A lawyer named Jeremy Pitcock got fired last year, and his firm put a fine point on his dismissal: they issued a press release attributing his firing to "extremely inappropriate personal conduct." That's, uh, not considered a good thing to have on your resume in the legal world. Turns out that the law firm crafted the release with the help of Sitrick & Co., the super high-powered PR firm run by shadowy, high-priced crisis guru Mike Sitrick. Now Pitcock is suing Sitrick and his old firm for $90 million, charging them with ruining his reputation over what he says was simply a misguided and consensual kiss after a drunken night at a bar. The bigger question is, doesn't Sitrick have more important things to do than get embroiled in a petty sexual harassment dismissal? Answer: not really!

Score one for power publicist Mike Sitrick: he's managed to get new client Joe"Girls Gone Wild" Francis profiled not entirely unsympathetically in the Sunday Style section. Joe's still stuck in jail, in spite of having a ton of money and also a ton of friends like Quincy Jones and Greta Van Susteren who don't think he belongs there. He's being held in Reno for tax evasion, but he also faces other charges in Florida that are more along the lines of what you'd expect if you're familiar with his history of being rapey, reporter-assaulty, and Richard Johnson-friendy. But in spite of being given a bully pulpit to drum up sympathy, Joe can't seem to make his cause seem just.

You might wonder why that 2006 Forbes piece about supermarket king Ron Burkle was so gobsmackingly complimentary when the man himself isn't known to be all that nice. Here's why! "Burkle's spin doctor Mike Sitrick worked out a deal for them to go easy in exchange for the otherwise reclusive billionaire speaking at Forbes' 2nd annual MEET Conference last month.." Ooo, that does make sense. But what will happen with the much-discussed Burkle takedown piece in the works for Fortune? Says our source, "No doubt he'll try to cut a similar deal with Fortune." Fortunately for Burkle, speaking slots at Fortune's Brainstorm Conference in Aspen are still wide open.

So magician David Copperfield is under investigation by the FBI for raping a woman in the Bahamas, where he owns a couple islands (one of which has the fountain of youth!). In the last week or so, lots of creepy details about his typical methods of "seduction" have come to light. He or his people would mark the scantily clad girls to come on stage during the show, he'd ask them to meet him backstage, then he'd ask if they like the Bahamas—and who doesn't! So as someone rapidly developing a reputation as an all-around creep who might be a bit rapey, it's time Copperfield got serious. Like by hiring Mike Sitrick! Sitrick, who repped Paris Hilton after the jail thing, has long done great work for sketchy dudes, like supermarket billionaire Ron Burkle and "Girls Gone Wild" king and America's BFF Joe Francis. So Copperfield's in good company!

Last we saw, reporter-assaulter and Page Six pal "Girls Gone Wild" porn king Joe Francis was retooling his image, thanks to the work of PR professional Ronn Torossian. (Ronn made him an insane website in an effort to rebrand Francis from rapist to nice guy. It is not working.) But what's this? Publicist Mike Sitrick—who represents poor emasculated alleged Radar owner Ron Burkle and has aided and abetted Paris Hilton—is now putting out press releases in the case of humanity versus Joe Francis. Oh boy. Probably by the time Sitrick's done, Francis will be voicing animated characters in Disney movies.

So much for Paris Hilton not being able to carry a cover, as Us Weekly's Janice Min says. (Wonder if cover placement was written into Paris's $300K deal? Mike Sitrick? Bueller? Anyone?) People's cover this week (on newsstands Friday) features an extremely demure-looking Hilton and the coverlines: "My Time Behind Bars: After 25 days in jail, she answers questions about her reckless behavior, her emotional breakdown and why people should believe she's changed."

At the end of last week, as the chaos swirled over which network would land the post-jail interview with Paris Hilton, and for how much money, and which network was denying most stridently that it had offered her cash, Hilton's new "crisis manager" Mike Sitrick gave a statement to the press. "Contrary to media reports," he said, "Paris Hilton is not being paid for any television interview nor is Paris Hilton being paid for any collateral material, including videos or photos."