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Michael Sands, publicist for Britney manager Sam Lutfi and man who can tell you something about cheesecake, is going to be deposed in Britney's custody case on March 5 [P6]. And he's very enthusiastic about it, because "the truth shall set you free!" Are you as excited about this development as we are? We've told you a bit about Sands' dessert skills, but it's time to roll out some key sections of the biography from his own website, a document full of unwitting double entendres about his own credibility that, we're sure, go totally unnoticed by Sands himself. Which just make them so much more fun.

Anyone with a phone and a computer can hang out a public relations shingle these days. In fact, with today's bloggers and party planners fancying themselves as high-powered PR gurus, just about anyone has. That's why Media Image Consultant MICHAEL SANDS stands out, and away, from this self-absorbed, self-important crowd...

MICHAEL SANDS has been instrumental in helping the Public Relations industry of the '80s transform into Media Consulting in the '90s and evolve into the wide range of competencies that constitute today's Media Image Consulting profession. In fact, he coined the phrase...

For many years, Michael said "Cheese" to the clicks of Nikons...

Michael was photographed for: GQ, ESQUIRE, BRIDE'S, L'UOMO VOGUE, PARADE, TIME, the NEW YORK MAGAZINE, NY TIMES SUNDAY MAGAZINE, and even a few JC Penney catalogues...

Michael knew when it was time to stop saying "Cheese" and start saying "Cheesecake," as in C'est Cheesecake, his successful LA-based gourmet cheesecake business...

Designed and implemented Los Angeles Police Chief Daryl Gates' campaign and slogan "Gates Must Stay", increasing public awareness during the Rodney King incident.