In a tale as old as terror itself, the shocker became the shockee last weekend when an irate diner is said to have sucker-punched Marilyn Manson at an Alberta, Canada Denny's.

Marilyn Manson says disturbing footage that leaked last month, showing the simulated rape of Lana Del Rey, was "not for my video." The singer told NME that Hostel director Eli Roth filmed the scene to test a camera, and it was later released out of context by a video editing company.

Unreleased footage from a 2012 collaboration between Marilyn Manson and Hostel director Eli Roth leaked online last night, and it includes a very hard-to-watch scene depicting Roth holding down and raping singer Lana del Rey.

Frequent Marilyn Manson collaborator Johnny Depp joined the paint-face rocker on stage at the Roxy in Los Angeles this Halloween, where he shredded on guitar and kept his sunglasses on. Ninja from Die Antwoord was also there, and the whole thing was very strange.

HBO's Eastbound & Down is out-of-control good this season, which makes its imminent series finale (two episodes left!) really hard to cope with (it's to the extent that typing "imminent series finale" just now hurt my heart). Marilyn Manson made an out-of-makeup (at least the usual makeup) cameo on last night's episode as a roller-rink employee deemed a loser on sight by Danny McBride's antihero character Kenny Powers. Manny's cutting in only to be humiliated. This show is so good I'm sure it was worth it.

His Wikipedia page remains unchanged, but Marilyn Manson could very well be dead right now.

Dita Von Teese, the only burlesque queen that your mom knows by name, is currently plugging her new beauty book. In an 2600 word interview with beauty site Into The Gloss, she runs through her makeup routine in heavy detail. She also briefly talks about how she and ex-husband Marilyn Manson used to dye their hair black together, which really just warms your little black heart.

Marilyn Manson shocked millions (rough estimate) when he walked through security with "FUCK YOU" written on his mouth and neck.

German publication B.Z. has shed some light on the apocalyptic coming together of the Manilow*, Manson, Del Rey trio, pictured together at the Echo Music Awards in Germany: Marilyn Manson and Lana Del Rey are dating. B.Z. is supposedly in possession of photographic evidence that the once-rumored Wonder Years star and forever-rumored self-fellating rocker is having hotel sleepovers with Lana Del Rey.

Behold: Lana Del Rey, Marilyn Manson and Barry Manilow — backstage, as far as I can tell, at the Echo Music Awards in Germany a couple nights ago. "And thus I saw the horses in the vision, and them that sat on them, having breastplates of fire, and of jacinth, and brimstone: and the heads of the horses were as the heads of lions; and out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone. By these three was the third part of men killed, by the fire, and by the smoke, and by the brimstone, which issued out of their mouths. For their power is in their mouth, and in their tails: for their tails were like unto serpents, and had heads, and with them they do hurt." [via]

Evan Rachel Wood wants you to know that she sometimes dates women. Lindsay Lohan uses Good Friday to get out of court. Lea Michele pulls a bitch move at Coachella. Nic Cage goes back to work. Tuesday gossip is single and ready to mingle.

• Gwyneth Paltrow got into a minor car crash on the icy streets of London the other day. Don't worry—she wasn't hurt fine—although she may want to reconsider that all-juice "fast" she started at the beginning of the new year. [DM]
• The little girl that Casey Johnson adopted a few years ago, Ava, will be raised by her mother and sisters, according to reps for the family. And the Tila Tequila's craziness continues. Yesterday, she emerged from her house to pose in a skanky outfit for photographers, and she continues to rant on about her "fiancée" on Twitter. Meanwhile, Johnson's former girlfriend, Courtenay Semel—who set Johnson's hair on fire a year ago—has been speaking out, as has Johnson's other former girlfriend—model Jasmine Lennard, who accused Johnson late last year of robbing her and leaving a used vibrator in her bed.
• The reason for Gary Coleman's recent hospitalization? He says he had "a little seizure activity" after he found out that the producers of a film he worked on recently had no plans to remove a full-frontal shot of him. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan claimed the other day that one of her friends stole sketches of her new clothing collection. But now two different designers have come out to accuse LiLo of copying their designs. The president of LiLo's company says the claims are "false and have no merit or validity whatsoever." [People]

When you go crawling back to the ex you moulded in the shape of another ex who wouldn't take you back, it's time for readjusting, not a wedding. Sharon Stone joins Law & Order: SVU, A-Rod hooks up. Gossip!

Actor Bradley Cooper turns 35 today. January Jones of Mad Men is turning 32. Charlie Rose is 68. Diane Keaton is turning 64. Actor Robert Duvall is 79. Publishing heiress Amanda Hearst is 26. Marilyn Manson is turning 41. Former Vice President Walter Mondale is 82. Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell turns 66 today. King Carlos of Spain is turning 72. Fashion reporter Steven Cojocaru is 45. Carrie Ann Inaba, the judge from Dancing with the Stars, is turning 42. The Hills' Kristin Cavallari is 23. And former Love Boat actor Ted Lange celebrates his 62nd birthday today.

Rocker Marilyn Manson has been diagnosed with Swine Flu.

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds are struggling, men are turning against Megan Fox, Bar Refaeli is boning a "Brazilian playboy" named Ricardo, Kid Rock hates Twitter, Marilyn Manson issues threats and Kate Beckinsale parties with Eva Longoria and Victoria Beckham.

Blake Lively receives the most inspired compliment in the history of the universe, Heidi Pratt is either dying or lying, and A-Rod's showing off his new girlfriend to the team. Presenting your Sunday morning gossip roundup:

Jon and Kate are packing legal heat, now; so is Evan Dando, and Kobe Bryant's maid, which finally gives TMZ the opportunity to teach readers about legislative law. Also, Marilyn Manson and Nazi Pubes. Your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Heiress and social fixture Amanda Hearst turns 25 today. Charlie Rose is celebrating his 67th. Diane Keaton is turning 63. Fashion "expert" Steven Cojocaru is 44. Actor Robert Duvall is 78. Former Vice President Walter Mondale is 81. King Carlos of Spain is 71. Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell is turning 65. And Marilyn Manson is celebrating his 40th birthday today.

♦ Now that she doesn't have Guy Ritchie to boss around, Madonna is finding more time to control everyone else: She's supposedly been "begging" Gwyneth Paltrow to leave her London home so they can spend more time together in New York. She's also busy orchestrating a reunion between Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears: All three will be performing together at Madge's concert in LA tonight. [The Sun, E!]
♦ Padma Lakshmi is apparently on a "man-search" for a filthy rich boyfriend now that her flings with Ted Forstmann and Russell Simmons are over. [P6]
♦ Now that the election is over, Tina Fey says she will be officially retiring her Sarah Palin impression. [Extra]