This could have been bad: According to an excerpt from Deep State: Inside the Government Secrecy Industry by Marc Ambinder and D.B. Grady, a Secret Service agent accidentally discharged his shotgun outside New York's InterContinental Hotel in fall 2006, nearly shooting Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the process. The incident took place during the United Nations General Assembly and was described in a brief item in one of President George W. Bush's daily intelligence briefs.

Consummate terribly unfunny jokester Senator John McCain—he of the infamous gorilla rape quip—is back at it again on Twitter, this time with a crack about how Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is nothing but a monkey. Get it?

Following a recent segment on Piers Morgan where President Ahmadinejad—leader of the not-so-free world—basically said that Israel should be "wiped off the map" and homosexuality is The Most Disgusting Thing Ever, SNL's Fred Armisen made an appearance as Fake Mahmoud Ahmadinejad last night. Let's be honest though, no one would be shocked to learn that Ahmadinejad actually plays "Jew or Homosexual" for money. Except instead of money they use nuclear weapons.

Matt Drudge's latest foray into barely subliminal messaging doesn't involve evil black youths beating up kindly white people. Instead, it shows Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President Obama, and Nancy Pelosi all making the same gesture, establishing them as equally evil. Cute!

Iranian President/huge Whitney fan Mahmoud Ahmadinejad provoked walkouts at an address to the United Nations General Assembly on Thursday. What was the big deal?

Iranian short person Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told Ann Curry today that Americans Shane Bauer and Josh Fattal will be set free "in two days," after spending over two years in jail for illegally crossing into Iran and for "spying." [NBC]

You know how you know you're probably a miserable, murderous, Middle East tyrant? When Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad calls you up and says, "Bashie? Mahmoud here. Oh, good, good. Azam and the kids are terrific! Thanks for asking. Listen, Bash, I absolutely adore your work. You know that. Great stuff. There's no one who can brutally put down an uprising like you can. Oh, stop, you flatter me. That? That was barely an uprising! That was, like, two undergrads with a Tweeter machine and a little tear gas. No, but you. You're the man. You can't see this, but I'm high-fiving you right now! Ha ha ha! No, but listen hear me out for a second here. Maybe you should think about turning down the dial a bit on this whole 'mass-murdering of your own people' thing? What? No! Not too much! Never too much. But you know how the Westerners are. They're all 'barbaric' this, 'unarmed protesters mowed down with gunboats' that. Oh crap! I'm late for my two o'clock gay hanging. Can we pick this up tomorrow? You got it. Send my love to Asma. Saw the Vogue spread. Fabulous."

Iranian government officials are loving the riots in Britain. In a flurry of statements over the last couple of days, lawmakers have attacked the police response and said they'd like to send human rights observers to London to keep an eye on events there. Iran's Majlis are even thinking about closing the British embassy in Tehran.

Vertically-challenged Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad either has some pretty bad luck when it comes to being near oddly-timed explosions, or someone doesn't like him. Last August, someone tossed a grenade set off celebratory fireworks next to Ahmadinejad's motorcade. And today, at the inauguration of an oil refinery, an explosion killed two people right before Ahmadinejad was to give a speech. State-run media says it's no big deal. And, it turns out, someone should have listened to the damn Germans:

Why has Iran suffered through so many droughts over the last few years? Many people would say "weather patterns, or whatever." But Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad knows the truth! "Western countries have designed plans to cause drought in certain areas of the world," he said in a speech in the Iranian city of Arak. And not only that! "European countries are using special equipment to force clouds to dump" rain on their own countries.

An influential former supporter of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Ayatollah Mohammad Taghi Mesbah Yazdi, told the Iranian magazine Shoma that the president has been acting "unnaturally" due to a spell that was cast by his main adviser, Esfandiar Rahim Mashaei.

The "unprecedented" power struggle in Iran between its supreme leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad could lead to the latter's imminent resignation. Here's a great briefing on the dirty politics behind all of this, including yesterday's witchcraft arrests.

An ongoing fight between Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and supreme leader Ayatollah Khamenei has taken a turn for the weird, as several of the president's closest advisers have been arrested and charged with being "magicians" and invoking djinns, or spirits.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was called the "George Steinbrenner of Iran" in a leaked 2009 U.S. diplomatic cable made public by Wikileaks, after he fired two soccer coaches from Team Melli weeks apart from each other. Ahmadinejad also kept secret files on the team's players, similar to when Steinbrenner payed a gambler to dig up dirt on Yankees outfielder Dave Winfield.

Back in January, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's badass 1977 Peugeot 504 went up on the auction block to benefit disabled people in Tehran. Well, it sold! For $2.5 million. Who was the highest bidder? According to AFP:

A diamond in the rough of Wikileaks' latest diplomatic cable leak: a memo about the time a military hardliner slapped Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the face for being too "liberal."

It was the year Christina Aguilera attacked Lady Gaga and Whoopi Goldberg stormed off The View. Conan O'Brien defied his boss and world leaders threatened to kill a psychic octopus. A guide to the bloodiest feuds of 2010.

Oh boy, we hope this happens: Evil Ned Flanders (né John Bolton) is considering a White House run in 2012, because if "inexperienced senators from Illinois" can do it, why can't he? He's coming for your ass, Ahmadinejad! [Politico]

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad told state-run newspaper Jam-e Jam that Iran's family planning program is "ungodly" and that girls should be getting married at 16, because the average Iranian woman gets married at 24 and there's "no reason for this."

The only released prisoner of three Americans detained in Iran since last year, Sarah Shourd, met with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad yesterday in New York "in order to clear up any misunderstanding that led to our detention."