Working from his custom-built home computer, Japanese engineer Shigeru Kondo used American programmer Alexander Yee's software y-cruncher to calculate pi to 5 trillion decimal places, a new record. Kondo's wife and mother, when told, expressed "no particular feelings." How... irrational!

Despite the fact that college degrees are worthless, kids these days are scrambling to attend any school, no matter how fake, out of desperation. The real victims: the colleges. What are they going to do with all you kids?

Finally, some good news, from a new Congressional report: fewer and fewer poor kids are going to college. Fantastic. Leave that money-sucking scam camp for the richies.

We support this mathemagical campaign to name 10 to the 27th power a "Hella."

A British scientist says he's discovered a secret code in the works of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato. What is "the hidden philosophy of Plato"? And how can we market it?

Back in the good old days (ten years ago), rich countries accounted for the majority of the world's GDP, as has been the good and proper economic custom since the times of Pontius Pilate. Not any more!

Martin Gardner, amateur mathematician, puzzle writer and dumb-people hater, died this weekend at age 95.

Spanish mathematician Jose-Manuel Rey has calculated the "second thermodynamic law for sentimental interaction" and charted the trajectory of "sentimental equilibrium." Just like a relationship that is falling apart, it is as complicated as it is inscrutable.

A new study of future math teachers around the world gave Americans a grade of "C" when it comes to being smart in math, by math teacher standards. Which is just fine. Until you see who beat us.

The Way We Live Now: Spending ourselves to death. The way we're unable to comprehend simple arithmetic, you'd think we were all educated in America's public schools. Hmm, what's everything we have minus everything? Can we still afford a VitaminWater?

Let us celebrate this most nerdy 3.14 with a videos of preternaturally intelligent children reciting hundreds of digits of pi from memory. They can't tie their shoes, but they could balance your checkbook.

We here at Gawker were very saddened to learn today that our arch-nemesis Nikki Finke's Deadline.com beat us in traffic last month. Our boss is gonna kill us! Lucky for us, it's not true. At all.

The Way We Live Now: Like a smooth criminal. Well, "smooth" is not quite the right word. Desperate? Yes. And occasionally inept. There are no banks left to rob. There's no bull market left to milk!

Number-talkin' scientists report that Americans can speak English and count to ten, but not at the same time. A study shows that our brains perceive the vowel sounds in "two" to represent something large, while the vowel sounds in "three" represent something small (in our brains, still). So people estimated that a $3 item marked down to $2.22 was actually more expensive than a $3 item marked down to $2.33.

This article today does us all a great service by reminding us to remind you that numerology—like the concept of juice-based "cleansing" systems—is bullshit. If you believe in it, stop now. It is so dumb.

After the New York Times announced that it's cutting 100 more newsroom jobs, guess what happened, virally? Many commenters begged to be allowed to pay for the paper's online content! Is this the NYT's salvation? Ha, no.

The Way We Live Now: There's a high probability that it's not "in poverty!" Five-sixths of us are not officially languishing in the fetid cesspool of government-defined economic despair. There's always that one out of six, yes. That happens occasionally.

Math is hard and taxes are Satan's invoices, which is why Fox News' Clayton Morris calls it an "honest mistake" to claim $10 in income when you made $1,000,000: Who can figure those "stinkin' tax forms" out anyway?

The Way We Live Now: Revenge-d by the nerds. Statisticians are the new Hedge Fund Guys. The less math-y among us are just marks for con artists and shady Metrocard machines. But: hot stock tip, below!

Two brazen Boston bidders have actually put in bids for the teetering Boston Globe! If our quick math is right, the bids should be in the area of... negative $96 million.