metro
Bluffing The Competition
Maggie · 01/23/08 06:32PMWhat Happened To New York: A History Of The 00's So Far
Choire · 12/31/07 04:59PMClick to viewAll those people—such as myself!—who complain about what New York City is like today? Too much anecdote, not enough fact. What really happened to New York City? I thought of one way to find out. Over the last month, I have read the Metro section from each issue of the New York Times—starting in mid-2000 and ending with today's paper. Here's what I learned.
How To Get Rich: Real Advice From A Hedge Funder
Sheila · 12/21/07 09:22AMIt's comforting to know that no matter how much money you make—like, if you work at a hedge fund, for instance—you will still be hanging out in the same rotten Times Square bars, drinking Coors Light. This is how I met "Charlie" The Hedge Fund Manager and tried my best to learn how they work, in order to make the Real Money some day. Here is his advice: "You don't hafta study the European markets, you just gotta buy a bunch of good stocks and hold onto them." Advice: "Some guys work long hours, but not me." Finally, the moment of reckoning: "I don't know what I'm doing here!" he moaned, looking out onto Eighth Avenue, where some dude was puking in the middle of the street. "I'm a fuckin' billionaire."
Choire · 12/14/07 09:40AM
City Finally Fixing Washington Square
Pareene · 12/04/07 05:10PMThe fourth lawsuit against the Parks Department's plan to DESTROY THE CHARACTER of Washington Square Park was thrown out of court yesterday, so bring on the bulldozers. The city will move the fountain over 23 feet to line it up with the arch, because that's been bugging them for 130 years now. Thankfully community activists saved the weird concrete mounds.
Stench Of Decay Blankets Brooklyn
Pareene · 12/03/07 10:23AMBay Ridge smells like shit. Ever since a mysterious $6.9 million sewer project was completed in 2006, "a stretch of Fort Hamilton Parkway between Marine Ave. and 99th St." has been blanketed with the unmistakable stench of human waste, according to the Daily News. Which has Bay Ridge's old and cranky residents upset!
Pareene · 11/20/07 09:00AM
Governor Spitzer will hold a press conference at 9 to recommend that the MTA hold off on a fare hike. NY1 may not cover the conference live, because the Governor's office is all the way up on the 34th floor.
Jen · 11/19/07 11:10AM
According to cops in the 78th Precinct, Park Slope has had its first reported iPhone theft! A woman who lives on Union Street was the victim—she was walking home from the subway when two perps approached her and one of them filched the device from her jacket pocket. There goes the neighborhood. [Brooklyn Paper]
Emily Gould · 11/06/07 10:30AM
Reactions to the MTA's proposed fare hike ($2.25/ride, unspecified increases to monthly and weekly metrocards, and higher prices for LIRR and Metro-North tix): "Hell no," "I find it ridiculous," and "Ladies and gentlemen, fuhgeddaboutit!" (that last from Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz. Does he have any other purpose?). The increase will most likely happen anyway, starting early next year. Because you don't matter. [NYP]
How To Tell The Real Strippers From The Fakes
Sheila · 10/29/07 12:40PM"Stripper" is the styling-of-choice for so many non-stripping ladies these days. So what's the difference between an actual pole-dancer and, say, classily "branding" yourself as a young, sex-positive lass? (Heck, even the housewives of New Jersey have stripper-pole workout sessions in their own homes.) Can anybody tell the different between a strip club and the basement of Happy Ending on Tuesday nights anymore? This weekend, I went deep into Brooklyn to a neighborhood strip bar to find out if it felt just like the playgrounds of Manhattan. It didn't!
abalk · 10/04/07 02:25PM
Dear Twentysomethings,
Choire · 09/26/07 11:29AM
Subway Cell Nightmare Coming "Soon"
abalk · 09/20/07 10:00AMGood news for crazed narcissists who think the world should be able to reach them AT ALL TIMES because they're just that important: The MTA is set to announce a deal to wire all 277 subway stations over the next six years. Sadly, your cellphone will only work in the stations, but hey, at least that time you spend sweating on the platform waiting for a 6 train that never comes will now be scored to a soundtrack of, "So then I was all, 'Why won't you tell your friends we're dating?' and he was like, 'Let's not cheapen it with labels,' which kind of makes sense?" Even better, the terrorists will only be able to remote-detonate their bombs in the station, so you can kick back and relax while you're cruising through the tunnels at 3 miles per hour.
abalk · 09/20/07 08:30AM
"I live on Mulberry Street. Every morning as I walk to work during the disgusting San Gennaro Festival, people are pouring what seems to be bleach on the street in an effort to 'clean' the street. Just another example of how the San Gennaro festival is a parasite on this neighborhood." [Scott Kidder]
Choire · 09/18/07 12:40PM
From the mailbag: "Holy crap. I was having lunch at Rock Center with pasta on my lap when this car explodes right outside of Anthropologie about 20 min ago. I'm back at my desk now having a diet coke— wishing it was scotch. People rushed towards the scene to take cell phone pics. A second boom. Not funny stuff. People were saying it was a taxi." And: "There was some car fire coming out of 5th Avenue near Rockefeller Center. The fire guy is saying at was on 50th St." And: "A cab blew up on 51st between 6th and 7th. At first the rumor was that 30 rock blew up. It didn't. and now nobody here cares."
Choire · 09/18/07 11:50AM
Choire · 09/14/07 04:10PM
BREAKING NEWS UPDATE from our special correspondent at the Madison Square Park-adjacent shooting area for Gossip Girl: "Um, there's a big crane parked there now. That is all.
What You Need To Know About The San Gennaro Festival
abalk · 09/13/07 02:40PMSo, because we have a problem with alcohol and we desperately needed something to quell the tremors, we just stopped by Shark Bar, which is on the corner of Mulberry Street. Guess what we noticed? The San Gennaro Festival has started! If you've never heard of the festival, you should know that it's the greatest street fair in New York, because it lasts eleven days and it sells all the same crap as every other goddamn street fair but likes to pretend that it's Italian-themed! It celebrates some saint from Naples or whatever. Anyway, if you haven't gone, you should go, but we want to make something clear: The people you see at the feast are NOT REAL ITALIANS. They are street fair people, and two weeks from now they'll be setting up their sausage stands in some other location, where they will wave "Hi" to the guy who sells the $2 socks and the lady with the grilled corn covered in farm cheese. REAL ITALIANS do not work street fairs.
Help Name 'Times' Twins!
abalk · 09/11/07 03:21PMCapitalization-averse Times Metro head Joe Sexton has shared the happy news: Times reporter Jodi Rudoren and her comedian husband Gary are the proud new parents of twins! Sexton notes in the office memo that he doesn't think "they have settled on names. but i believe jodi has backed off her naked effort at career advancement and decided not to go with bill and jill." (That's Times boss-folk Bill Keller and Jill Abramson. Funny, creepy, or funny-creepy? Hard to tell!) Anyway, while we know that the Rudorens have plenty of expertise when it comes to choosing names, we thought we'd all pitch in and put together a list of suggestions? We'll go with Dillinger and Gingerly. Your thoughts? Full memo follows.