Spider-Man will once again swoop into New York City and save its catastrophe-plagued citizenry. Though this time he'll be in nerdy, terrestrial Tobey Maguire form. The slim yet dough-ish actor is giving a 9/11 speech tonight, according to some leaked CNN documents. What exactly his qualifications are, other than having played a city-saving superhero in the motion pictures (he also played a teenage sex fiend in The Ice Storm, should he give speeches at teenage sex fiend conventions??), is sorta beyond us. But whatevs. Hopefully it will be stirring and sad and ultimately hopeful. Also issuing (strangely poetic) musings on this hallowed day is celebrity deejay and Lindsay Lohan clam digger Samantha Ronson:

Project Runway is crappy this season, your cat has been acting weird towards you lately, the body is starting to smell and you need to leave the house. Whatever the reason, you may find yourself wanting to go out on the town on this cool late-summer evening. But what to do?? Well we have got the party for you. And all you have to do to get in is say the name "Jason Preston":

• Anne Hathaway broke up with Rafaello Follieri by speakerphone, saying, "you were the love of my life." Then he was arrested while she went to promote her movie in Mexico. Seeya, let's stay friends 'k?! [Us, Vanity Fair]

• Raffaello Follieri is expected to appear in court later this morning and plead guilty to wire fraud and money laundering, a deal that will land him a jail term of 51 to 63 months. [NYP]

Eva Longoria (left) leaving the tents with Robert Verdi ... Simon Doonan showing off his moves in Bryant Park ... Mickey Boardman and Veronica Webb smiling backstage at the Catherine Malandrino show ... Blake Lively looking pretty for the photogs at the Miss Sixty show ... Lindsay Lohan posing with Fern Mallis ... Bijou Phillips smoking with a friend in Bryant Park ... Renee Zellweger posing for photos with Carolina Herrera ... Rachel Hunter relaxing with friends at an after-party at Socialista ... Mary-Kate Olsen walking with her handlers in the rain through Midtown ... model May Andersen wearing a short black dress at the William Rast after-party ... and Mariah Carey going to dinner at Nobu with husband Nick Cannon after performing at the Fashion Rocks event.

• Today host Ann Curry moved during the national anthem at the Republican National Convention, because NBC hates freedom. Then she pointed at a nice lady from Alaska and yelled, because she is a terrorist. The Virgin Islands were also terribly offended. [P6]

• Drama abounded at DKNY's show yesterday: PETA protestors burst onto the runway, shouting and brandishing placards—to the apparent amusement of André Leon Talley—while Petra Nemcova's new bangs rendered her unrecognizable and therefore unmolested by the media. Meanwhile the rather random celebrity trio of Winona Ryder, Christina Ricci, and Nicole Richie were regaled with "combinations of electric blue and black, neon pink and yellow anorak dresses, parachute pants and color-blocked knits" and a finale led by Donna Karan's five-year-old granddaughter Stefania. [The Cut, Fashionologie, NYDN, Telegraph]
  
  

· Let Lindsay Lohan, Albert Brooks, Jamie Lynn Spears, and Life Magazine introduce you to the GOP's great vice-presidential hope. · In one of the best TV scraps since Judd Apatow eradicated That 70s Show's Mark Brazill, Greg Garcia branded Alec Baldwin as an "unlikeable, psychotic narcissist" after Baldwin bitched about NBC showing more love to My Name Is Earl than 30 Rock. · David Duchovny taught us all kinds of hilarious euphemisms for "sex addiction." · Madman Nicolas Cage went all the way to Thailand and all he got was this lousy coup. · David Spade might have made a kid, but Matthew McConaughey made a kid cry. · Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston and Paris Hilton made their respective plans for the Toronto Film Festival. · Do we dare ponder a future without Beijing Ben frolicking on NBC's behalf? · David Cronenberg explained to us that David Lynch is "way weirder" than he is. · All-Trailer Day had a look at Zack & Miri, Labor Pains and Milk. · The likeness to Jason Priestley's facial shrub was easy to place. Robert Downey Jr's, though? Not so much. · The first trailer of burgeoning political pundit Lindsay Lohan's comeback vehicle, Labor Pains, made its way online. Lindsay and her newly remunerative ladyfriend Sam Ronson celebrated with a full-fledged liplock for the paps. · We finally got a taste our first taste of the newer, smilier 90210. It remains to be seen whether Shenae Grimes' shit-eating grin can top Shannen Doherty's bitchy frown of yore, but one thing is certain: we can't wait for the reveal that Brandon was really the Unabomber! · Don LaFontaine, RIP. · And finally, don't forget to check back here on Sunday for our liveblog direct from the red carpet of the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. Britney will be opening and Kanye will be closing, while we're hopeful that watersports-enthusiast Russell Brand will be able to shake off his terrifying experience with an elephant's vagina and be as funny hosting as he was when we interviewed him. See you on Sunday at or around 3pm PDT!

