We're almost certain that no one's as sick to death as we are of the tired old 'Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko = inferior cunnilingus' joke (with the exception, perhaps, of "Adorable" Dave himself). So we were flooded with a mix of emotions when we learned that he'd once again provided us with a perfect setup. In an AdAge piece on how he and Cosmo E in C Kate White will edit sections of each others' respective mags' May issues, Dave describes the switcheroo like so:
Here's today's dose of wisdom for guys from the Men's Health website. It's good advice, and we think the world would be a much happier place if every dude had a better idea of how to behave at the bukiluki buffet. Also, nice job to whoever put the piece up: You've earned your boss, subpar oral sex provider Dave Zinczenko, yet another coveted Gawker mention!
Oh, don't kid yourself, Amy, none of it is unwanted.
On Fox News yesterday, media whoring Men's Health EIC Dave Zinczenko appeared to promote his new book; LA sex writer Anna David was patched in, for female counterpoint purposes, via satellite. This was interesting because, alas, David has had the misfortune of Zinczenko's mouth on her lady parts. As Radar explains, in April 2003, David and New York "sex" columnist Amy Sohn traded coasts for a Playboy article. David spent a few days dating/humping men in New York, and Sohn did the same in LA:
• Bono buys into Forbes, filling the "Sanctimonious Media Mogul Twat" position recently vacated by Ted Turner. [NYT]
• Dishy Jared Kushner wants to do things that are "exciting and respectable." Just like Bono! [NYM]
• Has Men's Health supplanted Maxim as the nation's best-selling newsstand men's mag? Rodale says yes, Dennis denies. Either way, we're pretty sure of who's still ahead in the all-important "incarcerated" demographic. [WWD]
We're hearing that eight employees have left leading men's magazine Men's Health over the last eight weeks. While not exactly Vibe-like in its level of bloodletting, we're curious: Is there some kind of hellish turmoil going on at the title that makes a worker a week decide to pursue other opportunities, or is it just research for Dave Zinczenko's next book, The Staff Diet: The Reduction Plan That Will Decimate Your Organization, Reshape Your Staff, And Fuck Up Morale For Life? If you've heard anything, drop us a line.
Poor, dedicated WWD reporter Jeff Bercovici undergoes the ultimate sacrifice — previewing Men's Health editor and iron cocksman Dave Zinczenko's authoritative new book, Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User's Guide for Women. Zinczenko, with his co-editor, MH contributor Ted Spiker, intend to generously decipher the mystery of testicles for women everywhere through their mastery of metaphor. Some examples:
Well, what a pleasant morning surprise: Sitting down with Matt Lauer and Al Roker just now was beloved Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko. Awesome — time for some early morning ass-babbling! The topic was the ever-important issue of whether or not it's OK for men to cry, and Zinczenko declared that the era of the manly man was over. (Really? What was his first clue? Details or Thursday Styles?)
Health-and-fitness people tend to be rah-rah enthusiastic sorts — folks like us prefer sloth, booze, and cynicism — and so it's not particularly surprising that Rodale CEO Steve Murphy sent a 10-paragraph, 800-word internal memo congratulating his staff on the company's eight finalists for this year's National Magazine Awards. Still, even so, the hyperbole is a bit, well, over the top:
As it turns out, the chemistry isn't so much there. We're guessing that's mostly DZ's fault; he comes off as too sane for Touby when he eschews his "fit is the new rich" greatest hits. The highlights we're left with, then, is Laurel's tough questioning. "What's your title and what do you do at Men's Health?" "How many readers are reading Men's Health all over the country?" "Do you actually sit down with copy at a certain point of the day or night and read through every signle article that goes into Men's Health?"
• Can't wait for the Pulitzers announcement to find out the finalists? (See, officially they don't announce the finalists till they announce the winners.) Good thing E&P has its annual samizdat list. [E&P]
• Recently unemployed Absolute editor Andrew Essex is even more recently un-unemployed, sliding into a consulting gig at Rodale for Men's Health and Best Life. Prominent chins, we understand, are the new rich. [WWD]
• Are the good guys winning in the Knight Ridder auction? Wow. [NYT]
• Things at Newsday aren't even worse than you thought, if you bother to pay attention to such things. [NYP]
• Bill Powers wants anchor elections: America's Next Top Anchor? [National Journal]
Wenner Media has lost yet another soldier: Carlos Lamadrid, publisher of Men's Journal, has been daintily adopted by the minxes at Jane, which was apparently in need of a new manslave to serve as their publisher. Not that it would be too hard for the Fairchildren to pluck when they did: Men's Journal EIC Michael Caruso just left the publication, and working as a publisher under Jann Wenner is about as challenging as nodding your head enthusiastically at the appropriate intervals and bending over when asked.
• The Times's silence on Judy Miller has become absurd. [CJR]
• Even public editor Barney Calame doesn't understand why the silence continues. Which might just put an end to it — after all, this is the man who ultimately got Geraldo his correction. [NYTimes.com]
• But the Times's op-ed columnists, at least, all have excellent reasons why they haven't written about Miller Time. [E&P]
• Beyonce is too black for the cover of Vanity Fair. Of course, so are we. [Radar]
• Men's Health spinoff Best Life ups frequency, rate base. Which is what you get from worshipping at the altar of your readers. [Mediaweek]
• Former Time Warner chief Gerald Levin helps open super-high-end spa in Santa Monica. Next month, he'll merge it with eSpas.com and ruin the company. [LAT]
• Mag bigshots should — of all things — take Jon Stewart seriously. [MarketWatch]
We suggested recently that Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko, the abberific Max Zorin of magazine editors who at Jon Stewart's magazine-bashing session spouted such gems as "fit is the new rich" and "we worship at the altar of our readers," might just possibly be — when the planets align the right way, from the right angle, in the right light — a tremendous tool.
Legendary GQ editor Art Cooper died two years ago, after suffering a stroke while lunching at the Four Seasons with Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko. Today's WWD notes a curious anecdote Zinczenko relays in the new issue of his magazine:
Have they no decency? Quicker than Art Cooper's tears can dry, the media commentators are handicapping the race to succeed him as editor of GQ. Keith Kelly is offering odds.
· Dylan Jones, editor-in-chief of British GQ: 2-to-1 favorite
· David Zinczenko of Men's Health, although he's taken himself out of the running: 5-to-1
· Michael Hirschorn, past editor of Spin: 10-to-1
· Kurt Andersen, resting at public radio: 35-to-1
· David Kamp, a VF editor: 35-to-1
· Maer Roshan, if Radar doesn't fix: 50-to-1
· Glenda Bailey of Harpers, because SALTYT thinks it's time a lad's mag had a woman editor.
