden had been shot dead in the incident, and that a "radical Christian group" had claimed responsibility.

A gunman armed with a high-powered rifle stormed Los Angeles International Airport today, injuring at least 7 people. According to police, the incident is under control, and the suspect is in custody.

What was initially reported as a “dry ice bomb” Sunday night at Terminal 2 in LAX was an explosion of a plastic bottle filled with dry ice in an empty bathroom. While the terminal has since reopened, departing flights out of LAX are delayed and the FBI is investigating.

Public dancer Angela Trimbur takes her predilection for dancing like nobody's watching while everybody's watching to LAX, where she is met at baggage claim by a courtesy call from The Black Angels.

A Chinese-born US citizen living in Boston was stopped in LAX on his way home from Japan with a suitcase full to bursting with a variety of weapons as well as other odd items such as handcuffs, duct tape, masks, body bags, and cooking tongs.

It's been a while since we last heard about a loaded gun slipping past the watchful eyes and groping, toy-taking hands of TSA's diaper-busting agents and making it onto an airplane. We thought that maybe the agency had patched up that minor security breach issue, or something. Nope!

You know when you go through airport security, and they're all, "Put everything in the plastic tub, sir...SIR. I said EVERYTHING. YES, that includes that priceless pocket watch that belonged to your great-grandfather. What is that, anyway? A Breguet No. 5 housed in 18-karat yellow gold etched with a barleycorn guilloché motif? Yeah. That's what I thought. Real pretty piece o' clockwork you got there, buddy. Now put the damn watch in the tub before I call over Big Bob and his box of surgical gloves. You're holding up the line."

[Famous actor Brad Pitt goes through LAX security. Image via Bauer Griffin]

[Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly was passing through LAX on Tuesday, looking rather serene on her way to the plane, where, if past behavior is any indication, she totally freaked out about her dog.]

Oh, look! Here's a video of Antoine Dodson—of "Bed Intruder Song"/YouTube fame—arriving Wednesday night at LAX. Dodson, dressed to the nines and flanked by a bodyguard, chatted up the salivating paparazzi about being both famous and fabulous.

Among the pieces of evidence presented in support of California's new anti-paparazzi law—which passed on Tuesday—was this video of paparazzi terrorizing Kate Moss at LAX. Here's the video, alongside the images that landed in that week's tabloids.

Click to viewBoomp3.com A couple of fiendish film flashers got their Halloween jollies in a day early as they spooked spectacular sassy screen star Kate Hudson at popular celeb hangout, LAX. The fiends wore spooky burlap sacks over the faces and shouted scary phrases like “Boo!” and “John McCain won the election!” while jumping out in front of the Raising Helen star. [Photo Credit: WENN] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.