Michael Sands, publicist for Britney manager Sam Lutfi and man who can tell you something about cheesecake, is going to be deposed in Britney's custody case on March 5 [P6]. And he's very enthusiastic about it, because "the truth shall set you free!" Are you as excited about this development as we are? We've told you a bit about Sands' dessert skills, but it's time to roll out some key sections of the biography from his own website, a document full of unwitting double entendres about his own credibility that, we're sure, go totally unnoticed by Sands himself. Which just make them so much more fun.

Actor, model, cheesecake entrepreneur, and publicist Michael Sands is helping his client, Britney manager/ extorter Sam Lutfi, protect his valuable reputation by craftily playing gossip outlets against each other. TMZ reported last night that the LAPD is investigating Lutfi for illegally drugging Britney. Hours later, PageSix.com struck back with a report that the po-po is doing no such thing [UPDATE: Radar.com takes credit for the original scoop]! The evidence is clear:

Professional media spokesman and dessert entrepreneur Michael Sands is already helping his new client, Britney-associated character Sam Lutfi, put a nonchalant spin on his shady activities. What's the best PR strategy when a client is facing legal peril as well as the public dismantling of his reputation? Make bizarre rationalizations to a little-known Hollywood blogger, of course!

Some free PR tips for Britney Spears manager and tormenter Sam Lutfi: If your new publicist has a logo that looks like he stole it from "The Colbert Report," he is not legit. If your new publicist has an aol.com email address for professional use, he is not legit. If your new publicist bills his one-man shop as a "Worldwide Public Relations Company," he is not legit. And, especially, if your new publicist advertises himself as an "actor, model, and entrepreneur (C'est Cheesecake TM)," he is not legit. Then again, Sam Lutfi's not very legit either. They'll make great media together. After the jump, his new PR professional Michael Sands expounds on the circumstances of his hiring, and compares Britney's crazy medication troubles with those of his ex-wife. Pure class.