Backtracking from recent remarks that have been construed in the media as an endorsement of Rosie O'Donnell's candidacy to replace him on the The Price Is Right, retiring emcee Bob Barker today clarified what he meant when he said he had "no doubt" O'Donnell would make a good host, telling the AP, "I have not been asked for my opinion, nor have I expressed one. I think there are several candidates who could do the show, and Rosie is certainly one of them." (To his credit, the discreet Barker made no reference to a heated, closed-door meeting with Les Moonves earlier today in which the CBS Corp. head promised "to sew the balls back on every neutered dog and cat in town [himself] if [Barker] said another word about handing over the show to that [woman of below-average attractiveness].") O'Donnell has yet to publicly comment on this seeming blow to her chances of landing the job, but Defamer has exclusively obtained the ad she is placing-in tomorrow's Variety to address onetime idol Barker's unexpected withdrawal of support, one that echoes her earlier attempt at currying favor with the gameshow legend:

Yesterday Les Moonves said that Dan Rather's remarks about Katie Couric were "sexist." Yesterday afternoon, Neil Cavuto let Dan Rather strike back. "Les Moonves knows about entertainment, but he doesn't know about news," Rather said. Snappity snap!

CBS CEO Les Moonves defends the honor of Katie Couric, calling remarks about her by Dan Rather "sexist." CBS, long known for its championing of female equality, broadcasts such empowering programs as "Two and a Half Men" and "The King of Queens." [AP]

TVWeek corralled just-installed NBC Entertainment co-chair Ben Silverman (pictured above enjoying himself in the general vicinity of soon-to-be sworn enemy Les Moonves of CBS) for a "getting to know you" chat, in which the recently anointed New Peacock Messiah reveals that while he has managed to chug the company's "Choke on Our Quality" Kool-Aid, his acceptance of the gig progressed so quickly that he hasn't yet had time to take care of certain details unimportant to taking the job, like watching all of the network's Fall pick-ups. Reports TV Week:

· While the two-hour American Idol finale-clusterfuck dominates the ratings, it was down about 20 percent from last year's season-ender. Might this have been God's way of punishing Fox for allowing the ludicrously drawn-out show to stretch nine minutes over its allotted running time, fucking over DVR owners who didn't think to also record the local news if they actually wanted to see who won? Are we bitter? Nah, not much. [Variety]
· Just in case you missed the make-up announcement late yesterday afternoon, Alec Baldwin and CAA are back together. Always fucking or fighting, those two! [THR]
· CBS Corp. head Les Moonves is named MIPCOM "Personality of the Year." In an unrelated story, the family of the trade show's president, who had mysteriously gone missing at the beginning of Personality of the Year voting, was returned to safety shortly after the announcement. [Variety]
· Mary-Kate Olsen returns to TV (we know what you're thinking, but nope, no Ashley this time—free at last!) in a recurring role on Showtime's Weeds, in which she'll play a troubled customer whose eating disorder is so severe she can't even eat Mary Louise Parker's delicious pot brownies without purging. [THR]
· Warner Bros. acquries the rights to children's fantasy book Skulduggery Pleasant, hoping their possible movie franchise will turn out more Harry Potter than Lemony Snicket. [Variety]

Fans hoping to revive a cancelled TV series have been relying on increasingly flashy techniques in the hopes of registering on the radars of busy network heads, whose various galactic overlord duties may have rendered them tragically out of touch with the tastes of the common man. Arrested Development addicts pelted Fox execs with foam banana balls. Invasion lovers (yes, they existed) drowned ABC in bottled water. But devotees of the mushroom-clouds- on-Main-St. drama Jericho have decided to go the bulk snack route, inviting fellow grassroots supporters to send roasted peanuts to CBS's offices:

By this third morning of the upfronts, you are probably exhausted by the constant barrage of stories about new television shows you probably won't have the time or desire to watch. (NBC really nailed it: Who has time for new? Give us more of what we already like! Fill us up with your quality, Peacock!) Still, CBS will take its turn before their advertisers today, unveiling a schedule aimed at convincing the money people that their network is ready to move beyond just mindless sitcoms and syndication-friendly procedural dramas and take a (well-calculated, not too scary) risk or two: that's right, the Eye is going (mildly) edgy! On the Fall schedule:

Still haven't finalized your summer internship plans? For shame! Good thing Cynthia, who's currently interning at Teen Vogue, has some hot tips for you. "My advice for anyone applying for an internship would be to be prepared to answer anything from who your favorite up and coming designers are to why you think you are an eligible canidate [sic] for the position." Solid advice. So, uh, Cynthia, is that how you ended up where you are today, doing everything "from preparing photo shoots and fashion shows to screwing in a light bulb"? "A good friend and former Teen Vogue intern, Sara Moonves (who is now in the New York Vogue office) recommended me for the position. Getting the interview is one of the most difficult parts!" You heard her, kids: put "know the CEO of CBS's daughter" on your to-do lists, or start boning up on your back issues of Woman's Day.



Meet Cynthia [Teen Vogue]

From time to time the news cycle offers up an event of such import and complexity that it can only be comprehended through the medium of musical theater. Ben Greenman, the Rodgers & Hammerstein of the age (or, at least the Hammerstein), will lead you down the Great White Way to understanding. Shhh, the curtain's starting to rise!

