Sightings are sent in by our readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• As a celebration of The Revolution Will Be Accessorized, a new BlackBook anthology, Meghan Daum and Dirk Wittenborn debate which city is more bourgeois: Los Angeles or New York. Bring your foam fingers revel in the hometown advantage. McNally Robinson Books, 50 Prince Street, 7 PM.
⁊ His Name is Alive hits the Mercury Lounge before embarking on a national tour with Youth Group. Let that little light of thine to shine tonight at 8. [flavorpill]
•Put your week's worth of stubble to use at the NYC Beard and Mustache Championships. Extra points if you can actually find enough scraps in your beard to make yourself dinner. [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by stalk-happy readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Put on your concerned caps and head to Galapagos for the second New York Progressive Reading Series. Williamsburg can drop the irony if it's for the left. [flavorpill]
• Axl Rose still believes he qualifies as Guns n' Roses, despite the lack of Slash. Decide for yourself tonight at Hammerstein. [NYCT]
• Mexican Tap Water brings their show to the Peoples Improv Theater. Pop some Immodium before you go. [Upcoming]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional, old-school compilation of some of our favorites. Send your celebrity adventures to tips@gawker.com.

Friday:
• Savalas in Williamsburg hosts The Babymaker, an unfortunately-titled recreation of a high school dance. Recreation for some, wishful thinking for others. 285 Bedford Ave, 11 pm.
• Sundance comes to New York as BAM hosts a sampling of the festival's films. Go, but only after you've seen Just My Luck at least three times. [flavorpill]

Sightings are sent in by crazer readers hungry for A-list blood and then posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

A cameraphone-wielding reader sends a report from West 24th Street, between Ninth and Tenth avenues: "was having a particularly heinous day yesterday until a) i found a prime parking spot (on the wrong side of the street but whatever) and b) this was right by the curb.... it was so unexpected and delicious — made my day."

• Here and Queer essayist Edmund White gives a reading tonight from My Lives: An Autobiography. Get there in time to hear him talk about his mother — that's guaranteed entertainment. [flavorpill]
• The L magazine celebrates its third birthday tonight at Fontana's. Free beer from 9-10 PM. Did we mention free beer? [WUNY]
• Nothing is better than a ninja. Tonight, Northsix hosts the Chinese Stars, a band whose name is clearly ninja-related and therefore should be worth the trip. [Paper]

Under the theory that possibly fatuous metaphors are the secret of well-crafted glib magazine writing, we couldn't help but notice, as we walked through Cooper Square last night for the first time in a while, that the Village Voice banner hanging from the alt-weekly's office building was nearly entirely obstructed by the various scaffolding and other construction stuff in front of the building.

Is there any doubt that New York's hip-hop stations are the city's pinnacles of merriment? Wanting nothing but to keep their listeners happily engaged, they go above and beyond just DJs and music — Hot 97 gives us bullets, and now Power 105 gives us kiddie porn. Unfortunately, the latter station has fired on-air personality Star for being too entertaining:

We mentioned yesterday that Mayor Bloomberg stopped by the set of the Nanny Diaries to announce an expansion to the city's tax credit program for local film and TV productions and, as he said, "to stand next to a real beauty, Scarlett Johansson." But alas, Her Curvitude was not present, prompting staffers to insist that she was on her way.

Google continues to expand its palette of random bells and whistles (just wait for Google Gyno!), most recently launching its Google Trends Project, which allows users to track the popularity of search terms by time and location. Wanting to better understand the zeitgeist, we entered two words we think are fundamental to modern life: media and porn. Below, the search volume for each term since 2003:

Sightings are sent in by readers and then posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• The Film Forum hosts "Cartoons: No Laughing Matter," a film festival discussing the growing consequence of the medium. Thanks, but Denmark could have used the memo a couple months sooner. [flavorpill]
• Jane Fonda discusses her new book, My Life So Far. Be that person who asks about working with Lindsay Lohan tonight at 6:30. [WUNYC]
• Four band members to every groupie: West-coast imports Irving take the stage with Group Sounds, Beirut, and Boulevard at the Knitting Factory. [Upcoming]
• If you're feeling particularly adventurous, venture up to Makor, where journalist Peter Hyman hosts a panel of fools to ruminate on the celebrity media clusterfuck. Deep thoughts guaranteed. [92Y]

We hear the same story, time and time again: a gorgeous young model mistakes the exit door on her bus for the bathroom door and, as a result, hits the highway at 40 mph. Russian model Tatyana Simanava did exactly that yesterday, dislocating her shoulder, smashing her arm, and damaging her face (remarkably, she's otherwise OK). So what happened, exactly? Simanava was en route to a glamorous Staten Island photo shoot and, while exiting the bathroom, mistook the RV exit for the door she had used to originally enter the loo. Writes the Daily News:

• For you alarmists out there who believe in the myth of forthcoming environmental disasters, enjoy a map of what Manhattan would look like if the sea levels were to rise a healthy 9 meters. Au revoir, Alphabet City. [Flood.firetree.net]
• Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn's engagement enters the completely unfounded and highly unlikely rumor phase. [Patrique Gossip]
• New York's highest court denies Diddy's appeal, ordering him to pay over $19K/month in child support to ex-girlfriend Misa Hylton-Brim. That should just about cover the mental anguish of having to see him naked. [AP]
• And while Diddy may have to shell out more pennies than he'd like, at least he's still allowed to devote an entire Time 100 table to his formidable posse. [FishbowlNY]
• Axl Rose swears that Chinese Democracy will be out by the end of this century. Really, he means it this time. [Billboard]
• Lindsay Lohan appeared on TRL yesterday, but wouldn't talk to Vanessa Minnillo until their mutual flack Leslie Sloane Zelnick hammered out a 2-minute peace treaty. [Jossip]
• Barbara Walters is supposedly angry with Meredith Vieira for leaving The View. If she left us with Rosie O'Donnell, we'd be pissed, too. [TMZ]
• And finally, THE ELLIES ARE TONIGHT! WHEE! Check back here later for our breaking updates, sent lovingly from the scene of Magville's debutante ball.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted daily to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional, old-school compilation of some of our favorites.

Spotted on Craigslist today:

• Dr. Katz is resurrected tonight at the Gotham Comedy Club, as Jonathan Katz gives us a live version of the late, squiggly therapist. In real life, we hear he's three-dimensional. [Gotham]
• Al Franken takes a break from talking on the radio to instead talk at the 92nd St Y. We hear that his unreasonably large glasses flash lights and shoot lasers. It's the little things that make his appearances worth it. [92Y]
• What's better than drunken Paula Abdul on Idol? Not much, but Chicago at Radio City Music Hall might do it. Also, you need to stop watching Idol anyhow. [Paper]