Bernie Madoff's only remaining purpose in life is to be exploited by the media. Who will land the first jailhouse TV interview with the villain? We handicap the possibilities, below.

A new summer has blossomed (technically), and with it a new crop of celebrity media interns, riding their family names into coffee-fetching and fact-checking gigs that should rightfully go to miserable, debt-wracked, overqualified J-school graduates. This year's celeb intern class:

New York City, which is broke, of course, is selling off naming rights for its city parks. For mere millions! Using sociogeographical insight and imaginary marketing expertise, we have compiled a list of exactly who should buy these rights for a half-dozen parks. Read it and argue:

Here we are two days into the Swine Flu Panic of '09, and dead bodies have yet to be stacked up like cordwood on the streets of American cities. Face it: this story is dumb.

Times are tough. Stupid corporate cost-cutting tricks are rampant. Even within the hallowed confines of media companies! And the situation is growing more dire—no more free gyms, babysitting, good coffee, food, or toilet paper:

The Republican National Committee is hiring—via YouTube! Scores of patriotic young Republicans have uploaded video job applications. Below, marvel at five of the most promising future American leaders. Al Quaeda suxxx!

Despite the fact that there are not enough jobs for people already in journalism, kids still pay big money to go to J-schools. Where will they find work? New ideas for a new world:

Well now, let's just open the paper and have a look at the...OHMIGOD, what the hell, Jesus Christ, is the entire world economy collapsing today, worse than ever? Yes it is.

That big Yves Saint Laurent art auction certainly has saved the art world. By proving that the dumb money is still out there. That $28 million chair was just one of the craziest buys:

Long-form trend alert: Lots of former print media people are launching websites. There was another one today! It's time for us to rate five of these—and their chances of survival—honestly. This is important:

Jerelle Kraus, former art editor of the NYT's Op-Ed page, has a new book out, and she's telling all of the paper's sexy art secrets! Here, three images the Times killed for being too erotic:

The outcry over New York Post cartoonist Sean Delonas' dead monkey cartoon today is growing louder. But he has such a rich history! We assembled ten of his all-time classics of hate:

A tipster tells us billionaire Clinton pal Ron Burkle (and his model wrangler!) was "lurking around" Justin Timberlake's William Rast show at Fashion Week last night. Time for a listicle of creepy old ladies' men!

Is the bad economy a turn-on, or a turn-off? With a fake recession trend story, either can be true! Just study this easy guide to manufacturing trends in these tough times. Everybody's doing it:

You may think that things like poverty and unemployment and crime ruin a city's quality of life, but according to Forbes annual "Most Miserable Cities" list, it's more about taxes and hockey teams.

Page Six Magazine is folding, but not before they stroke the egos of anyone who could maybe give them a job with this here list of NYC's 50 Hottest Bachelors. Five problematic entries:

As Seth Meyers pointed out on Saturday Night Live last night, Kellogg Company's image is closer to that of bong-smoking Olympian Michael Phelps than the cereal maker likes to admit.

Oh lord oh lord, the trend pieces about Facebook's '25 random things' lists are spreading even faster than the freaking lists themselves. They are the kudzu of the media world! Yesterday was only the beginning:

Nobody's even talking about Super Bowl ads this year! We're here to remedy that, because what is our purpose if not to indoctrinate the public into the world of robotic overconsumption? Look, ad preview!

Obama's inauguration is not just his star-studded debut; it's also his first chance for a PR disaster. After the jump, a brief look at all the things that could go wrong on Day One: