The kids at Gothamist provide some of the most comprehensive metro coverage of our fair city, and so it is not at all surprising that we learn from them — and only from them — that we are apparently headed for imminent annihilation. Seems some folks in London have deciphered the "true bible code" — mind you, "not the Da Vinci Code of Dan Brown," but the real bible code — and they have now put out a press release, which Gothamist got hold of, predicting with 98 percent certainty that "the UN Plaza in Midtown Manhattan will be hit by a terrorist nuclear bomb between Thursday evening June 29th and Tuesday evening July 4th, 2006." Which really sucks, because we just made drinks plans for the 5th.

As the Lower East Side continues to become an overzealous developer's dream come true, the plebs pay the price: construction on the block of Orchard Street between Stanton and Houston has resulted in the slow crumbling of a tenement at 189 Orchard. Residents have a forthcoming luxury condo building and Jason Pomeranc's new hotel to thank for the mess:

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted constantly to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional, retro compilation.

• From You To Me and Back Again offers a collections of prints and installations which "engage and interrogate past and current modes of photographic image production." Translation: two Polaroids, a camera phone, and creepy gallery lighting. [flavorpill]
• The Brazilian Girls take Pier 54 by storm for a free concert. Ronaldo was already booked. [WUNYC]
• What does your neighborhood say about you? (Ours says that Daddy bought those stovepipe pants.) Hear Roy Wasserman's take on neighborhood sterotypes tonight. [Paper]

Steve Cuozzo ever-so slyly mentions in his column today that the building at 1211 Sixth Avenue, home to the Post's murky offices, is up on the block. German commercial property behemoth Jamestown bought the tower in 1999 for $600 million; Cuozzo claims the "buzz" (no doubt created on the cold blue screen of his computer) is that the building may fetch $1 billion more than that. Bids are due this week — any word on prospective buyers? You know Mort Zuckerman's balancing his checkbook right now, hoping he can finance his dream of rendering the competition homeless.

If you've not had it marked on your calendar, from 2 - 4 PM today, flogged and browbeaten assistants everywhere can enjoy a free cup of coffee on behalf of the marketing team behind The Devil Wears Prada. At the very least, think of it as an excuse to take an extra smoke break. According to the release, the promotion is open to anyone who works in an "office," so we take that to mean that pretty much anyone, cubicle slave or not, can grab a freebie at participating locations. Just don't tell your boss — the bitch'll probably make you grab her a cup, too.

• Jesus lives and saves us all: Star Jones is reportedly announcing her departure from The View, preferring instead to continue her rapid shrinking in the privacy of her own home. If we're lucky, her on-air farewell will be the exact opposite of Katie Couric's: hilarious and laced with blood. [Access Hollywood]
• Producer Dallas Austin has now been in a Dubai prison for one month for trying to bring drugs into the country for Naomi Campbell's birthday party; Campbell has yet to forgive him for ruining her big day. [MTV]
• A sneak peek at a former Playboy Bunny's tell-all, plus her requisite cleavage. [Hollywood Interrupted]
• Best Week Ever comedian Sherrod Small slams the John Mayer report, insists that the musician's use of the n-word was funny. [BWE]
• Extremely loud and incredibly derivative. [The Velvet Blog]
• One block of 103rd Street is renamed Humphrey Bogart Place in honor of the actor's childhood home. Not that it makes the locale any more appealing. [Cinematical]
• Unintentional hilarity: Laura Ingraham as the next Jon Stewart? It's a pilot we'd gleefully kill to get our hands on. [TV Newser]
• Overheard in NY gets its own stalker map. [Overplot]
• Kudos to the generous Daily News editors who allowed Ben Widdicombe to out both Anderson Cooper and Shep Smith in one fell swoop. [Gatecrasher]
• Hipster Swiss Army knives, crafted especially for Bedford Avenue stabbings. [Consumerist]
• Does Us Weekly have a problem with Britney Spears? Is People coddling her? And at what point will we all collectively agree to just look the fuck away? [Media Orchard]

