"It makes me wonder who my fellow citizens are. I've got to be honest, I feel like I've lost touch with what the identity of America is right now. I really do." —Boston Republican voter Marianne Doherty, on her feelings following Obama's reelection.

The image to the right was posted to the official Durex Condoms account on the Chinese Twitter clone Sina Weibo last night. The caption reads: "The difference between Obama and Romney is..." So far it has been forwarded (i.e. retweeted) over 43,000 times. Dick jokes: The international language. [Beijing Cream]

Mitt Romney's concession speech was surprisingly gracious, at least compared to other parts of his campaign, but, like the man himself, it was also incredibly boring. He covered all the standard points: he began by congratulating the Obamas (and this time, thankfully, there was no booing), and then thanked Paul Ryan, his wife Ann ("She would have been a wonderful first lady," which, no, but still a sweet gesture), his creepy sons, and his campaign. Teachers, professors, rabbis, pastors and parents all got shout outs as did, of course, "job creators." And he ended it with: "I believe in America. I believe in the people of America." He forgot to add, "Except for 47% of them. Those people, I really don't believe in at all."

Tonight, on television: the season finale of American Politics. After millions of years of campaigning, human president Barack Obama and liquid-metal terminator Mitt Romney will meet on the Sacred Plains for the mythical and deadly Dance of Swords, the traditional choosing ceremony for our people. Who will win their bloody game? Who will retain control the Senate? Will Chris Christie finally attract the attention of his crush Bruce Springsteen? Will top CNN analyst The Will.i.am Hologram seize return to prophesy the birth of a God-Emperor whose reign will surpass a thousand years? Crack election experts "the staff of Gawker.com" will be here to "live-blog" the results as those questions — and more! — are answered. Join us!

Exit polls are out! Exit polls are meaningless and often wrong! But Matt Drudge has posted them, and amended them, and rejiggered them, to make things look better for Mitt Romney. Because they don't look good for Mitt Romney. In fact, they look like he lost.

This story is just about perfect: A West Boca Raton voter was barred from entering her polling place because she was wearing an MIT shirt.

It is Election Day! Time for Americans to come together after months and months of vindictive, divisive, hateful caterwauling about politics and finally put all the barking to a vote. Instagram user outmouth voted for "a gay dog" for president, as you can see above. That was probably not a wise decision, especially if he or she lives in Ohio. But that's the beauty of democracy: Every clown and madman gets to do it as long as they're over 18 and haven't committed a felony.

It is difficult to have a rational conversation about reelecting Barack Obama. The right still likes to believe the left considers him "Obamessiah." Progressives seem to salivate at how pristinely their principles appear next to his shortcomings. And those young enough to not have experienced the soulfucker that was Clinton's second term almost revel in their worldly contempt after seeing their 2008 dreams brought low. Look, ma, I got my political disenchantment badge!

Peggy Noonan—White House veteran, Sunday morning talk show staple, author, Wall Street Journal political columnist, and intrepid explorer of America's darkest corners—is paid handsomely to offer her professional, expert political opinions, which many readers take very seriously.

The controversial Irish bookmaker Paddy Power is certain President Obama is a lock for another four years in the White House. How certain? With over 24 hours remaining before an official winner is declared, the company is already paying out over $800,000 to the gamblers who picked Obama over Romney.

Still trying to shake off those Monday morning cobwebs? This video is guaranteed to wake you right up.

Four years ago, the Daily News endorsed Obama, seeing a historic figure whose intelligence, political skills and empathy with common folk positioned him to build on the small practical experience he would bring to the world's toughest job. We valued Obama's pledge to govern with bold pragmatism and bipartisanship.

Last week Murray Waas reported in the Boston Globe that as governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney refused to change the state's birth certificate to acknowledge legal births to same-sex parents. Gay couples with children were to cross out "mother" or "father" on the forms and write themselves in, leaving their children's official documents permanently altered. Romney later explained the thinking behind the decision this way: "Some gays are actually having children born to them. It's not right on paper. It's not right in fact." Here's the video.

As many on the East Coast prepare for whatever wreck and ruin Sandy has in store, wouldn't it be nice to know that the government too is preparing to provide relief to those most affected by the aftermath? Which is why it might be useful to know that under Romney/Ryan, the answer to that question would be "absolutely" nothing.

You might not expect Buffy the Vampire Slayer showrunner and Obama supporter Joss Whedon to record a video endorsement for Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, but that's only because you're underestimating his desire to see the zombie apocalypse become a reality in our lifetime.

It appears as if the truth of Unskewed Polls has swept the nation. Just days after star conservative pollster Dean Chambers ended Nate Silver's career in devastating fashion, a wave of liberal-on-conservative crime has spread across the country. Coincidence? That's for you to decide:

The GOP is pretty racist. I could list examples, but we'd be here for the rest of eternity. This week's particular "widely believed racist conspiracy that some old, white Republican was dumb enough to say in public" comes from Mitt Romney co-chair and ex-George H.W. Bush chief of staff John Sununu, who said that Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama because Powell disagrees with Romney's foreign policy. Wait, no, it's because they're both black.

On Wednesday, cool guy Eric Hartsburg auctioned off a 5-by-2 inch spot on the right side of his face for a Mitt Romney tattoo. The winning bid? $15,000, from an anonymous Republican eBay user. This means real estate on Hartsburg's face is worth $1,500 per square inch, which is pretty good considering the trio of lip piercings nearby.

When Meat Loaf announced last night that he was giving Mitt Romney his first-ever political endorsement because Barack Obama said the Cold War was over and Romney was therefore the only candidate left who was willing to stand up to the Red Menace, the jokes pretty much wrote themselves.

Politico's Mike Allen got his hands a copy of Rolling Stone's upcoming cover story, Douglas Brinkley's "Obama and the Road Ahead," and pulled out this gem of a quote: