Lindsay's favorite non-alcoholic beverage is alcoholic! Lady Gaga shocks another sports stadium. Snooki throws a drink. Good Morning America has a gay kiss double-standard. "Kidnapped" Jeremy London's story keeps getting dumber. Saturday's Gossip Roundup is advancing to the next round.

Stage mom extraordinaire Dina Lohan gets into a pissing match over high-fat freebies. Lindsay's alcohol-monitoring bracelet's alert a false alarm. David Spade bags improbable hottie Padma Lakshmi. TGIFriday gossip.

[Ali Lohan inspects a flashlight with sister Lindsay at Rite-Aid, where they bought office supplies and a copy of Vanity Fair. Note Lindsay's Mickey Mouse shirt. Are Disney mice a new theme for her? Images via X17online.com.]

Praise be the gods of tabloid: Brad Pitt's chin scraggle of horror is gone. Lindsay Lohan's paid appearances are increasingly desperate. Joe Jackson blames his wife for Michael's death. Monday gossip starts the week with a clean slate.

Christina Aguilera and Kim Kardashian are now friends. Lady Gaga loves Taylor Swift. Bam Margera battered by bat-bearing broad. Snooki: Small government advocate. Sunday's Gossip roundup is all about friendship and helping each other through difficult times.

Every time Lindsay Lohan drinks, it costs $10,000. English muffins can trigger false positives on alcohol monitors. Probation is the most complicated thing in the world. These are the things I've learned from the daily travails of the Lohans.

An unnamed Victoria's Secret model destroys a priceless work of art by rubbing her perfect body across it. Lindsay Lohan's assistant quits in a huff. Bethenny Frankel's mysterious first husband revealed. TGIFriday gossip.

Now that Madonna's a swinging single cougar, Gwyn refuses to study Kabbalah with her. Star Jones writes The Devil Wears Prada about Barbara Walters. Britney faces two sex scandals. Heidi Montag just wants one. Thursday gossip has an achy-breaky heart.

Lindsay Lohan dodges a second warrant for her arrest by posting bail for the second time. A third Gary Coleman will surfaces. J.Lo makes a deejay repeat her song six times in a row. Wednesday gossip is in the doldrums.

Lindsay Lohan tweeted that reports of her alcohol-monitoring bracelet going off were "fucking disgusting." But they are "fucking true." A new bench warrant has been issued for Lilo's arrest, and her infraction cost her a cool $100,000 in bail.

Several sources report Lindsay Lohan's booze-sniffing SCRAM bracelet alerted authorities last night of either alcohol, tampering, or a missed curfew. Now her lawyers are reportedly at an emergency meeting with her judge at the Beverly Hills Courthouse. Updated.

Jersey Shore falls for the Hilton sisters, and horror ensues. Coolio's new tattoo has a typo. Naomi Campbell cancelled an appearance because they tried to make her walk up stairs. Tuesday gossip is nightmarish in a good way.

Did Jesse James turn Sandra Bullock into a lesbian? Or was it Scarlett Johansson's singular hotness? Gary Coleman death photos for sale. Lindsay Lohan explores exciting new ways to hide her SCRAM bracelet. Monday gossip is the best revenge.

[Warrior nymph Lindsay Lohan approaches a goddess of light on the beach in Malibu. Sister Ali was on set, too, but dressed like a normal person. Image via X-17 Agency.]

Gary Coleman's wife, who pulled the plug, secretly divorced him years ago. Rob Pattinson frets about typecasting. Lindsay Lohan's cops spilled her coke on the floor. Gummi Bear returns. Thursday gossip is back from the dead.

Sulky Stewart feels violated. Jane Lynch marries her girlfriend. Lindsay Lohan gets her wisdom teeth out, and special permission to use painkillers. Before Charlie Sheen enters his plea deal, he's going to Disneyland. Wednesday gossip looks on the bright side.

The sad ballad of LiLo's SCRAM ankle bracelet plays on. (With Minnie Mouse ears!) Britney bitches out her boyfriend in public. Miley rubs her crotch in public. Kelly Bensimon shows her thong in public. Tuesday gossip has bad boundaries.

After years of trying, Celine Dion is finally pregnant. Lindsay Lohan tries to hang with a better crowd. Miley Cyrus hates Glee. Madonna saves gay Malawians. Your Memorial Day Gossip Roundup is warming up the grill.

Spencer and Heidi are splitting up. Lohan wants to make her SCRAM bracelet fancy. Ke$ha and Beyonce are being sued. Roman Polanski's life: Better than yours. Nick Cannon's puppy: pregnant. Saturday Gossip Roundup is a holiday weekend of gossip.

It used to be that celebrities hid from the paparazzi by wearing stealthy sunglasses. While camera-shy stars like Sandra Bullock hide indoors, Lindsay Lohan has invented a new ruse, hiding her face behind designer purses and shopping bags.