An incoming sixth-grader named Joey is crying into his Starbucks today after his girlfriend caught him cheating on her by going to the park with another girl. She bluntly ended their relationship via perhaps the greatest series of breakup texts ever composed by an 11-year-old.

A Georgia middle school teacher was arrested Tuesday, accused of letting kids have sex with one another in his math classroom’s storage closet.

A middle school substitute teacher has been “removed from the classroom” after he was caught on video Friday hitting students with his belt as they scrambled away from him. The district took action after the footage ended up on LiveLeak, YouTube, and fight-video clearinghouse WorldStarHipHop.

Forty-year-old Teasley Middle School teacher Christine Cantrell was arrested with her husband in Atlanta on Tuesday after allegedly letting minors get high in her home. According to cops, her students ratted her out after their parents tipped off the police.

A 22-year-old woman who was bullied for her looks as a kid says she ran into one of her former tormentors this week, and he asked her out on a date. She agreed, but only so she could stand him up in the ultimate middle-school revenge fantasy.

Just 10 years ago, Taylor Swift was a normal(ish) Pennsylvania middle schooler, who did normal middle school things like playing "Island Girl 1" in a smoothie commercial for a class project. Despite having one line, she gets top billing in the credits, because she's Taylor Swift.

A janitor at a middle school in the Murray Hill neighborhood of New York was caught on the roof of the school masturbating to the view of a neighboring building where women were getting dressed in the morning. The New York Post photographed the man early Tuesday morning.

"Someone get a tape of this? I hope you do, so you can see this when I'm famous and all of you will remember me as this beautiful little girl," says Kim Kardashian in an eighth-grade graduation video dug up by Entertainment Tonight.

Middle school is a nightmare, and any impulse to avoid it is totally understandable. A Florida teenager who had the courage to fight back, however, was rewarded for his bravery this week with a pair of handcuffs and a trip to the St. Johns County jail.

Taxi Benke's photo is easy to spot in the 2014 yearbook from San Antonio's Hector Garcia Middle School: He's a dog.

Phil Collins recently played his first public show since 2010 with a backup band of middle schoolers.

A 42-year-old teacher has been arrested after admitting to giving one of her middle school students a "full contact lap dance" in front of her entire class.

Of course you can.

Seventh grader Jeremy Wuitschick got to drive and be a hero in the same day: the 13-year-old took control of the school bus after the driver fainted, successfully navigating 15 fellow students to safety.

Police in Brownsville, Texas, shot and killed an eighth grader in the hallway of his middle school today after he displayed a gun and "engaged" with officers. Welcome to 2012, everyone!

Dunno, maybe it was just me, but did you guys notice something a little... I don't know... off, about Sequoia Middle School's latest newsletter?

Girls—the middle school denizens who think they're so cute but they're not—are so stupid that they fill up their lockers with all types of dumb decorations, according to a report today by the New York Times.

Students at Russellville Middle School in Arkansas hilariously included a list of the "Top 5 worst people of all time" in their yearbook, and the school is getting in some trouble thanks to the fourth and fifth ranked recipients of this historic award.

"I was at a basketball game tossing in the ball (#34) and #3 hit my eye and I punched him." So says Evan, who recently uploaded this video of him punching an opponent during a youth basketball game gone awry.