On last night's Lopez Tonight, William Shatner continued the performance art that is his life by breaking out a spoken word-style cover of Cee-Lo's "F*ck You." Like his legendary "Rocket Man" performance, this is just fantastic.

Judah Friedlander was on Lopez Tonight to tell us why we should buy his book How To Beat Up Anybody. In this segment, the 30 Rock star explains how to dispatch unicyclists and ninjas.

Kathy Griffin talks about her Halloween on Lopez Tonight. She went to Paris Hilton's party to find a nice styrofoam cup of sizzurp to down in her naughty sailor costume for just for magazines shots. Well, Kathy: we're still waiting.

Jenny McCarthy discovered the art of self-pleasure with the help of her teddy bear Tubby. It helped lessen the guilt by having someone else take the religious load off her shoulders. A generation of teenage boys thanked her.

When Molly Ringwald "outed" Pretty in Pink's Ducky at a reunion, Jon Cryer got to thinking about his iconic 1986 character. According to Cryer, he saw Ducky as a street-smart kid and didn't mean to portray his character as gay.

So, Lauren Conrad, in all her banal chicness, told sort of a funny story! She was, like, attacked by monkeys. And even though this is a clip from Lopez Tonight, it's worth watching—we, like, promise! Video inside.

"I may not have a lip!" said the Blue Collar Comedy star. Yes, in the battle for low brow supremacy, Foxworthy and Lopez discussed how long he's had his moustache, as well as their roles in the upcoming Smurfs movie.

On last night's Lopez Tonight, we get a glimpse into what the terrorists are reading in the doctor's office. But as Lopez points out—who the hell goes into the magazine business in 2010? Now that's suicidal.

The village idiots from Jackass were subjected to a chaotic "game" on Lopez Tonight: Stun Gun Roulette. This wasn't cathartic or Dada, like all the critics are saying about Jackass, so I'd like to blame this one's lameness on Lopez.

Back in the 70's when mime culture was at its peak, Tom Bergeron (the host of our nation's top-rated show) used to be a mime. He once pissed off a biker gang during his act.

It seems the older and wiser Kelly Osbourne gets, the more charming and, well, likeable she becomes. Last night she appeared on Lopez Tonight and talked about her family, her new gig alongside Joan Rivers, and her interesting smoking habit.

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino banked 5 million last year, but he's worked hard for it. On Lopez Tonight, he divulges on his experience on Dancing With the Stars and also shares an (un)surprising David Hasselhoff story.

It's Always Sunny's Sweet Dee stopped by Lopez Tonight. Kaitlin Olson sounds like Dee: drinking beer to breastfeed and heckling a Phillies hater. The best part is Olson whispering "don't do this," when Lopez parades her post-baby body.

Between Kim Cattrall and Miley Cyrus, the fashion consultant offers an insight into the relationship between fashion and personality. Plus, has Sarah Palin been shopping at the North Korean H&M?

Between showing off his new dance moves and the incessant jokes about his small penis size, Ken Jeong's interview on Lopez Tonight was possibly the best late night guest we've seen in some time. How to do it, inside!

The Masterchef himself describes how even salad-eaters can be too picky about their meal. A Caesar salad with no dressing? Grabbing the salt and pepper? Just stay at home, please! Bleep-filled video with Gordon Ramsay, inside.

Charlie Day's portrayal of Green Man in an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia years ago has turned into a phenomenon. Spotted at sporting events, on the streets, on weirdos... do these people realize the significance of Green Man?

Although she admits that it is rewarding to know she is "making a person," Applegate admitted to George Lopez, on Lopez Tonight, that pregnancy is difficult and the side effects are making her feel like an unattractive "fat ass."

When Drew Barrymore and Justin Long first met, at a Playboy Halloween party no less, they decided to give each other ridiculous porno names. George Lopez decides to get his own sexy pseudonym, but sadly makes it decidedly tame.

Lopez Tonight shed some light on the controversial other Kardashian sister, "Kougar Kardashian." Kougar's plethora of younger boyfriends are revealed. I guess we can blame the 90's and Kougar for AC Slater's tank top obsession.