It's been nearly six years since Michael Richards stunned attendees of his stand-up act at The Laugh Factory in LA with a now-infamous N-word tirade directed at an African-American heckler.

Lindsay Lohan is red once again. Bristol Palin's Dancing with the Stars performance may suck. Britney Spears is not an abuser, says her former bodyguard! Lady Gaga: cheater. Saturday Gossip Roundup is a chunky heel in your back.

In a special edition of #stalker, Michael "Kramer" Richards was spotted this evening in the Union Square subway station. What he was doing there is a mystery, though:

Seinfeld was a revolutionary sitcom, so its reunion had to be equally brilliant. As witnessed on Curb Your Enthusiasm, the non-reunion reunion about the making of a reunion on a different show will make blood pour out of your ears.

• A&E has agreed to acquire Lifetime, which means it's not entirely out of the realm of synergistic possibility that Duane Chapman of Dog the Bounty Hunter will make a cameo on Project Runway sometime next season. Yay. [THR, NYT]
• The Daily News has dropped its restaurant critic, Danyelle Freeman, and doesn't appear to be making any plans to replace her. [P6, NYT]
• Another luxury magazine is coming! The Financial Times plans to bring its quarterly glossy, FT Wealth, to American shores this October. [Crain's]
• It's been nearly two years since Oprah announced plans to launch a cable channel, and the venture's been riddled with problems ever since. [LAT]
• Italian officials are now investigating Google for its "lack of transparency." Yes, the same Italy that's governed by a man named Silvio Berlusconi. [NYT]
• Larry David will be bringing the cast of Seinfeld together for a multi-episode appearance on the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Which makes sense considering it's not like Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jason Alexander, or Michael Richards have anything better to do, now do they? [EW, LAT]

There is a simple formula to determine how successful the stars of hit television shows go on to become: how long it takes before the reunion special. Seinfeld held out for 11 years, how long did everyone else last?

It's a big birthday for Jennifer Lopez. She's celebrating the big 4-0 today. Other people who will be blowing out candles this fine Friday: Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth is turning 41. Anna Paquin is 27. Director Doug Liman turns 44. Director Gus Van Sant is turning 57. Billionaire investor Nelson Peltz is 67. Artist Alex Katz is turning 82. Senator Claire McCaskill is 56. Governor Charlie Crist of Florida is 53. Barry Bonds turns 45. Retired basketball stars Rick Fox and Karl Malone are turning 40 and 46, respectively. Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame is turning 60. Actor Dan Hedaya is 69. And Wonder Woman—actress Lynda Carter—celebrates her 58th birthday today. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

• It was clear that Michael Wolff was a bad husband and a bad boss. But now it looks like he's a lousy son, too. Wolff is being sued by his poor 85-year-old mother-in-law for trying to evict her from her one-bedroom apartment so he could sell it and collect a profit. [P6]
• Chris Brown appeared in court yesterday and was charged with assault and making criminal threats. He faces four years in state prison if convicted. [NYP, Us]
• Marc Anthony touched the leg of a woman other than JLo, which means he was either "flirting with danger" or just being nice to a "longtime friend." [Star]
• Just another typical Friday: Amy Winehouse has been charged with assault for punching a fan last year. [Reuters]

This is the one day when Jennifer Lopez has the right to act like a diva: The new mom turns 39 today. Also celebrating: Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth turns 40 today (although she looks like she's 12). Anna Paquin is 26. Michael Richards of Seinfeld fame turns 59. Billionaire investor Nelson Peltz is 66. Artist Alex Katz is 81. Director Gus Van Sant turns 52. And scandal-plagued baseball star Barry Bonds is 44.