For those of you unable to concentrate on your jobs, family, or the heartbreaking news that Angelina Jolie seems unable to love her lone biological child because you've been sick with worry about this Don Imus situation, relief: He's been shitcanned by CBS, and shitcanned good. Our east-coasted siblings at Gawker have smiling CBS Corp. despot Les Moonves' announcement of the firing, who is no doubt a little annoyed that sworn NBC enemy Jeff Zucker beat him to the kill yesterday; he hates being the guy to fire the second bullet at a public execution.

• The Post has never heard of Whitewater. [NYP]
  

• MTV names reality TV queen to head programming. Expect lots more pimping and punking! [MediaPost]
  

• Is it just us, or do these new Us ads represent the perfect marking point for the world's fatal descent into decadence?
  

· CBS's Les Moonves agrees to a skittish Harvey Weinstein's request for a last minute edit removing the word "terrifying" from a Hannibal Rising commercial, which Weinstein apparently feared would induce mass panic in potential ticket-buyers for his film. [Variety]
· Columbia Pictures is about to pick up the script You Don't Mess with Zohan, about a Mossad agent who fakes his death to become a hairdresser in NY, from Judd Apatow, Robert Smigel and Adam Sandler. Sandler, of course, will play the blow-dryer-wielding spy. [THR]
· Tommy Mottola and Biggest Loser producer David Broome are putting together a "grittier take" on the America's Next Top Model formula for TLC starring Petra Nemcova, in which eliminated models are force-fed cocaine until their weakened hearts explode instead of sent home. [Variety]
· Following American Idol's latest Nielsen-dominating performance, Fox's desperate competitors are seriously considering having Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell killed. [THR]
· Var produces some important service journalism for its Grammy-attending readers, warning that the closure of parking lots at the Staples center will likely result in huge traffic jams and the mass inconveniencing of limo passengers. Save yourself a headache by commissioning a helicopter for the night. [Variety]

· If companies like Time Warner are serious about a commitment to new media, then why can't Peter Bart get someone from TW on the phone who knows how to work his fucking TiVo? [Variety]
· In signing a new overall deal with CBS Paramount Network Television, CSI executive producer Ann Donahue reveals the softer side of CBS Corp.'s future galactic despot Les Moonves: "'Over the summer I had a family member (hospitalized) in grave condition,' Donahue said. 'Leslie, Nancy and Nina called me and not only offered their help, but they cut through a lot of red tape and saved a life. I will be at CBS for as long as they want me.'" [THR]
· NewsCorp is finalizing a deal to bring MySpace to China, but will have to make concessions to the government to bring the site in compliance with local regulations, like limiting each user to a single person in their friendspace (female friend requests must be immediately deleted) and requiring all profile comment to be approved by the Glorious Chinese Emoticon And LOL Censorship Board. [THR]
· Grey's Anatomy, which will finish the week as the number one non-Idol program on television, shows no ill Nielsen effects from the post-Globes Isaiah Washington fiasco, meaning that the slur-happy actor will probably still have a job once he completes his stint in network-ordered GayHab. [Variety]

• Ravelston, the company through which Conrad Black controlled Hollinger International, plead out to fraud. [Guardian]
  

Var's Peter Bart attempts to explain the paradox of CBS Corp CEO Les Moonves: He's part ruthless Old Hollywood, power-crazed mogul, part new media and corporate player. We can't think of a candidate who's better qualified to one day enslave us all. [Variety]
MTV Films picks up the Bob Odenkirk/Rainn Wilson comedy Kanan Rhodes: Unkillable Servant of Justice, about "a man who serves subpoenas with the suaveness, intensity and conviction of James Bond." Odenkirk explains that the project languished for seven years "because we couldn't find anyone who could pull it off. Until we got Rainn in our brain! A lot of actors would come off as dicks, but when he does it, it's sweet and kind of sad." We'd never really been able to put our finger on it, but Wilson really does have that sweet/sad/dicky thing going on. [THR]
After a two-and-a-half month lockout while 20th Century Fox TV and series creator Seth McFarlane worked on a new deal, Family Guy's writers have finally been allowed to get back to the important work of brainstorming non-sequitur gags to randomly insert into the show's sixth season stories. [Variety]
· CSI's Marg Helgenberger's husband announces that he'll seek a second two-year term as head of SAG. [THR]
In other SAG news, the Guild awaits Monday's arrival of new national executive director Doug Allen, the former NFL linebacker they hope will soon lead them to a collective bargaining championship over the studios. [Variety]

CBS forms a new division, CBS Interactive, headed by star dealmaker Quincy Smith. Smith was involved in Viacom buying Neopets, CNet buying Webshots, and several Google deals. He reports directly to CBS chief Les Moonves.

Even though superannuated Viacom despot Sumner Redstone publicly reacted with the obligatory, magnanimous statement "(I wish Tom and his associates the greatest good fortune in their venture.") in reaction to yesterday's news that former moviemaking associate Tom Cruise is shacking up with MGM to revive United Artists, privately, he probably spent the day angrily commanding various abled-bodied minions to overturn heavy office furniture on his enraged behalf, berating his underling's utter failure to follow his orders to have Cruise placed on an ice floe and floated out into the ocean, eliminating the possibility that he'd ever work in the entertainment industry again. But for at least a few precious moments yesterday, Redstone was able to take some solace in the fact that he has at least one employee he can count on:

• You can't pay people to read newspapers these days. [PEJ]