America’s oldest living veteran—who, if I may speak freely, I truly love—just threw himself a “Mighty Fine at 109” party replete with burgers, cake and whiskey. I can only assume my invitation was lost in the mail and look forward to attending next year’s event.

Fellow Millennials: What is your current savings plan? Chances are you probably don't have one. Here's a retirement plan you could try: Save every penny you find for the next 65 years; that's what 81-year-old Ira Keys did. Now he has $816 in cold, hard cash.