Late on Friday, Associated Press executive editor Kathleen Carroll sent around a memo noting the closure of asap, the A.P.'s multimedia attempt to keep up with the kids. asap, said Carroll, was a "wildly inventive source of stories and sounds and pictures and video unlike those found anywhere else" and a "terrific journalism success," which was good at everything except, you know, making any money. (But what did them in? Was it the content-free Q&A with Jonathan Safran Foer? Was it their insistence on addressing the youngster via use of the second person?) No word yet on what's going to happen to the unit's 24 staffers, but with all the prize-winning journalism they've created over the last two years, it shouldn't be too hard for them to find other work. Full memo below.

Just in from Forbes HQ: "We will be announcing tomorrow that Forbes has retained Cushman & Wakefield to pursue the sale of the headquarters building at 60 Fifth Avenue. As with many other media companies, such as Conde Nast and The New York Times, our business has simply outgrown our building. Recently we have begun talks with key developers in the city to create a new headquarters in New York City. We are planning that Forbes will remain at 60 Fifth Avenue and 90 Fifth Avenue for the next few years. As plans develop, we will keep you informed."

Ooh! After rogue Internet retailers sent their customers their copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows EARLY, Scholastic flipped. Whatever can they do? Well, basically, they're screwed, so they're appealing to everyone's humanity to try to keep this thing under wraps until Saturday. Also, suing the sellers. Lotsa luck with that. The pleading press release, in all of its futility, follows.

"Will Fred Thompson's hot-ass wife prove a liability or an asset on the campaign trail? As someone whose nads had yet to drop until well into the Reagan administration but who still gets the occasional rise out of Rosalynn Carter fantasies, I can only issue my whole-shafted endorsement. Chick has got it going on." [NYT]

New York Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr. and his right-hand woman, Times Co. CEO Janet Robinson, sent out a memo this afternoon to let everyone know they're re-establishing the "Diversity Advisory Council" at the paper. Sounds to us like someone in the newsroom complained, doesn't it? Also, there are going to be "Employee Affinity Groups" for "the common interests of women, those of African, Asian, or Latino heritage and the LGBT community." Not a member of one of those groups? Don't worry; they're "open to all employees." The full memo after the jump.

"So let's be honest: You know there's some couple out there that has already spiced up their sex life by performing the Peter Braunstein fantasy. You can almost hear the conversation: "C'mon, baby, I'll get the smoke bombs and the fireman outfit; it'll be so hot!" And her resigned reply: "Okay, but you have to buy me two bottles of Cristal." Also: Even money on the possibility that at least one of them works in the fashion industry."

There's an email circulating today among the ad sales people on the 19th floor of the new Times building—let's just say that it's a good thing it's summer and people aren't eating lunch at their desks as much! Or, you know... eek! Mice! The email follows.

Joe "Private Dancer" Sexton sent out a memo to his Metro staff this morning about City Room, the new blog headed up by Times favorite son Sewell Chan. Things are going swimmingly! Except it seems that some reporters need more than a gentle nudge to start contributing: "Expect that Sewell and Patrick and Jim and Lexi and I will be reaching out to you. We need breaking news updates; supplemental material that didn't make its way into the paper; off-the-beat observations and anecdotes; links to primary sources like Web pages and PDF's that can help the reader who wants more context; and more. Sometimes it's as simple as a phone call or email to us." (Wonder how the union feels about all that?) But Sexton, unlike Rick Stengel over at Time, hasn't resorted to threatening his reporters if they don't contribute to the website. Yet. The full memo follows.

A most important email missive just went out to the staff at InStyle. An actress who was on the Most Important Television Show Of Our Time will be in the office! But please don't get too close.

Yesterday, Time Inc. chairman and chief executive Ann Moore did a Q&A with the Wall Street Journal. One of the things she said was:

A memo just went out to the staff of the Times, alerting them that although they'll be expected to put out a paper in the new building this weekend, they will have to—gasp, shudder, etc.—work without keyboard trays. Perhaps anticipating the inevitable backlash, the memo begins, "We all need to be patient, knowing that all open issues are being addressed and will be closed as soon as possible." In other words, STFU! You'll work without a keyboard tray, and you'll like it! You'll also use Times Reader and like it, but probably not as much. Oh, and there's a dock strike in Italy, so the furniture in your cube might look like it fell off the back of a truck. Full memo after the jump.

Seems as though not everyone on the Metro desk possesses the same alacrity of mind, and typing skills, as the recently departed Sewell Chan. (Departed for NYT blog-land, that is! Not departed-departed.) Anyway, things have gotten so bad that Metro Editor Joe Sexton was inspired to send out a memo to his underlings outlining his discontent. The subject was in all caps—DO NOT TRASH THIS—but the post itself? All lower-case! We have a friend who says that when a guy writes you in all lower-case letters, it means he's trying to get in your pants in a non-threatening way (crafty!), so we can only imagine what Joe Sexton was thinking when he sent this out.

When we posted the memo from Merrill Lynch about its cruel new sick days policy, we had a good chuckle at their expense and kind of forgot about it. What do we know from investment banks! Not our beat! Whatever! But it turns out that some actual financial journalists noticed, too. And they explained things to us.

Time has just hired former ABC News political director Mark Halperin. So that whole thing where we made fun of Eric Alterman for being all, "Time magazine is a right-wing talking point rag that only hires Republicans?" Maybe he was right! Halperin, while not a Republican, is the next best thing: Someone so cowed by accusations of "liberal media bias" that he will bend over backwards and fold himself into some kind of geometrically-improbable shape to give the G.O.P. the right to define the story. So keep shouting about this, Alterman, you may yet get that job at Time you so obviously covet.

Good news, Chicago Tribune employees! The 100 or so of you who will get laid off will get a minimum of three months of health insurance! That is so awesome. Also a minimum of four weeks pay, which isn't the worst. Anyway, okay, bye, get out! At least they only tangentially used the ridiculous post-language corporate phrase "Employee Voluntary Separation Program" that they used out at the LA Times for their lay-offs. Because that would have made the Trib people sound like totally cool people. Or assholes, either way!

So Life magazine, which seems to have had nine of them, has once more shuffled off this mortal coil. Time Inc. CEO Ann Moore's barely-moved farewell to the mag follows. For more information about 'Life' magazine, ask your great-grandparents.

Editor and executive vice president of Long Island daily Newsday John Mancini sent his staff such a memo today. Is memo the right word? It's more like something between a cri de coeur and a call to arms. It's about how Newsday (it exists!) needs to be as "modern and forward thinking" as Long Island itself, and to that end, it needs to adapt to these new Internet times. It might even need to seek input from You! "Our world has been digitally re-mastered ... Now our task is to transform Newsday," John writes. He has clearly not yet learned rule one of mastering the internet: no earnestness allowed.

Here's the Time Inc. head Ann Moore's "peace out, suckers" memo to the newly-sold kids at Time 4 Media.

If you're like us, you cannot get enough information about the NYT's move into Casa Piano. Will they still keep the 212 area code? Who's managing food services? Will Bill Keller's giant tribal penis totem fit in the new space? Well, here's every detail you could hope for, in the shape of a memo sent out to employees. Eco-friendly (but not tree-huggingly so) information after the jump.

Here's a nice little number that went out to People's stringers from News Editor Rob Howe in the wake of this morning's bloodbath. The good news: They're needed more than ever. Full, reassuring details after the jump.