The kids at Curbed today run perhaps the best slice-of-NYC-life photo we've seen since that sailor kissed the nurse. We're pretty sure that's Tom & Jerry's in the background, so we're putting this on Elizabeth just north of Houston. You know, just in case you're looking to boost a Fisher-Price jeep.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

The following just landed in the Gawker mailbag:

• Galapagos hosts a 10th birthday party for Ocularis, "North Brooklyn's destination for experimental film and video." They grow up so fast, those hipsters. [flavorpill]
• Broadway copies Shakespeare and takes to the park. Bring an umbrella and your tap shoes to the Great Lawn for Broadway Under the Stars. [Upcoming]
• Big Night gives you just enough Stanley Tucci action to hold you over until the opening of The Devil Wears Prada. [Paper]

Most card-carrying fags and their hags celebrated Gay Pride weekend by flailing about 5th Avenue, but Liza Minnelli had other plans: her rainy Saturday was spent at lesbian watering hole Rubyfruit, where she crowned winners at the Pet Pride beauty pageant. If anyone deserves to reign over a butch/femme pet fashion showdown, it's undoubtedly the Queen of Queens.

The Park Royal is a fancypants co-op on the Upper West Side — built in 1926 as an "apartment hotel," neighbor to the Dakota, and, according to its website, twice named one of the city's top ten co-ops. So you'd expect it would have fancypants residents with fancypants manners, right? Wrong. According to buildingwide memo sent Friday, some Park Royalists are finding their terraces — and sometimes even their windowsills — littered with cigarette butts and other debris. (The best one: "One terrace is inundated constantly with used Q-tips." Q-Tip inundation!) Could people with sufficient assets to get past the co-op board really behave so boorishly? Well, perhaps not. The memo is quick to consider an alternative hypothesis: "Ensure you have talked to your nanny, maid or contractor that this is not permitted." It's so hard to find good help.

Last week we posted a compilation of reader sightings of starlet Natasha Lyonne, whose well-documented drug problems have pushed her towards obscurity. The sightings weren't positive — more or less, Lyonne was described as looking as if she fell off the wagon right before it ran over her. After the item ran, her father, Aaron Braunstein, emailed Gawker to speak with us, but when we responded that we were available, he never wrote back and we moved on with our day. But it would seem that Braunstein opted to talk to Lloyd Grove instead:

State senator Jeff Klein has released his "Dirty Dozen" list of New York's 12 most disgusting groceries, three of which are in Manhattan: Associated on West 14th Street, American Fu Zhou Grocery on East Broadway, and the Second Avenue Rite Aid on the Upper East Side. Apparently there's not much to say about Chinatown (or, oddly, Rite Aid?), but Associated gets a little explanation:

In media years, it's been nearly two decades since former Page Sixer Jared Paul Stern allegedly attempted to extort billionaire Ron Burkle. The snails at the FBI, however, haven't forgotten. Last month, the investigation was referred to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales for final review; it would seem that he's approved further work on the case, as New York mag reports that Page Six editor Richard Johnson has been "contacted for questioning by a group that includes prosecutors from the Southern District and federal agents."

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Friday:
• The Road To Guantanamo follows the story of the Tipton Three, "the British Muslims unjustly held in Guant namo Bay for two years." Get out your protest signs and hop on the angry bandwagon. [flavorpill]
• "We're Doing It For Love:" Robert Plant, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals, and a bunch of other people play in a benefit concert for Arthur Lee. Blow your rent money tonight at the Beacon Theater. [Prefix]

• MSTRKRFT, a DJ duo with "electro-shimmer," perform tonight at Hiro Ballroom. BYO vowels. [flavorpill]
• TRL for Grown-ups: MonkeyTown screens "surrealist music videos," which is apparently what happens when you combine a legitimate director with a conspicuously indie artists. [Paper]
• Since you can't get tickets to the Air Guitar Championship anyway, check out Asobi Seksu at the Mercury Lounge. The name means "play sex" in Japanese. It can't be too bad. [Prefix]

To celebrate the glory of K-Fed's wildly successful PR appearance in Times Square yesterday, wife Britney Spears took her pennies to Columbus Circle (you knew she was a mallrat). A reader provides the above images and reports that a stroller was on the scene, being put to good use as a shopping cart.