Miranda Kerr's ex-husband Orlando Bloom has been doing press for whatever Hobbit movie is coming out this week, and in the midst of an interview with Glamour, he made this announcement: "Sculpture was my thing." I'm sorry if you didn't know this, but sculpture was Orlando Bloom's thing.

Orlando Bloom taking a swing at Justin Bieber at a tony Italian restaurant in Ibiza two nights ago was an event years in the making. The rumors that Bieber slept with Bloom's ex-wife Miranda Kerr have spun a web that has entangled not just those three, but also Bieber's on-again, off-again girlfriend Selena Gomez and a pair of Australian rich people.

Human pissbucket Justin Bieber and fucking Legolas got into a fight last night at Cipriani in Ibiza. According to eyewitnesses and video footage captured at the scene, Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Bieber after he suggested he banged Bloom's ex-wife, Miranda Kerr.

Happily single Australian supermodel Miranda Kerr is taking a break from relationships and focusing on herself for a while. She's into transcendental meditation, experimenting with women, and that most self-improving of all activities, flip cup.

Two Australian billionaires apparently started punching each other in broad daylight last week when one confronted the other about dating Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr after leaving his wife and children last year.

The most surprising aspect of Forbes' list of the world's highest paid models is that the names here don't make more money. Considering that DJ Pauly D earned $13 million within the very same time frame, the $7.2 million second-highest-grossing figure Miranda Kerr brought in seems low. Also, no Kate Upton.

Last night was the Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards, which is like the Oscars of the fashion industry, except it wasn't televised, we didn't speculate about the winners for months on end, and there were even more gay men in attendance. Naturally, with anything fashion-related, there were a ton of wacky outfits. Let's look!

Evan Rachel Wood wants you to know that she sometimes dates women. Lindsay Lohan uses Good Friday to get out of court. Lea Michele pulls a bitch move at Coachella. Nic Cage goes back to work. Tuesday gossip is single and ready to mingle.

John Travolta sings show tunes to his new son. Kate Hudson is pregnant. Tia Mowry is pregnant. Olivia Munn's see-through panties are getting people worked up. Wednesday gossip is all babies, all the time, with a side of sex.

Pauly D and Chloe Sevigny star in the craziest dating rumor we've heard, probably ever? Orland Bloom and Miranda Kerr have a kid. Lindsay Lohan makes peace with her new neighbor, Samantha Ronson. Saturday Gossip Roundup is taking it slow.

Poor, on-the-mend Courtney Love will do anything to get close to Adrien Brody. Also today: Some harsh words for Demi Lovato's dad, Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky part ways, Bristol Palin has a problem, and a naked pregnant lady.

The Montag-Pratts formally end their divorce charade. Heidi Klum quits Victoria's Secret. Lindsay Lohan wears fancy outfits at rehab. Charlie Sheen's daughter has a Twilight-themed wedding. TGIFriday gossip.

Now is your chance to reprimand Jennifer Aniston. Spencer Pratt is writing a tell-all. Miranda Kerr is with child. Lindsay Lohan is off drugs. Twelve Duggars get the chicken pox at the same time. TGIFriday gossip.

@AngelinaJolie doesn't have followers yet—who will be the first? Paris Hilton denies doing a Nazi salute. Justin Bieber's life saved by a Segway. Ke$ha has a spanking fetish. Tuesday gossip is one tweet away from your best friend.

Since Brangelina definitely aren't breaking up, gossips dig deep for rumors from Angie's past. SamRo visits LiLo in jail. Bret Michaels' tour bus busted for drugs. Mel Gibson's latest rumored rant: "I want Jew blood on my hands." TGIFriday gossip.

Lohan's people will probably airbrush the SCRAM out of her nudie pics, but hopefully there will be outtakes. The Bachelor breaks up with his reality TV-anointed wife. Everybody who's anybody is posting Miley Cyrus crotch pictures, now. Tuesday gossip cometh.

Remember the banker that got busted for looking at racy photos on his computer because one of his colleagues was being interviewed on TV at the time? The woman he was looking at pictures of—Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr—has now stepped in and offered to sign a petition to help him try and save his job. [Herald Sun/NYP, previously]

• Courtney Love has lost control of her daughter. Frances Bean Cobain is almost an adult—she's 17—but a LA judge has granted guardianship to Kurt Cobain's mother and younger sister yesterday. Don't think it's because Courtney is on drugs or completely crazy (although she is). It's just that Frances is a "strong-willed child" and prefers to "live with her grandmother at this time." [People, TMZ]
• Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson have yet to confirm reports they've broken up, but it's looking like A-Rod has already moved on. He was seen in Miami this past weekend in the company of a "leggy blonde," and reportedly told another bunch of girls he was chatting up that he's "definitely single." [P6, NYDN]
• Tara Reid's redemption is underway! Not only is she hanging out with classy characters like Giuseppe Cipriani, she's announced that she'll be appearing topless in the January-February issue of Playboy. Welcome back! [P6, Us]

Lindsay Lohan's Rashomon-like love life takes three different turns in one day, Tiger Mistress #1 prepares to tell all, and the Salahis cancel Christmas. Come bathe in a sea of Thursday's gossip.

Cate Blanchett helping her kids into a cab after a shopping trip to Babies 'R Us ... Miranda Kerr leaving a doctor's office, and later shopping in Chelsea with her dog in tow ... Kate Winslet walking with a friend in the West Village ... Steve Martin riding a bike in Central Park ... Elijah Wood and Dianna Agron playing tennis on the set of The Romantics on Long Island ... Tim Robbins playing roller hockey in the West Village ... Danica Patrick leaving Fox News in Midtown ... Jessica Simpson going to see Chicago at the Ambassador Theatre ... Taylor Momsen arriving at MTV's Times Square studios ... Don Imus leaving WABC ... and Catherine Zeta-Jones walking into her apartment building on Central Park West.