Representative Eric Massa (D-NY) is being investigated by the House Ethics Committee for sexual harassment of a male staffer and also his cancer came back. So he's resigning effective Monday. His statement is... worth a read.

In your democratic Wednesday media column: Letters to the editor are alive and well, the Washington Times sports section teeters, Hu Shuli rebounds, and Carl Kasell takes up whittling.

Dear readers; this year those dreadful holiday letters — you know, the ones in which your aunt waxes lyrical about her weird kids underneath a mall photo of the family — are mostly filled with layoffs and misery. [WSJ]

Hamilton Nolan has taken frequent aim at 'pansexual' self-promoter and editor Neal Boulton's public antics, usually with a disclosure that Genre magazine never paid him $250 for a story Boulton assigned. Today, they bury that hatchet. A letter from Boulton:

Incarcerated Utahan Kari Ferrell, your Hipster Grifter, has mailed another missive to her pen pal, Bucky Turco, and, through him, to you, her fans. She'll be out of jail in a flash. Then, back to NYC, and onto (more) TV!

Recently sentenced Utah convict Kari Ferrell has sent another jailhouse letter to her pen pal, Animal NY's Bucky Turco. Below, a random sample. Her prose style should be familiar by now.

In a letter that Phil Spector — currently serving 19-years-to-life for murdering Lana Clarkson — wrote to a pen pal, and exclusively obtained by Gawker, the music legend is convinced that he is the true victim of his crime.

Earlier this summer, American Apparel got nailed for having nearly 2,000 illegal factory workers in L.A.. Now 1,500 of those workers have been fired. Dov Charney is even sadder about it than they are.

Yesterday we pointed out that a fella named Justin Massler had sent an apparently insane horse-themed letter to the New York Observer. Now Justin is acting even more apparently insane. We think it's just bad performance art!

In a groveling open letter, Gov. Mark Sanford calls his whole affair his "funeral," negating all the warm fuzzies his sultry Argentinian shoved-under-the-rug soulmate felt from his love letters. Those flames of love burn, baby, burn.

Before Michael Jackson died, and before Mark Sanford disappeared to Argentina, a Senator named John Ensign admitted to an affair with a former staffer, who was married to another former staffer. And now we have his break-up letter to her.

The NAACP, once America's premier civil rights group but now even less influential than PETA, has sent a letter to America's biggest advertisers demanding that they hire agencies that have black executives. Does anyone care?

David Paterson: no one likes him anymore, though he's still better than the last, like, 10 governors. We only like him more after reading his insane love letter to his disgraced former aide.

"Dear Mr. Charney," begins the most misguided letter ever from a third grader to someone she looks up to. What are they teaching in the schools now, porno sex for the kids?

Little right-wing creep kid Charles Stam sent a two thousand word letter to the editor of the Horace Mann Record, his high-school paper.

Andy Martin is the guy who invented the magical story of Barack Obama's secret Muslim upbringing. This story still convinces dumb old people, all the time, when they read it in their emails. Then they ask John McCain about it and he is kind of embarrassed but they still believe it, pretty much. Andy Martin is also an insane racist lunatic who used to run for office a lot. In 1986, he ran for Congress from Connecticut. He sent this amazing letter out to voters. If elected, Martin promised to "exterminate Jew Power in America." Because Jews are "schooled in blood sucking and money grubbing from birth." The letter goes on like that at great length. You can read the whole thing at The Smoking Gun! Oh, and Sean Hannity had this guy on his show to talk about Obama's secret Muslim background. Hannity didn't mention the money-grubbing Jews bit. [TSG]

Way, way back in February of 2006, Senator John McCain invited a shiny new Senator from Illinois to a meeting to discuss campaign finance reform. A day after the meeting, the junior Senator, a polite young man named Barack Obama, wrote to McCain, "I know you have expressed an interest in creating a task force to further study and discuss these matters, but I and others in the Democratic Caucus believe the more effective and timely course is to allow the committees of jurisdiction to roll up their sleeves and get to work on writing ethics and lobbying reform legislation that a majority of the Senate can support. Committee consideration of these matters through the normal course will ensure that these issues are discussed in a public forum and that those within Congress, as well as those on the outside, can express their views, ensuring a thorough review of this matter." McCain's brain somehow translated that to mean, "Go fuck yourself, ass." Because this is what he wrote back:

Terrible celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz has been documenting the development of the innocent young New York Times Building, and tomorrow she is going to drape it in a sexy sheet and photograph it. So watch out! She's going to do this in a helicopter, flying well below standard FAA restrictions, and then she'll shoot some wolves. They had to write a letter to the neighbors apologizing in advance for having a famous controversial celebrity photographer hanging around in a helicopter all day while they're trying to work.

Vice magazine is suspending its letters page for a month, in protest of the fact that they now just get stupid emails, whereas they used to get real letters with "gifts inside." The hipster mag's editors instruct readers to send in "actual, tangible letters" printed on real paper if they ever want to see their precious letters page again. To increase your chances of publication, be sure to include a bag of coke, a photo of a wasted Williamsburg girl who looks totally ready to screw a Vice editor , and a BMW marketing proposal. [NYO]

Ah, the Congressional internship. Stepping-stone to a lifetime of tireless public service, or just entitled whining and constant intoxication paired with exponentially growing cynicism about the entire process. Fun! We just obtained an email from an outgoing summer intern at a Senate office that, in the words of our tipster, is "comparable only with Washington's Farewell Address." It is a "gentle reminder" that today will be this young go-getters last day at the office. It goes on to explain "the nature of democracy" and features the phrase "the noblest self-disclosure." The young intern sent the email to everyone in the damn office, of course. "Dear colleagues and respected staff members," it begins, ominously...