People are stupid. Pure and simple. Take, for example, rumors circulating that Michael Jackson, like Tupac and Elvis, still walks among us. Why would people believe such an outlandish thing? Again: they're stupid. And then there's this...

If the city of Los Angeles hadn't already earned its insufferability wings, it's about to! Curbed reports that the West Hollywood city council has approved plans for a West Coast Soho House outpost, and the neighbors are not pleased. [Curbed]

Is two a trend? Today, in the NY Times: Greenwich Village residents who hated Paul Sevigny's uber-hip nightlife destination/coke den, The Beatrice Inn. And in the LA Times: residents speculatively hating the forthcoming Sunset Strip outpost of SoHo House. Viva!

Remember "aerobics," that early 80s sartorial nightmare ushered in by Jane Fonda, Olivia Newton-John and Richard Simmons? Well, it's making a comeback in LA's Silver Lake neighborhood, where local hipsters are now sweating it out in spandex, leotards and leg-warmers.

Body-displaying sex symbol Jillian Barberie Reynolds still has a job as a, heh, "weather and lifestyle anchor" on Fox TV in L.A., while actual journalists are getting laid off. How long will we allow sexy ladies to defile our televisions?

Michael Jackson's memorial service happens in LA today. Is it a media circus out there? Check out the elephants! Eh? Seriously, it sounds like the media equivalent of the Superdome after Katrina. A brief rundown of the clusterfuckery:

Television reporters set up shop outside the Jackson family home in Encino. Los Angeles is going to spontaneously combust today. Mark my words. (AP/Jason Redmond)

Two anonymous Los Angeles-area bloggers visited seventeen all-vegan restaurants and had food samples from each tested in a lab. Seven of the restaurants failed, with some of them found to use real meat in their dishes. [Quarrygirl via Laist]

Yesterday we published the best and worst press release of all time from Charmaine Blake, "the most famous publicist," while she was on a date with Cliff Clavin. Now we've received an email from her "friend" claiming we've been "deceived."

So: Bret Easton Ellis is on the cover of expensive Amsterdam-based magazine Fantastic Man, drinking a Diet Coke. In it, he calls the soul-sucking experience that is The Hills "the greatest show that I have ever seen in my life."

Natalie Portman closed on the sale of her Charles Street condo a few months ago. And if you're prepared to believe what the Star is reporting this week, she's currently getting it on with a newly single Sean Penn. If in fact she is dating Penn, she won't have to travel quite as far to see her new beau: She's agreed to pay $3.25 million for a four-bedroom "mini-mansion" in the Los Feliz section of Los Angeles. [Real Estalker]

Do you need a job? Are you a young woman with "both head and body shots"? Do you have great hands? We have a job for you! You're gonna love it!

L.A. City Council president Eric Garcetti's Facebook status: "Eric Garcetti suggests you avoid Sunset Blvd in Hollywood for a while. Suspicious package at Bernstein High has area closed down. On scene. 31 minutes ago"

Antonio Villaraigosa, the absentee publicity whore mayor of Los Angeles, will not be heading to Washington. Villaraigosa was up on stage behind Barack Obama during last month's introduction of the magic economy-fixing team of advisors, for reasons that were utterly unclear (the man's financial expertise begins and ends with his ability to leverage an ineffective mayoralty into political superstardom). According to Antonio, he totally had a serious conversation with the president-elect about a possible appointment, but (once again according to Antonio) he turned Obama down.

Who pays attention to unions anymore? A bunch of carpenters picket your office because of a grievance with a contractor who works for the facilities department of the company on the floor below you. They might as well stencil WE ARE POWERLESS on their placards. But a couple of Los Angeles traffic engineers who work for that city's Automated Traffic Surveillance Center found a way to make "strike" an active verb again: They disabled four traffic lights at major intersections a couple of hours before a job action. The red-light gridlock lasted four days until the PHBs figured out how to reprogram things. Gabriel Murillo, 39, and Kartik Patel, 36 admitted to felony hacking as part of a plea bargain. I'm sure it sucked for commuters, but at least they didn't turn all the lights green. (Photo by AP/Nam Y. Huh)

Click to viewBoomp3.com Popular film actress Rosario Dawson appeared to be very excited about unloading some negative energy and loading up on the positive vibes at a Los Angeles loading station. Dawson said, “There’s just so much negativity in the world and thank goodness there’s a place where I can unload and stock up on the good vibes without having to go San Pedro.” [Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Last night's New York movies and TV post seemed to make people happy, so it would be kind of unfair to ignore our main competition as a location for silver and little screen productions. Besides, it's a wise blogger who holds onto a promising theme until it's bled dry. So! La-la Land, Hollywood, City of Angels... the choices are practically endless. Heck, that's where they make all the movies and TV shows! What's your favorite? I'll get us going after the jump.

In the long-fought battle between New York and Los Angeles, New York has finally won. In terms of which city is better for openly gay actors, at least. After Elton runs a feature today interviewing various gay thespians (redunnndant) about the trials and tribulations of both playing dress up and publicly doing it with men. And one thing is made abundantly clear. Los Angeles has a long and noble history of shaming its gay players into sham hetero relationships and degrading game show appearances, while New York has always let its freak pflag fly and welcomed queers with open arms: "Everyone knows everyone, and it's fantastic. No one cares if you're gay," says homo actor Christopher Sieber (best known for playing the Olsen twins' dad on the important sitcom Two of a Kind) of his experiences in New York City. Adds Xanadu actor Cheyenne Jackson, "People know if you've got the goods, if you're easy to work with, and if you can get the job done. Besides it's New York theater. Everybody's gay!" Except sometimes even New York isn't perfect:

Part of Heath Ledger's appeal, to a certain breed of cultural snob, was geographic. The Australian actor, who had come to Hollywood at the age of 19, received less attention from the paparazzi and the entertainment media complex when he crossed to New York. But, in exchange, he gained some cultural cachet.

Paper magazine blogger and faded it-boy Fabian Basabe is still really enjoying his new adopted hometown of Los Angeles. Did you know that it's sunnier there? "When in New York City, people are struggling with the incoming cold weather, meetings, sirens and crowds, while everything is so pretty out here in LA! People are genuinely happier and I mean... why not? Everyone is good looking! And on my part, today I had a killer meeting about a new show concept, ate lunch outside, and came home to sit in my jacuzzi for 45 minutes and now I am watching TV while trying to focus. Not bad right? Work AND play! And did I mention everyone is good looking in LA?" Careful, Fabian: Before you put your money down and buy a car, consider that all the stars who never were are selling cars and pumping gas. [Paper]