What is this we spy with our jaded eye? It is a new Mark Penn patented Microtrend column. We have not forgotten you, Mark Penn, you shady, shady character! Today, Mark Penn explains why god is dumb.

PR-man-masquerading-as-newspaper-columnist Mark Penn invented the term "Soccer Mom," which, of course, is the queen of all Microtrends. But now he's declaring the whole Soccer Mom thing dunzo! What catchphrase will you hang your hat on now, Señor Penn?

Mark Penn has not published a self-serving WSJ column since 9/16. We miss you, Mark!

Trendy flack Mark Penn promised the WSJ that his evil PR firm would stop using his newspaper column as a tool to troll for PR clients. Instead, he's just writing columns off of surveys by his own polling firm!

Lo! Like a slow, squawking bird sent down from heaven to a desultory duck hunting expedition, Microtrend-inventing flack Mark Penn is back with another WSJ column. His first since we learned how dirty he is!

Microtrend-spotting genius Mark Penn hasn't had a new WSJ column since it was pointed out that he's using the column to recruit PR clients. (Which the WSJ doesn't care about!). Potential clients are waiting, Mark! What are you—chicken??

We were disappointed yesterday when the cowardly Wall Street Journal failed to fire faux-trendspotting flack Mark Penn for using his newspaper column to troll for PR clients. But—hearteningly—both Penn and the paper appear increasingly pathetic!

• A&E has agreed to acquire Lifetime, which means it's not entirely out of the realm of synergistic possibility that Duane Chapman of Dog the Bounty Hunter will make a cameo on Project Runway sometime next season. Yay. [THR, NYT]
• The Daily News has dropped its restaurant critic, Danyelle Freeman, and doesn't appear to be making any plans to replace her. [P6, NYT]
• Another luxury magazine is coming! The Financial Times plans to bring its quarterly glossy, FT Wealth, to American shores this October. [Crain's]
• It's been nearly two years since Oprah announced plans to launch a cable channel, and the venture's been riddled with problems ever since. [LAT]
• Italian officials are now investigating Google for its "lack of transparency." Yes, the same Italy that's governed by a man named Silvio Berlusconi. [NYT]
• Larry David will be bringing the cast of Seinfeld together for a multi-episode appearance on the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Which makes sense considering it's not like Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, or Michael Richards have anything better to do, now do they? [EW, LAT]

Yesterday we reported that Microtrend-spouting flack Mark Penn's PR firm was using his Wall Street Journal column to drum up PR business. Penn is ethically compromised. But today, the WSJ tells us they're keeping Penn on as a columnist. Cowards.

Mark Penn, the strategist who dashed Hillary Clinton's presidential hopes, is the Wall Street Journal's "Microtrend"-spotting columnist. He's also CEO of PR giant Burson-Marsteller. Only a scumbag would abuse the former to drum up business for the latter.

You've heard of the "staycation." One more travel trend that is now benefiting from the recession, at least according to spin doctor Mark Penn: glamping. For people who don't have any interest in going camping and actually roughing in, but can't really afford to stay in a $650 a night hotel room in Europe for a week, glamping—or glamorous camping—is all the rage, Penn says.

Have they moved Mark Penn's fortnightly genius column to Saturdays just to thwart us? No matter! This week's Microtrend secretly shaping our society: Glamorous Camping, or "glamping." (Utter silence). Uhhh. Maybe Saturday is the right day. [WSJ]

American genius thinker of the first order Mark Penn has produced yet another newspaper column, about a Microtrend, as is his wont. This one is about how We Are All Bosses Now and features many nonsensical space-filling words, namely:

Paltry idea-hustler Mark Penn's column today actually contains a single legitimately interesting fact(!). It also affords an easy joke opportunity at Mark Penn's expense! He is an Elite.

Mark Penn, failed campaign strategist and head of one of the world's most ostentatiously amoral PR firms, has used polling and research to ferret out a new microtrend: People are pessimistic, these days. That will be one million dollars. [WSJ]

Does trying to convince people unsure about the shaky economy and plunging home values to sign mortgages seem like a good idea, right now? Pollster Grifter Mark Penn thinks so!

Men: poor dumb fat drunk losers. It's a microtrend!

"Everyone today wants to be a professional and most people believe they are." But most of you are deluded. Mark Penn is here to tell you why. And to spout further generalizations, for money!

Google's G1 is the biggest enemy of Apple's iPhone. And Apple is making a big push into the Web. So it's totally hunky-dory that Google and Apple share board members, right? Wrong, say antitrust cops.

Hillary Clinton is holding a contest to sucker people into paying her debt to Mark Penn. You can choose a prize, including a not-creepy-at-all day with Bill Clinton. We ask, which is the most bearable?