When last we encountered Michael Richards, he was preparing for the last leg of his Apology Tour of late 2006, where he would meet with the individuals he famously threatened with a racially motivated, inverted forking in an attempt to finally extinguish the stubborn flames of his career immolation. But where is Richards right now? The LAT has tracked the now-retired stand-up to the very ends of the earth—to a place so remote, in fact, that Angelina Jolie has collected one of its souvenir orphans—to catch up as he tries to enjoy some head-clearing time in Cambodia:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted former Seinfeld star and noted stand-up nose-diver Michael Richards on a Third Street Promenade shopping spree:

The AP brings up an angle we'd never considered regarding the Michael Richards Racist Tirade Incident: How might the public's lowered opinion of the man once universally beloved for playing Cosmo Kramer affect the sales of Seinfeld-inspired Festivus poles? Sales have been brisk so far this season, leading a representative from the $20,000-a-year unadorned metal rod industry to state that fans are understanding enough to look past the regrettable actions of an actor with rage issues to the real meaning of the fake holiday:

As the year draws to a close we want to take a moment and look back at some of the great moments in celebrity prejudice. Please enjoy this medley of racism and homophobia assembled by Gakwer videographer Richard Blakeley. Watch it with someone you hate.

• Santa Loses It by aweekofkindness.com [YouTube via BestWeekEver.tv]

Not to be outdone by the recent headline-grabbing antics of the racist-meltdown-having comic community, giant celebrity mess Andy Dick has decided to up his personal ante, supplementing the substance-fueled displays of face-licking, reporter-biting banditry for which he has become infamous with a well-placed N-bomb at a recent appearance at The Improv:

· The Michael Richards Apology Tour is finally making a stop where he gets to say he's sorry in person to the people he actually menaced with his racist harangue about inverted forkings.
We recommend that if you think you might be offended by a pit bull vomiting after humping another pit bull, you instead opt for this adorable hamster video.
How did DeVito get so drunk before his appearance on The View? The Cloonster tells all.
· Tom Cruise buys a place near the UK mothership, and is almost certainly not going to be paid to sing anything.
· This is a slideshow consisting of nothing more than photos of Britney Spears with black bars placed on various parts of her body. Sound stupid? Yup, it is. But you're just bored enough to go through every single one, we know you are.

• Remember when Michael 'Kramer' Richards' spokesman tried to pull the old "he can't be an anti-Semite because he's Jewish?" thing? Turns out Richards just "feels" Jewish — his 'rents weren't, and he never converted. Also, he's a Freemason. Stay away from the Ambien, ok, Michael? [R&M]
  

In a four-hour interview with Entertainment Weekly (and honestly, if that's not a sign of career demise in and of itself, we don't know what is), Mel Gibson responds to an interviewer's oblique reference to Michael "Kramer" Richards' recent bout of racist Tourette's at the Laugh Factory with a declaration of sympathy. Apparently, he sort of understands what the dude is going through.

· The headline "Yellow Wiggle Decides to Stop Performing" may not mean much to you, but trust us, there are millions of four-year-olds tearfully clutching CD covers right now and angrily accusing Yellow Wiggle Ono of having broken up their favorite band.
· By now you've probably heard that Sofia Coppola is a new mommy. Just like the one she almost got last week!
· We know you simply couldn't go on without knowing how Michael Douglas is doing after almost falling during a Bermudan "roof-wetting" ceremony. He's OK!
· Yes, all of Cracked.com's lame fight scenes are pretty terrible, but the knife-licking insanity of #1 wins by a wide margin.
· After over two decades, Beverly Hills is almost ready to endorse a subway route, but residents are secretly hoping the "wrong kind of people" who will inevitably end up riding it will bypass their manicured streets for whatever Santa Monica crack motel they're headed to.
· For those of you for whom the Michael Richards "Afro-American" apology on Letterman left them wanting, perhaps you'll prefer these more coherent sentiments from an old episode of Seinfeld...though they'll probably end up doing more harm than good.

The inevitable quote we have all been bracing for—in which a certain margarita-loving Malibu land baron harboring a mistrust of Jews and a sugar tit chip on his shoulder weighs in on recent events involving a former sitcom star's choice to silence chatty comedy club patrons by angrily sharing his historical knowledge of half-century-old, flatware-assisted lynching practices—has finally come. Not surprisingly, the quotee's heart goes out to the most recent victim stricken by the highly contagious outbreak of Celebrity Racist Tourette's Syndrome currently sweeping through Hollywood: