Andrea Peyser—leading hate and sex and hate sex sexxxpert at New York's trashiest tabloid—has, at long last, issued her presidential endorsement. She has made her choice primarily on the basis of her feminist values.

Does Mitt Romney use spray tan? It's the question we've all asked, and answered, with, yes, duh, of course, look at this picture. But in the absence of sources, we've been stuck just pointing at this photo, in which Mitt Romney is clearly wearing spray tan.

RadarOnline broke the news yesterday that attention-happy attorney Gloria Allred was on her way to Boston for a court hearing aimed at unsealing sworn testimony given by Romney that could potentially harm his campaign.

It's not a secret that Indiana Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock believes abortion should only be allowed in the case of when the mother's life is in danger. But tonight he made the mistake of implying that pregnancies resulting from rape a "gift from god." Oof.

A photo of a young looking Mitt Romney with Marcus Bachmann-like limp wrists is making the rounds on Twitter and Tumblr. Even Paula Froelich got in on it today. Look at those teen bullies laugh!

It's time for another presidential debate, but this one is different, because everyone will follow the rules and tell the truth. This is the foreign policy debate, which means we get to witness the Lucky Alien Sweepstakes, in which the two candidates' answers determine just which nation's people have won the right to be torched alive from airborne American hellfire. CROSS YOUR FINGERS, SYRIA.

I see all these people out here talking about how the presidential election this year "now appears to be a dead heat." Yeah right. You go right on ahead with that, Sherlock. Feed that one into the computer, good plan.

The small town of Leakey, Texas (pop. 387), is stirring with an excitement not felt since the Leakey High Eagles last won the state football championship in 1975. But this latest stir has less to do with victory and far more to do with pure ignorant hatred, compliments of Leakey's nondenominational Church in the Valley.

Proving once again that close access to politicians doesn't result in favoritism or any other blurring of professional responsibility, members of the media covering the Romney campaign played a fun little game of flag football with Romney's staff on Sunday. Such fun! Many hilarious jokes were made.

A recent post on the New York Times Campaign Stops blog discusses all sorts of Google search-related political factoids. The point of the analysis is, for the Times' purpose, to act as a predictor (or, the article's title puts it, a "crystal ball") for the election. But it also offers up important information about how often people do things like search for topless photos of Paul Ryan, or, on the more depressing end of the spectrum, how often people searched for "Obama" in conjunction with "KKK." Here are some of more interesting searches:

Way back during the Republican primaries, presidential candidate and creepy son-maker Mitt Romney once famously declared his love for firing people. Today, a report from the New York Times clarifies Romney's definition of fireable people as anyone who he has not worked with closely (i.e. played at least one round of golf with).

The Salt Lake Tribune endorses Kenyan President Barack Obama. Has Mittens lost the Mormons?

Speaking at Virginia's George Mason University this afternoon, President Obama told the crowd he knows why his rival Mitt Romney has been "backtracking and sidestepping" so much lately: He's suffering from a condition known as "Romnesia."

An anonymous "family foundation" has paid for nearly 150 threatening voter fraud ads to go up around the Midwest, often in predominately black and Latino neighborhoods (the one above looms across the street from a housing project in Cleveland). The ads, 85 of which have appeared in Milwaukee and 60 of which are now around Cleveland and Columbus, read, "Voter fraud is a felony! Up to 3 1/2 years & $10,000 fine."

The annual white-tie function known as the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner took place last night.

Dilbert creator Scott Adams is a rich white man who has turned his allegiance to Mitt Romney — I'll give you a moment to regain your composure. Okay. On Wednesday, Adams wrote a mildly coherent blog post explaining why he will be voting for Mitt Romney in November, one that starts with a hypothetical situation that includes the phrase, "For the record, President Obama did not technically kill anyone to get elected."

After Tuesday night's debate, a photograph of Mitt Romey's son Josh sitting in the audience with a bloodcurdling stare quickly went viral. And then, yesterday, another Romney son — Tagg — told a radio host that he wanted to "take a swing" at President Obama. All of which leads to the natural question: which is the creepiest Romney?

No one is quite sure who's behind a mysterious new website promising "an October Surprise that will change the 2012 election," but that hasn't stopped people from guessing.

If you are a business owner, Mitt Romney has a message for you. Tell your employees that the future depends on voting for Mitt Romney. You can do that, legally. In fact, tell them—the people whose paychecks you sign—that their futures depend on it, too.

After Mitt Romney bragged about the "binders full of women" he was given while Governor of Massachusetts, Amazon was flooded with cheeky, often funny customer reviews of its binders.