• Snap Judgements focuses on new positions in contemporary African photography — and thank God it does, because those old positions? Those were just unreal. [flavorpill]
• What's left of Alice in Chains performs tonight at the Bowery Ballroom. Pay respects, tip a 40, bring a man in the box. [Upcoming]
• Not riding on the grunge nostalgia train? Singer-songwriter Josephine Foster performs tonight as a part of FOLK. [Prefix]

A headline in today's Metro:

From today's News:

• The cameras of TMZ.com never rest: last week they caught Brandon Davis waxing philosophical on the nature of Lindsay Lohan's crotch, this week they document the LA nightlife backlash as a woman screams at him to take a shower and derides him for getting his money "from daddy." As if that's an insult? [TMZ]
• Former New Jersey governor and proud 'mo Jim McGreevy reads excerpts from his new book, an erotic tale of his anonymous rest stop hookups. [Star-Ledger]
• Quote of the day, courtesy of Ghostface Killa: "New York be bullshitting. Right now, I say fuck New York. Yeah, I'm from New York, but fuck New York. Because niggas is pussy." [Prefix]
• In live theater, distracting the actors just might get you backstage, where you can confuse David Schwimmer and piss off Zeljko Ivanek. [BroadwayWorld]
• Life imitates art, at least if you're a Sopranos fan: the body of a man who'd been beaten to death was found behind the Cafe Bada Bing. [NYT]
• As Memorial Day weekend draws near, the four horsemen of the Hamptons apocalypse prepare to open their doors to thousands of devoted Wet Seal fans. [NYM]
• A bird flu awareness night in Newark is marked by a chicken wing eating contest. In Jersey, the jokes just write themselves. [Newark Bears]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• Literary Death Match III brings writers from your favorite elitist literary reviews together for a read-off. The reader who earns the most tears and/or laughs win, unless someone draws blood — obviously, blood is the literary trump card. [flavorpill]
• The Sunset Rubdown show sold out, but we swore we would never pay for that sort of thing anyway. Trading favors on Craigslist, however, is not out of the question. [Prefix]
• Meatpacking District Design Week 2006: because beautiful Eurotrash and their rooftop pools don't do enough self-congratulating. [WUNY]

With all the "excitement" at the new Apple store on Friday, no one seemed to notice the perpetually wandering Bucky Turco, who managed to con his way past the line and get into the store before the masses. Once inside, he hit as many computers as he could, changing all of their browser homepages to his website, AnimalNewYork.com. A great method of free advertising, and probably the only way to ensure that Kevin Bacon sees your blog.

A Hell's Kitchen resident emails to report that on her walk across 43th Street to work each morning she often notices a certain sweet aroma as she passes the Times Building. She put together a bit of doggerel announcing her finding and speculating on its cause, which we pass on to you now:

Never mind the Burkle/Jackson re-relaunch; at Port Authority — at least as of Saturday afternoon — it's like Radar never went away.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

It's easy to enjoy bad weather when we rarely leave our houses, and, boy howdy has it been a fun spectacle to watch today. Sunny one minute; pouring the next. Thunder. Hail. Lots of wind. And now this: Apparently a tornado touched down in Newark Bay, which is just north of Staten Island and across Bayonne from New York Harbor. Tornadoes in New York? Awesome. Maybe there'll be a big twister, and we'll get taken away, and, finally, we'll have a chance to meet Judy Garland and, even better, get a heart.

Friday:
• In the time it takes most people to tie their shoes, Prep author Curtis Sittenfeld wrote a new book. Hear her read from The Man of My Dreams tonight at the Barnes & Noble on Astor Place, 7 PM.
• The Go-Gos play Nokia Theatre; you'll dance and try not to cry at how the years have treated Belinda. [Prefix]

The Comedy Central bowlers stopped by to collect the coveted NYAMBL Bowling Pin on their way to pimp out the team yacht.

In anticipation of tonight's grand opening of the new Apple Store on Fifth Avenue, at which the company will give away one free MacBook an hour for 24 hours, and which it's rumored Steve Jobs himself might be in attendance, Gawker Media hanger-on and CBS Public Eyer Brian Montopoli passes along some headline ideas for tomorrow's coverage of the sure-to-be-imminent riots. His suggs:

West 14th Street at Seventh Avenue, about 7 p.m. last night. That's an NYPD Traffic Enforcement car stalled in the middle of the street and creating — what's the word? — traffic all the way back to Sixth. Ah, irony.

• Ohmahgah, the NEW APPLE STORE WILL OPEN TOMORROW THANK YOU LORD STEVE! Curbed has a sneak peek inside the new 5th Avenue cube, and reportedly the cult leader himself will be present when the store opens. Now wipe that drool off your face and work on losing your virginity. [Apple Insider]
• The Daily Mirror reports that Brangelina have already cut a deal for their forthcoming baby, reportedly to the tune of $4.9 million, all to go to UNICEF. Assuming, for once, that the UK press isn't on crack, we're thinking People won this one. [LSE]
• Lindsay is Biggie, Paris is Tupac, Nicole is Diddy, Mary-Kate is Snoop Dogg...this could go on forever. [BWE]
• State Senator Ada Smith pretends she's Tony Soprano. [The Daily Politics]
• Off the blow (we think), Jay McInerney now has his appetite back. Watch him blog about it, then recoil in horror at his use of "Babbolicious." [H&G]
• ThursGay Styles does it again. [NYT]
• Yesterday we'd thought about making a Heather Mills/missing limb joke, but bit our tongues. It's reassuring to see that the Post, on the other hand, did not. [NYP]
• 10 Things I Hate About Commandments. [You Tube]
• Naomi Campbell takes her abusive parade to Dubai (hey, Vanity Fair said it was hot) for her birthday. She's supposedly rented 18 floors of the Burj al Arab hotel, and she'll be throwing shit on every single one of them. [Made in Brazil]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• People Under the Stairs take over S.O.B.'s for some hip-hop and dust bunnies. Maybe a lost sock or two — we don't really know what hides under there. [flavorpill]
• In the enviable position of having a debut novel that everyone liked, Ben Kunkel reads from Indecision tonight at 192 Books. Go and fawn, but remember: had a woman written that book, it would've been chick lit. [Paper]
• London Calling, a Clash tribute band, hops across the pond for the 25th anniversary of the real band's NY invasion. Don your fake vintage t-shirt and join in on the historical hipster fun. [WUNY]

• Cameron Jaime makes silent films about suburbia gone wrong (as if it were ever right). Tonight at Symphony Space, the Melvins and Kenji Haino provide a live soundtrack, making the dysfunction all the merrier. [flavorpill]
• Not quite as exciting as John Cusack and a boom box, the band Say Anything performs at Bowery Ballroom. Go and scream "In Your Eyes" between songs; we bet that never happens. [Prefix]
• Russell Crowe takes some time out from his busy schedule of throwing phones to play with his new-ish band The Ordinary Fear of God. Also, Art Brut is playing — you know, if you like real music. [Paper]