Perhaps it's just practice for the sapphic VMAs cameo that MTV wants her to make, but part-time actress Lindsay Lohan was snapped smooching Samantha Ronson in Manhattan yesterday. The development will no doubt please LAPD Chief William Bratton, who correctly intuited that Lohan "going gay" would somehow spirit her away from the more aggressive paparazzi in Los Angeles, though there is still no word on what father Michael Lohan thinks of the photo (we're sure, though, that a statement is incoming). Meanwhile, Playboy has offered Lohan a series of less tender snapshots, and they made a surprisingly low first offer:

[Deejay Sam Ronson and her beloved, rescued actress Lindsay Lohan, kissing on the muthafuckin' mouth in New York; image via Splash]

Model/actress Sofia Vergara having lunch with friends at Da Silvano ... a pregnant Naomi Watts with her baby in hand ... Katie Holmes getting out of a SUV ... a bronzed Claire Danes walking down the street ... Shannen Doherty signing autographs outside the Late Show with David Letterman ... an inebriated Mariah Carey getting a little help standing up from two bodyguards ... and Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson kissing outside the Mercer Hotel last Sunday.

[Deejay Samantha Ronson and actress Lindsay Lohan, who are maybe a couple, taking a break on the set of the 'Ugly Betty' gay person variety hour television show yesterday; image via Splash]

• Lindsay Lohan is "not going the [New York] magazine road again," the star's rep reportedly told Playboy, by way of rejecting a $700,000 offer to be photographed topless. Because what's the fun in getting paid for it? [Post]

• Lindsay Lohan is turning down a $700,000 offer to pose nude for Playboy, even though she took her top off for New York for free earlier this year. Maybe Hugh should call Dina Lohan? [P6]

On one hand, we're right there with the folks challenging the ugly, disproportionate media scrutiny faced by gay celebrity couples. Seriously! Why shouldn't the likes of Courtenay Semel enforce their B-list bedhopping privileges with relish, and why should marrying material like Sam Ronson get a bum rap for being a no-good, disc-spinning, Lohan-using exploitation artist just because her girlfriend happens to drop by her increasingly well-compensated DJ gigs? On the other hand, now we aren't sure we really wanted the Ronson profile in the new issue of Angeleno Magazine to answer that last question:

Maybe it's just that Don LaFontaine is dead, but we're more invested than usual in the spectrum of new trailers making their ways through the mourning cosmos The Voice left behind. In fact, it's his special touch that perhaps most conspicuously missing from this new spot for the Lindsay Lohan comedy Labor Pains: "In a world... where one of the biggest celebrities is among the least employable... an independent film gave her a chance... to dazzle audiences again... by faking a pregnancy..." Adding insult to injury, the standard "Coming soon" title card is subbed out for "Now in post-production," reminding us that the film has yet be picked up for American distribution. It'll happen though, don't you worry; this has straight-to-Flopz written all over it. Check it after the jump. [Cinematical]

[Deejay Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan's alleged goilfriend, at a hotel party in Sydney yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin] Steverino_Begins' new line beats the original, "Oh No Thanks. I Already Have a Warm Pouch Waiting For Me At Home."

• Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild scuzz, has for some reason hired as his personal assistant Holly Montag, sister of the actress Heidi Montag. He reports she is "probably the best assistant I have ever had," by which he means she waited for him to get out of prison and greatly increases the chances he will score some sort of reality television deal. [P6]

While all of Hollywood waits with bated breath to hear the reaction to VP pick Sarah Palin from the only actress who matters — her doppleganger, Tina Fey — headline-friendly Lindsay Lohan has decided to wade into the political waters, spouting off her own, unsolicited thoughts on the matter from her Myspace celebrity blog. Now that Palin has revealed that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol is pregnant, she's become fair game for the Us Weekly set (indeed, she's snagged that cover as well as the front panel of OK!) — and who knows that territory better than Lohan?

Popular actress Lindsay Lohan managed to talk her constant companion, Samantha Ronson, out of an ice cream truck related existential crisis on Labor Day. Ronson bemoaned the fact that the Ice Cream Man did not have a photo of her favorite treat, a Bomb Pop, on his van. Lohan told Ronson to just ask the guy if he has any bomb pops. Ronson replied back, "If there isn't a sticker, then he doesn't have it. That's the code of the Ice Cream Man. A simple — but honest — code." Lohan thought that was the dumbest thing she had ever heard and walked over to the Ice Cream Man while Sam sulked, kicking the concrete below her Chuck Taylors.