Here is an urgent letter and warning that just came through on our tips line. Sic throughout, natch. "Hello dear ladies and gentlemen!I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not damn sexy), most important-CHRISTIAN young lady! I'll tell you guys more, that clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY-world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, North Bavaria, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning!"

Remember Alex Kozinski, the 9th Circuit Court Judge who's been forced to recuse himself from an obscenity trial because of BESTIALITY PORN POSTED ON HIS WEBSITE? What a wacky story, right? Hah! That maroon! Yes well it turns out it's actually a depressing tale of outright journalistic malfeasance that could impact an important first amendment case, but whatever. The Judge, Alex Kozinski, has already declared a mistrial, and all that's left is for his wife to pen angry letters to blogs. It's all the L.A. Times' fault!

The White House sent a FURIOUS letter to NBC news. They claim they're mad at how NBC edited Richard Engel's interview with the president last week. It's all bullshit, obv. The details, transcript, letter, and video—after the jump!

Playboy editor Chip Rowe would like you to know that he didn't actually solicit a pro-Olbermann letter from an Olbermann fan blogger after receiving a flood of negative responses to their interview. He merely invited her to respond if she so desired. Also this is S.O.P. and also "I read it for the articles" jokes are not funny anymore. [Playboy]

Did you happen to catch the letters column in yesterday's Times Magazine? Let us call your attention to the second missive:

We're sure you tried to avoid it, but you all know damn well you read the profile of Paris Hilton in the October issue of Vanity Fair, in which her sister Nicky was quoted as follows:

The first step in any civil-rights movement is building awareness. And so we feel it incumbent upon ourselves to help one Colleen Sussman, whose letter to the editor of the Times was consigned to merely the City section, get word out about her plight.

From our glittery bag of reader email: