No dis-R-E-S-P-E-C-T intended, but Aretha Franklin needs to learn how to be cool at a party. TMZ is reporting that she was both the first guest to arrive at and the first to leave Sarah Jessica Parker's $40,000-a-head Barack Obama fundraising dinner Thursday night.

Longtime West Villagers Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker have reportedly purchased a $21 million townhouse on the Upper West Side. It has eight bedrooms, 10 bathrooms, and two walk-in closets so big you could practically live in them!

The Longoria-Parkers face conflicting rumors about adultery and divorce. Pink is pregnant. Stewart-Pattinson probably didn't get married, but Ochocinco will soon. Wednesday gossip is at loggerheads.

[Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick in the West Village today. Photo via Splash]

Poor Ferris has finally snapped and taken to a life of crime. Also today: A show starring a beloved actress is canceled, another show will feature a non-beloved non-actress, and we fantasize about yet another TV show.

[Anderson Cooper leaves The Lion restaurant in West Village after having dinner with Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband Matthew Broderick New York City. Click through for more Coop John B. Photo via WENN.]

Today at Gawker.TV, Jon Stewart bids farewell to Tony Hayward, Heidi Klum talks about pants-pooping with Regis Philbin, Kristen Schaal's worst job ever, zombie Dick Cheney, and Louis C.K. tries to act alongside Matthew Broderick on Louie.

Last night's episode of Louie might have been the funniest thing on TV in ages. Laughing the whole way through the episode made it difficult to select the best highlights from the show, but we tried our best. Hilarity inside.

Today at Gawker.TV, a mashup of all the times the term "thrown under the bus" was used on The Celebrity Apprentice, Brody Jenner's a douche, and a look back at the worst TV shows from the past decade.

Sarah Jessica Parker stopped by Letterman last night to promote Sex and the City 2 but the topic soon switched to her husband, Matthew Broderick, who is apparently the one responsible for their son's small stature.

We were too busy trying to find something to watch on TV to actually attend the Sex and the City 2 premiere. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern went in our stead. Here is her adventure.

Celebrities have descended on Central Park. In this weekend's #stalker sightings: Blythe Danner, Vince Vaughn, Amanda Peet. Elsewhere: Tinsley Mortimer, Owen Wilson, Mary-Louise Parker, Zach Braff, and Matthew Broderick.

In a TV show guys, jeez. She's not that hard-up. Also today: pilot casting news from Patton Oswalt and others, the Footloose remake keeps hitting snags, and the original Ren lands a movie.

Heidi Klum leaving the Mercer Hotel in SoHo and later turning up at ABC studios for an appearance on Regis & Kelly ... Alicia Silverstone riding the subway with husband Christopher Jarecki ... Whitney Port filming a skin care commercial in SoHo ... Natalie Cole going to dinner at Nello ... Mad Men's John Slattery walking his dog in SoHo ... Liev Schreiber carrying son Sasha on his shoulders ... Angela Lansbury arriving at the Pierre Hotel ... Rachel Weisz getting in a car ... Matthew Broderick walking with his son in the West Village ... and Pierce Brosnan going to lunch with Irish singer Ronan Tynan.

NBC's new new show will follow around celebrities as they discover their true family history. Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Spike Lee, Brooke Shields, Emmit Smith, and Susan Sarandon will each star in their own episode. The trailer, inside.

• Jon Stewart will face off against Bill O'Reilly when he enters the "No Spin Zone" tomorrow evening. In somewhat related news, pedicure-loving ex-congressman (and wanna-be Senator) Harold Ford hit Colbert last night.
• Is the magazine industry on the verge of a turnaround? Let's hope so! [AA]
• TV news: ABC is thinking of moving The View to the afternoon; Fox confirms it's had "conversations" with Conan about a late-night show, but hasn't had any real "negotiations"; and Matthew Broderick may be coming to the small screen.
• Layoffs: Big cuts went down at CBS News yesterday afternoon. And Sony Pictures has announced that it's cutting 450 positions at the studio.
• For the first time in a long time, CNN has surpassed MSNBC in primetime. Neither network is close to catching up with Fox News, though. [Politico, LAT]
• A reality show about The Oprah Winfrey Show is coming to Oprah's new cable channel next January. The network will also be home to shows about imprisoned women, "miracle detectives," and workaholic parents. [NYT]
• News Corp. is in talks with James Cameron about an Avatar sequel. [THR]
• Did you catch the New York Post's "prosti-dude" story today? Some staffers at the paper were a little less than thrilled with the PR stunt, it seems. [Gawker]
• Condé Nast's new fraud hotline should make ratting out co-workers (for stealing office supplies, expensing meals with friends, etc.) much easier! [NYP]
• More on this morning's Oscar nominations. [THR, NYT, TE, LAT]
• Meet Hollywood's top 40 moneymakers for 2009. [Vanity Fair]

Natalie Portman walking to her trailer on the set of Black Swan ... Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito arriving at JFK ... Denis Leary shooting scenes for Rescue Me ... Kelly Rutherford picking up an iced tea at Yura On Madison ... Naomi Watts pushing her sons in a stroller ... Matthew Broderick walking with son James in the West Village ... Kelsey Grammer and wife Camille arriving at JFK ... Blake Lively walking with her bodyguard to the Gossip Girl set ... Vampire Diaries co-star Ian Somerhalder heading into Vento on Hudson Street ... and Kelly Bensimon of Real Houswives and Jersey Shore's Pauly D attending a charity event at Chelsea Piers.

Matthew Broderick is coming to television. Orlando Bloom will play a creepy doctor. Anti-gay activist Anita Bryant might get a biopic. Sony Layoffs are here, though not queer. The Trade Roundup: Come, let us round this up.

Alec Baldwin taking a coffee break on the set of 30 Rock ... Mischa Barton leaving the Cooper Square Hotel with her dog in tow and getting into a waiting SUV ... Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony leaving the Gansevoort hotel ... Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz walking home with their baby ... Brendan Fraser getting out of an SUV in front of his hotel ... Matthew Broderick walking with his son James in the Village ... Harrison Ford arriving at the Late Show with David Letterman ... Chace Crawford on the set on the set of Gossip Girl ... and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi posing for pics outside the Wendy Williams Show.

Uma Thurman and son Levon Roan eating pizza on the street ... Hugh Jackman heading home after a trip to the gym ... Diana Ross leaving a building on Fifth Avenue ... JoJo walking into her hotel in Tribeca ... Taylor Momsen hanging out with her mom on the set of Gossip Girl in Queens ... Matthew Broderick walking son James to school ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment on the Upper West Side ... and Lady Gaga arriving at Radio City Music Hall last night.