Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis recently had a baby and gave it a dumb name (Wyatt Isabelle). On Conan last night, Ashton unsurprisingly revealed he thinks he's killing it in the Dad Department.

Talentless human scabs Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis have welcomed a child into this world. Mazel tov to them. I retained slight hope that they might name their baby something cool, like Leah Finnegan, but alas—reality serves to annihilate the possibility that celebrities might make good choices. And thus Ashton and Mila have named the baby girl Wyatt Isabelle.

Ashton Kutcher has totally Punk'd fiancée Mila Kunis by impregnating her with his child, E! News reports. The elaborate 9-month-long prank will end with Kunis giving birth to an actual human person and then caring for it until adulthood. Hilarious!

There is just so much to like about this wonderfully atypical press junket interview between Mila Kunis and BBC Radio 1 personality Chris Stark (which was ostensibly to promote Kunis's appearance in Oz the Great and Powerful): Lad points, Jägerbombs, Lad bombs, Mila Kunis, Sir Dosser, The Convict, Chango the Beast, Mila Kunis, Watford Football Club, the Boys, Nando's, Mila Kunis, Steak and Ale Pie, "neck a pint," Dicko, Mila Kunis, drop trou, Baywatch, Mila Kunis, Mila Kunis.

It's not quite pulling passengers out of a burning airliner, but Dustin Hoffman is getting credit for saving the life of a jogger who collapsed while running through London's Hyde Park last month.

Mila Kunis finally gets her Marine Ball. Prince Harry is still partying in Las Vegas (and going to Cirque Du Soleil). Tareq Salahi is suing Michaele Salahi and Neal Schon for inscrutable reasons. Sunday gossip looks like an alien.

Hollywood is the most glamorous place on earth. Except when it comes to unpaid internships: They are just as shitty there as everywhere else.

Unfortunately, the two stars claim that a sexy pictures rumor is just that, a rumor. Also today: January Jones skips the Emmys, Chris Evans competes for ladies, a sad Taylor Amstrong tale, and a sadder Aniston one.

Lindsay Lohan crashes, and then gets kicked out of, Marc Jacobs' party. Tareq Salahi receives a picture of a penis in his mail—a penis we are reasonably sure does not belong to Justin Timberlake. Saturday gossip is here!

All three Kardashians blow off Kris Humphries' plus-size model sister. Mila Kunis gets hacked. A naked man with a Fudgesicle broke into Nicolas Cage's house. Padma Lakshmi bombs at an open mic night. Thursday gossip turns up its nose.

Reggie Bush texts Kim incessantly, begging her ditch Kris at the altar. George Clooney's female wrestler lover sleeps over. Angelina dodges rioters in London. Ali Lohan is officially more bankable than Lindsay. Wednesday gossip is the one that got away.

Remember when that video of actor Bradley Cooper speaking French was going around? I was all, What's the big deal? It's just this really handsome guy speaking fluently in the most romantic language on the planet? Well! I think I sort of "get it" now.

This morning on Today, while promoting Friends With Benefits, Mila and JT brought the testicular humor as they talked about the Marine Corps Ball. Mila declared, "Marines have a lot of balls." Justin agreed, "Marines got balls," and added, "we want to pay honor to our country and embrace their balls." Justin continued to ham it up even after Lester Holt ended the segment.

Contrary to previous reports, Mila Kunis' date with a Marine who asked her out on YouTube is still going to happen. Some outlets had reported that her shooting schedule would keep her from attending the Marine Ball with Sgt. Scott Moore, but her rep says that she's going to find a way to make it. She better solidify her plans quickly, because the Marines have gotten some better offers recently!

Hey U.S. Marines! Apparently you need dates to the Marine Corps Ball this November, since you're asking celebrities like Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake on YouTube. But what about all you Marines who don't have the guts to invite a celebrity in a lighthearted video, but still want to go with a random stranger? You're in luck!

This morning on the Access Hollywood Live program, co-host Billy Bush, the human embodiment of a Teddy Ruxpin doll, said that Mila Kunis will not be going on her Marine Corps Ball date. Oh no!

On Monday, we brought you the heartwarming story of Sgt. Scott Moore, a US Marine stationed in Afghanistan who posted a no-frills YouTube invitation to Mila Kunis, asking her to join him as his date to the Marine Corps Birthday Ball (held November 12 at the Gaylord Resort and Convention Center in Maryland). Her Friends With Benefits costar Justin Timberlake convinced her to say yes during a live interview, and word quickly trickled back to Moore. The Corps has now sent out an official interview, in which Moore reacts to the exciting news that he's now just a couple bases short of catching up with Natalie Portman:

A month ago, Sgt. Scott Moore, a US Marine stationed in Afghanistan, posted a video on YouTube in which he asks hot-actress-of-the-moment Mila Kunis to be his date to the Marine Corps Ball this November. And now she's said yes!

No Strings Attached. Friends With Benefits. Friends With Strings. Attached With Benefits. Are there any differences to any of these movies? Not really. One stars an overexposed, overconfident pretty boy who fancies himself a high tech mogul, and so does the other one. One features an actress that starred as a prima ballerina in the movie Black Swan, and so does the other one. One is a shitty romcom about falling in love with a fuckbuddy, and so is the other one. THEY ARE THE SAME MOVIE, YOU SEE. Still not convinced? Then watch this video. [via BoingBoing]

Natalie Portman had a son last night, officially making her the world's hottest mother. Also today: A scary plot to murder the singer Joss Stone, Nicolas Cage owes us a house, and lots of royal couple news.