Seeing as even the crickets are bored off their asses today and yesterday's trip down memory lane inspired so much reverie, we're going back to the eighties once again. Those of you who grew up in other areas will find this both bizarre and impenetrable. Those of you from here originally will be cursing our names for the rest of the evening as this tune goes through your head.
If you grew up in this area during the eighties, there are a few things that are probably permanently stuck in your head in the place where algebra should be. Among them are "Pix pix pix pix pix," that Melle Mel/Van Silk "don't do it" PSA for WNBC against crack, and this commercial, which has probably been buried deep in your subconscious. Well, HotelChatter dredged it up for us; we're going to do the same for you.
To follow-up on our transit transients who intended to break the record for most egregious waste of time fastest ride through the entire NYC subway system, covering all of 230 miles in the process.
Friday:
• 1) Ted Leo and his anthemic Pharmacists make their annual stopover at
South Street Seaport tonight, this time with "ruffian punks" DC
Snipers and "hype brewing rock kids" Tokyo Police Club. Nothing quite
so punk like politically-charged lyrics on a quaint tourist-mobbed
Pier. [flavorpill]
• 2) If ever you were looking for the chance to meet Andy Roddick and
test out the speed of your serve, this is it: Tennis Magazine hosts
"Grand Slam," an assortment of pre-US Open festivities at Grand
Central Terminal today. [nymag]
• Dave Eggers, Sarah Vowell, Jon Stewart, John Hodgman, David Byrne, singer-songwriter John Roderick, and (exhale) Sufjan Stevens congregate at Beacon Theater to raise money for Eggers's kiddie training center 826NYC. About as close to a literati wet dream as you can possibly get without importing a Jonathan from Brooklyn. [Upcoming]
• Princesas, a film about the existential dispair of two Spanish whores, opens today at IFC. We'll go out on a limb and say this probably isn't the best date flick. [flavorpill]
• Didja hear? This band will totally change your life: The Shins play hipster playpen McCarren Park Pool tonight. [Paper]
• First two nitwits attempt to navigate the entire subway system in one sitting, now 192 Books looks for a bunch of nitwits to participate in a continuous reading of a new English translation of Don Quixote, an event expected to take a mere 48 hours. Please, please tell us you have something better to do. Even TiVo counts. [Upcoming]
• Eight-foot plywood phallus + fetish objects fashioned from toilet plungers + nipples recreated in yarn= a great place to get your riot grrl on (or to get on a riot grrl). All at Exit Art's Wild Girls, which ends this Saturday. [flavorpill]
• Ian Svenonius (Nation of Ulysses frontman) and Calvin Johnson (founder of K Records, invented "twee") team up at Tonic for a DJ set. For free! Don't act like you're not into it, 'cause we know your ass is broke. [Paper]
Tomorrow at 6 AM, suspected bong collectors Matt Green and Don Badaczewski (above) will get off of their couch and attempt to break the world record for riding the entire NYC subway system in the least amount of time. The current unconfirmed record stands at 25 hours, 11 minutes, but Green and Badaczewski will attempt to subvert the laws of MTA's nature and beat the time — though, just from the looks of them, we worry that they've not contacted the proper record-keeping authorities. ("Dude, you said YOU were gonna call!") From their press release, written in the third person:
• Madonna's tour was ridiculously inaccessible, so B.B. King's hosts the next best thing: a bunch of impersonators singing the same songs for a fraction of the price. After a few drinks, you won't even be able to tell La'Shelle from the Material Girl. [Paper]
• It's not your last chance to see Rocky, but it is your last chance to see Rocky at the Bryant Park Film Festival, which ends after tonight's showing. See how many times you can scream, "Yo, Adrian!" at the screen before someone throws an empty beer can at your face. [Upcoming]
• Matthew De Gennaro likes to play the wire; David Grubbs digs minimalist piano ballads. See their experimental madness tonight with Alog — a Norwegian duo that works in "detail-rich puzzles of samples, field-recording snippets, and live instrumentation." Just another offering from your high-minded friends at Flavorpill. [flavorpill]
Did you head out to the Hamptons this weekend? Hope you had a great time! Here are a few things you may have missed in the news: In New Jersey, a handyman was arrested for having sexually abused at least eleven children, the youngest being 23 months old. Also in New Jersey, state investigators "discovered" that a day care center had been built on the site of a former mercury thermometer factory, and at least twenty of the kids who spent time there are now showing abnormally high levels of the element in their systems. Over on Long Island, a 31-year-old bedding salesman who lived with his parents murdered and dismembered a 57-year-old neighbor, putting her head in his trunk. And here in town, a filmmaker catcalled a woman outside of the IFC; she and six of her friends (and, allegedly, random passersby) began to assault him; he was eventually stabbed in the stomach with a steak knife.
Friday:
