"Everyone today wants to be a professional and most people believe they are." But most of you are deluded. Mark Penn is here to tell you why. And to spout further generalizations, for money!

Nobody wants to be in the "middle class" any more. Nowadays most people describe themselve to pollsters as "professionals." Even though they are not, by traditional standards! Just look at some of the riff-raff trying to up their social stations now:

But the definition of professional has expanded. Most people in the fields of advertising, communications, health care and computer science consider themselves professionals

Ha, that would make Mark Penn a professional, which is prima facie ridiculous. Of course, the fact that his whole new Professional class is an illusion doesn't stop Mark Penn from declaring them to the new Soccer Moms, which is a Microtrend. Tell us, Mark Penn, what are the secret characteristics of this laughably inclusive made-up group?

Today's new professional is better educated, better read, more plugged-in, more socially tolerant, more environmentally conscious — and while they like individuality in how they dress and act, they are much more open to having government solve our problems. Jobs like "network" engineer are all about improving collaboration.

No price is too high to pay for such insight.
[WSJ. Pic via]