Nichole Reed confessed to Orange City, Fla. police that she did indeed stuff seven lobster tails—Publix retail value: $11.99—down her pants. She was hoping, she told police, to trade the tails for some Chinese food. Or pills. It didn't work out.

David Foster Wallace's famous essay "Consider The Lobster" explores unsettling questions about how much pain lobsters feel when we cook them. By law, that introductory sentence must be on this blog post, which is about new research into whether lobsters and crabs feel pain.

As an experiment, Noah Oppenheim, a marine biology graduate student at the University of Maine, attached a waterproof, infrared camera to the head of a young lobster. As evening set in, he saw sights that cannot be unseen (but can be seen by you in the video below). Lobsters eating lobsters.

Is it ever possible to be "too old to die?" According to an insane person from Niantic Connecticut, yes.

Just FYI, watch out if you go walking around Maine, because gross pinchy underwater spider monsters are practically overrunning the entire coastline like an army sent from hell to destroy humanity, with claws. The time for hope is past.

Lobsterman Denny Ingram caught a yellow lobster last week! It is a Lobster Prince, and it granted him six wishes in exchange for its freedom. (That, or, it's a rare genetic anomaly occurring in one in 30 million lobsters.) [NYDN]

This guy thought he was fishing a blue beer can from the ocean. Turns out it was a lobster; only one in five million are blue. It was donated to the Seacoast Science Center. I wonder how it tastes. [NYDN]