Happy birthday, kiddo. Here’s one of those Minion things you like, plus a little box stuffed with cocaine. What’s in the big one? Also cocaine.

The online ecophages known as Minions have already conquered the internet, much of Iraq and death itself. Now, it seems, they are finally coming for the rest of the world, starting with Ireland.

Antonin Scalia is an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. Minions are cartoon characters from a series of popular family films. Dissents authored by Antonin Scalia are laced with quips, one-liners, and barbs designed to be stripped from their greater context and shared, by his ideological fellows and foes alike. Minion memes are images of Minions stripped from their original context, with humorous text added. Can you tell them apart?

Are you a tragically understood artistic genius? Hey, us too! Here's a chance to spread the misunderstanding of your art to a whole new audience. Gawker Media is looking for a Photoshop/Illustrator necromancer to serve our whims, on call, for a few hours a week. Assignments will typically include whipping up one-off graphics to order for various Gawker Media sites, with occasional, more complex tasks as they come down the pike. Payment, dispensed at an hourly rate, will be cheerfully low; however, we promise to invite you to the fourth-tier parties and to pretend to recognize your name when we (rarely) meet in person. Interested individuals should obviously possess excellent skills in Photoshop and Illustrator, have a lifestyle that allows for completing the odd assignment on short notice during the workday, and must live in New York City. If you possess these sterling qualities, send a very brief introduction to artgawker@gmail.com, plus links to samples of work online. No attachments, no resumes.