Saturday gossip round up is here! Charlie Sheen's show takes a dive after some promising developments. Nicole Richie is sick of your pregnancy rumors. Gucci Mane is arrested for throwing a woman out of a car. Let's go.

Heidi Montag is slagged off by Andy Cohen; the Playboy Mansion sickens dozens, while Levi Johnston's sister announces her intention to pose in the magazine. The precipitating factors ofPete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson's divorce become clear. Chaos reigns in Saturday's gossip roundup.

Christina Aguilera liked to hook up with women while married to Jordan Bratman. Jon Gosselin wants his kids off TV. And exclusive Dina Lohan interview can be yours for just thousands of dollars. Saturday Gossip Roundup is a bottled genie.

Snooki's new boyfriend is a menace! Chris Brown loses again. Wanna know what it's like to do a sex scene with George Clooney? Hailey Glassman wants a job. Lilo wants a role. Saturday's Gossip Roundup wants a piece of toast.

Today at Gawker.TV, John Stamos drops by Entourage to play some ping pong, Kim Kardashian tells her sister Kourtney she's "like a single mom," Mad Men is back, and The Soup tears apart last week's news coverage about Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan's sentence has been reduced again: She'll get out two days earlier than expected.

She's 16 in the video; the guy is 44. Lil' Wayne gets caught with prison contraband. Tyra picks a fight with Palin. Leonardo DiCaprio is mistaken for a normal person. Ian McKellen is mistaken for a beggar. Wednesday gossip arrives.

[Lindsay Lohan shopping at Blue & Cream yesterday; image via INF]

• Nearly three years ago, Lindsay Lohan scrawled "Scarlett [Johansson] is a bloody cunt" on a bathroom wall at the Dark Room on the Lower East Side. Allure finally asked Johansson about the incident: "I don't know what the motivation was behind that. I remember it was something really vulgar—I mean, shockingly so, like 'Whoa, what, who are you?'"

• Madonna has her own Kabbalah counselor on staff to help her deal with her anger at soon-to-be-ex husband Guy Ritchie, who is just a terrible gold digger or something. A gold-digging famous movie director who hangs out with Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. It's sad, really.

While on the set of Labor Pains, Cheryl Hines wanted the paparazzi to know that there are other people in the movie besides Lindsay Lohan. Hines thought it would be nice if the photographers could expand their photographic horizons and take pictures of other people on set, too. Hines explained that she understands that Lohan is bit of a financial rainmaker for people, but she felt it would be nice if they took her photo from time to time. Hines enjoys having proof to show friends and family that she's working on a fairly regular basis.

We are deeply saddened to report that momager, pimp and our very own white Oprah, Ms. Dina Lohan, has signed with E! to film her long-lusted after reality show. According to the network's official press release, we shall be forced to view Dina's attempts to jumpstart the other ones' (Ali and Cody) careers in showbiz, and they'll tell you why the torturous Living Lohan is necessary:

We've long felt that the only thing standing between extravagantly talented actress and criminally mislabeled "party girl" Lindsay Lohan and a record-setting string of Oscar wins is the ongoing and coordinated efforts of the tabloid media to destroy her once-unimpeachable artistic credibility; for example, had the press not developed an untoward fixation with the sudden shrinkage and then re-bazooming of her her breasts, her subtle work in Herbie: Fully Loaded almost certainly would have received the awards attention it deserved. Lohan confirms our theory about the media's frustrating interference with her professional development: